River's End (River's End Series, #1)(82)

“Disappointing?”

“The horse I went there to get wasn’t ready to travel.”

She let out a breath. “Oh… just the horse was disappointing?”

“Yeah, what else would be?”

“Ian said you go out of town when you want to get laid. Is that why you seem a bit more relaxed? Even taking one afternoon off to play with your kids?” Okay, she wanted to now simply bite her tongue off. She blurted it out, but never, ever meant to approach Jack about his sex life. She shut her eyes in abject horror.

Silence followed her comment. She smacked a hand to her face. God, how could she have said that out loud? His voice was quiet and stern. “I play with my kids, Erin. I’m not always working. And why in the hell were you and Ian talking about me getting laid?”

“Okay, he didn’t say that exactly. But I got the picture.”

“What picture?”

“What you do when you go out of town.”

Jack deliberately sat up. “Where should I do it? With the three single women who live in town? The only ones Lily and I didn’t go to school with?” he dropped his voice and added, “Or should I do that with you?”

She stared out at the water and watched a group of inner tubers floating by, all waving and calling hello to Jack. He waved back, but his entire focus was on her. They watched the group round the corner.

“Well? You haven’t answered me.”

She wouldn’t answer him either. He chuckled as he stood up. “You’re really not as bad ass as you pretend. You’re so red, you look like a boiled lobster.”

“I don’t pretend I’m bad ass.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not when it comes to me. And I didn’t get laid, if it makes you any happier to know.”

She shot a glance up at him, but the sun blinded her and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She slowly rose to her feet. Sand clung everywhere to her, in places she really wished it wouldn’t. Since she had no shoes or towel, she waited for Jack to go first with his jeans wet and clinging to him. He stuck his boots on his bare feet and muttered how bad that felt.

As she tiptoed over the hot sand behind him, she asked, “So does the pool get to stay?”

He stopped so abruptly, she ran into his back. “That’s what you’re most concerned with, isn’t it? The damn pool?”

“Well? Can it?”

“You don’t give me much choice, now do you? Now that Charlie loves it.”

She heard the tone and sensed he knew it was she who loved it too. “It gets really hot here in the afternoons.”

“If you were so hot, why didn’t you just order air conditioning for the trailer?”

“I can’t afford that.”

He shrugged. “I’ll order you some.”

She didn’t get why some things with Jack were such a big deal, and others were not. The pool was far cheaper than getting air conditioning, yet the pool was the problem?

She went directly back to the pool, where Charlie and Ben were already swimming happily. It was sun-warmed, warmer than the river, but still very refreshing. She floated forever, staring up above her at the deep, blue, endless sky, and scorching, white sunlight. This was what a summer was supposed to be like. It was all she could think of lately as she watched Charlie and Ben playing on the beach, or in the river, or floating down the river with their friends. She loved to watch them frolic and cavort, just being young in the sun. She’d never had a summer like that. And never frolicked anywhere.

Her only concern during Jack’s brief absence was how much time Ben was spending with that Marcy Fielding girl. She didn’t like how they often ambled up the beach for long periods of time and then disappeared. She intended to talk to Jack about it. There was no doubt in her mind Ben would try and sleep with Marcy; and judging by Marcy’s reputation, Erin didn’t have much hope Marcy would hold out too long. They were too young, and shouldn’t be doing such things.

She was becoming obsessed over it. She didn’t want Ben doing that. Not like she did when she was his age. She knew it was twisted, considering her past, and that she was not even close to being Ben’s guardian. She barely allowed Ben to be alone during the past weeks, and made sure to always follow them as they went up the beach or into the house. During Jack’s absence, she strangely got way more comfortable in the Rydell household. It seemed odd, but she was more at ease getting to know Shane, Ian, Ben and Charlie without Jack being there. She was able to move about the house easier, and didn’t always have to keep her eyes and ears open while worrying where Jack was and what he’d think of whatever she was doing. She’d spent many evenings watching TV with the brothers, and hanging out with Charlie on the porch playing board games, while, of course, keeping an eye on Ben. She’d also taken to wandering into the cool air of the house whenever she needed a refresher. No one cared. They just said hello, and quickly went back to whatever they were doing.

She realized this should all be good. She was becoming accepted, and grew more comfortable as part of the Rydell household. But it wasn’t a good thing. It meant she put way too much stock into what Jack thought about her and whatever she did. It put her on edge, and her heart on high alert. But it mostly scared the shit out of her. No one ever made her feel that way. No one ever had that kind of power over her. No one’s opinion ever mattered to her like Jack Rydell’s.