River's End (River's End Series, #1)(33)

She stared down again at her feet; not the best place for her thoughts. She slept with his brother. There was no getting around that. Or becoming more to Jack than just that.

“This was Lily’s favorite spot on the ranch.”

She turned her eyes up to his profile. Jack never revealed personal information to her, or in front of her.

“Lily was your wife?” She knew that Lily Rydell was Jack’s wife, but thought to say it if only to keep Jack talking to her.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“When did she die?”

Jack glanced at her. She blushed and dropped her head, staring harder at the grass clumps surrounding her feet. Maybe that was asking too much.

“More than five years ago now.”

“Charlie was young.”

“Charlie was way too young then.” Jack’s voice changed, and became huskier.

“You were all too young. I’m sorry. It must have been terrible for you, and for the boys. Does Charlie remember her?”

“Not much. But Ben does.”

She wanted to ask more, and know more, to know everything. But it wasn’t her right or her place, and she feared it would piss Jack off at her. This was about the friendliest he’d ever been with her, and she did not want to ruin the moment.

Jack finally looked at her. “You’re looking calmer now. You think we could try to get out of here? Rain’s not too far off.”

She glanced up at the edge of the sky where he pointed. It did look dark. She then realized, with a sinking heart, that Jack had only spoken to her so civilly to calm her nerves. He distracted her long enough to get her panic under control so he could get her out of there, not because he had any interest in hearing what she had to say.

“How?”

“Any chance you’ll let me lead you out of here on Georgie? You can close your eyes and hold onto the saddle horn. You don’t have to do anything.”

The horses stood waiting where Jack left them. Their heads were down as they calmly munched on the grass springing up green and lush around them. They seemed calm and even majestic against the sky and valley beyond them. But to get back on one of them? And ride down the mountain? No. She could not do that.

But she didn’t have a choice now, did she? What if Jack simply got disgusted and left her there? Her hands immediately became moist with sweat. No! She could not be stranded here alone again either.

Her stomach knotted as the dizziness swept over her head and right down into her gut.

Jack jumped to his feet. “By your face, I’m guessing that’s not going to happen.”

“I want to. I just… I can’t. I know you can’t understand how I don’t just buck up and do it but…”

He stood over her with his hands on his hips, and his elbows out. “I do understand. I don’t think you’re faking it. If I did, I would have long ago gotten you down.”

“Oh,” she said with a hesitant glance his way. “Then what do I do?”

“You ride with me.”

Her eyes jerked up to him and he looked huge over her. Ride with him? As in, on his horse? No. No way. That required still getting on a horse in the middle of a mountain, and it too, included Jack touching her. She didn’t touch Jack. She could not touch Jack. That was way too awkward to contemplate.

“I can’t do that.”

“It’s about all you can do. You know I can handle the horses. You can trust that much, huh?”

She nodded. Yes, she knew he could handle any and all horses. But with her on the same one too?

She stood up slowly and her legs shook while her stomach pitched. She stared at his hair rather than down or across the valley.

“How? There can’t be enough room.”

“I didn’t say it would be comfortable. I’m just saying it’ll get you down.”

She stared at the saddle. How could they fit? That thought kept her mind engaged rather than contemplating if she would panic once atop the horse and teetering above the valley.

“Where do I sit?”

“With most people, I’d have you hanging onto the back of me. You, however, are too afraid to even do that. So you’ll have to sit in front of me.”

“But the saddle horn is in the way.”

“Just be glad you’re a small girl,” he said, turning away from her and walking towards his horse. He grabbed the reins and led the horse towards her. She stepped back, almost stumbling in terror.

Jack let go of the reins and moved closer to her. Before she could realize his intentions, he reached out, grabbed her waist, and lifted her up. She exclaimed her surprise and instantly struggled out of sheer annoyance. He was manhandling her! She couldn’t believe it. Then, that quickly, he sat her on the horse. She opened her mouth in shock to be up there, then looked down, and almost tumbled off as wave after wave of dizziness overcame her. She groped for the saddle horn and squeezed it with all her strength as she slammed her eyes shut.

She was going to die.

Jack mounted the horse behind her. He swung a leg over the saddle and straddled the horse, perched on each stirrup. He one-handedly scooted her forward. Her crotch banged painfully into the saddle horn and she was forced to open her eyes. She grasped the small knot of the saddle horn as her body strained to get past it, feeling like a damn contortionist. Then the heat of Jack’s body was behind her and he sat half in the saddle, half on the back of it. The old westerns made it look romantic to ride in tandem. However, they didn’t show how much pain and discomfort it involved, which made it awkward and awful. And put her way too close to Jack.