Risky (Torn Between Two Lovers #2)(42)

“I wanted my brothers,” Sebastian answered hoarsely. “I wanted Dad back.”

“I wanted that, too. But so many people were depending on me that I knew I had to keep everything under control.”

“You thought you had to stay distant to keep yourself going?” Dane queried.

“Yes. I was on pretty shaky ground for a while, but I didn’t want anyone to know.” I’d been terrified, but I didn’t admit that. “I still miss Dad every single day,” I confessed.

“We all do,” Dane answered. “I think we just handle it differently. For a while, I felt guilty that I lived and he died.”

Sebastian and I both stared at Dane with astonished expressions. My baby brother had been through so damn much. It irked me that he was also dealing with guilt over being alive when our father was gone. “Don’t, Dane,” I requested.

My little brother held up a hand. “I got over that. But it took time. Unfortunately, I think Sebastian has some issues to settle.”

“I don’t—”

I interrupted Sebastian. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never asked what either one of you wanted. I assumed too much. I was overwhelmed.”

“Not an issue for me,” Dane answered, staring directly at Sebastian. “Like I said, I was grateful you took over.”

Sebastian set his drink on the table and let out a large sigh. “I wasn’t grateful. I was jealous. I wanted to be able to be like you, Trace. I wanted to help you, I wanted to be grown up enough to help.”

“Don’t wish for that,” I grunted. “It sucked.”

For years, I’d closed off every emotion I had just to keep control. Eva had been the only one to break through my veneer of calm assurance to see me for exactly who I was. I’d never grieved for my father, and I’d never gotten over everything I’d lost.

“You’re right, Trace. I do need to grow up,” Sebastian admitted as he leaned back against the couch.

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I asked jokingly.


Sebastian grinned. “Maybe be second in command at Walker? I’m thinking maybe I could buy back in again.”

The last thing my brother would ever be is second at anything. “I’d only accept an equal partnership. You’d have to cough up the money to be a partner.”

Sebastian had studied engineering, and I’d always assumed he’d start his engineering firm. He had, after all, minored in business. Really, he’d make an incredible partner if he gave up the booze and partying.

“I could take some of the load off of you, Trace,” Sebastian said hesitantly. “I think I’d like that. I could head up some of the building projects.”

“I hate that part,” I told him with a frown.

Sebastian grinned. “Sounds like it might work.”

“I’m not moving the main offices back to Texas.” I’d worked for too long to get everything centered in Denver, and I liked it here.

“I’ll sell the property there and work here,” Sebastian compromised.

“It won’t be easy,” I warned, knowing it would be hard to sell the assets he had in Texas, including the family mansion back near Dallas that Sebastian currently owned and lived in—when he was actually home.

“I don’t need easy,” Sebastian rasped adamantly. “I just need a purpose.”

“You have one,” I answered quickly, knowing I wanted my brother with me again. I could see his determination, and I had no doubt he could clean up his act.

Sebastian nodded. “I think I do now.”

I looked at both of my brothers, wondering how I could ever have been so misdirected when it came to Sebastian. Had I done the same with Dane?

As though he could hear my thoughts, Dane remarked drily, “Don’t be thinking I’ll be moving here to Denver. I like my solitude.”

Okay. Maybe I’d been on target when it came to Dane.

“I’ll start working on selling everything off and moving right after the holidays,” Sebastian said eagerly.

I had to grin at his enthusiasm, and my heart felt lighter than it had in years. “So you’re ready to dump your social life?”

I noticed Sebastian’s whiskey was sitting idle, and he wasn’t reaching for it eagerly. I hadn’t seen him take a break on drinking since he’d gotten here.

“It was getting boring,” he answered earnestly. “I’m thinking I might find myself a woman like Eva, settle down eventually.”

“Touch her and brother or not, I’ll kill you,” I growled, only partially serious.

Sebastian raised a hand in surrender. “She’s obviously in love with you. If she wasn’t so hung up on your ass, I’d probably try to lure her away. She makes incredible pasta.”

“She’s more than just a good cook,” I said irritably. “She’s my everything.”

I realized that I wasn’t acting anymore. Eva had come to mean so damn much to me in such a short time. Separating after the holidays were over wasn’t even an option anymore. I needed her, and I didn’t want to imagine what my life would be without her. I think I’d known from the very beginning that I was never going to let her go.

“That’s pretty intense,” Sebastian mumbled. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet a woman I can’t live without.”