Risking it All (Crossing the Line, #1)(49)

Dammit, there were too many threats.

Too many ways she could get hurt. As soon as he took care of business tonight, he was calling this shit off. Either the cops came and got her the hell out of Brooklyn tomorrow or he would get her out himself. He didn’t know how he would accomplish it when she would fight him every step of the way, but it would be done. Pain lanced his stomach at the realization he wouldn’t see her again once they took her. God, he wanted to keep her. Wanted to lock them both in his apartment and never leave, except maybe for church. Whatever it took to keep her happy. But he knew his stupid fantasy would never come true. It couldn’t, because of who they were and the damn countdown clock hovering over their heads. Trying to make it come true would be selfish and could get her killed.

Making sure not to look directly at Sera, he helped her from the passenger seat and hustled her toward the building.

They were inside his apartment in under a minute, safe inside four walls, but he rejected the feeling of calm. If he narrowed his concentration down into one neat funnel, he could get out of there without touching her to reassure himself she was all right. If he let that happen, he didn’t know if he could stop.

Leaving her standing just inside the locked door, he flew around the apartment checking and double-checking no one had broken in. Her gaze stayed with him the entire time. It drew him, tempted him to lose himself inside it, but he staunchly refused. Once he’d checked every square inch of the apartment, he took her arm and led her into his bedroom. He wanted to watch her, gauge her reaction to his private space.

Instead, he went to his closet and crouched down, so he could punch in the combination to his safe.

“Do you know how to use a gun?” he asked, trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Of course she did, but he wanted her to lie. He wanted to throw fuel onto his fire. Another deception from her would do the trick.

“Yes.”

His hand froze in the action of removing his Glock from the safe, something

warm

and

unwanted

expanding in his chest. That single truthful word doused his desire for her to lie. Tell me everything, baby. Please, no more hiding. “Really. Care to tell me how?”

“Bowen, please. Will you just look at me?”

He could feel her standing behind him.

“You will stay in this room, with the door locked, until I come back. Anyone tries to get in that isn’t me, you shoot them, Sera. Tell me you understand. Tell me you’ll listen this time.”

When he stood to face her, she was entirely too close. Close enough to grab.

To taste. His bed was only a few short steps away, covers still rumpled and unmade from this morning. The mural depicting death and destruction on the wall behind his bed outlined her body, hitting home just how much danger existed around her. His danger. His world.

Bowen kept his gaze glued firmly above her head, pretending fascination with some invisible spot that didn’t exist. “I’m waiting for an answer.” He heard her deep intake of breath. She moved closer and everything inside him seized. “Don’t.” Don’t what? He had no idea what he was asking her not to do, only knew it would break him.

Obviously deciding to ignore his request, she laid a hand on his chest, immediately making him shudder from head to toe. He closed his eyes defensively as her hand traced over his chest, up his neck and into his hair. Oh, God, he wanted to fall at her feet.

Frantically, he searched in the darkness for his anger and gripped it like a lifeline.

When she laid her lips against his neck, that lifeline was ripped from his hands. “Please, don’t leave me. Please stay.” Unable to speak, he shook his head, but it only caused her lips to drag along the heated skin of his neck. A groan left him before he could stop it.

The battle to remain detached growing weak with the sound of her voice. “I’m scared. Stay with me.”

No. Oh, Jesus. She’d said the one thing that could topple the reinforced steel barrier he’d built. At that moment, the only thing that kept it standing was the chance she could be playing him.

Was she really scared or did she just want him to stay? He made the mistake of finally looking into her addictive brown eyes and felt irreparable cracks forming in his wall. Fear. She was scared. With the acknowledgment of that came the need to protect. To erase the fear. He tried to hold it back, to remember what needed to be done tonight. Retribution. Payback. He needed to punish the men responsible for the fear.

Her lips brushed over his, once, twice. She disentangled the hand she’d twined in his hair, letting it coast down his body and linger at his belt buckle.

His body felt ready to snap with the tension, the anticipation of something he didn’t have the right to want.

“I have to go, Sera.”

Her breath raced past her lips.

“Where are you going?”

“You know where I’m going. Don’t make me say it.” Fuck. Her eyes were wet. It stripped him bare. The emotions he’d been holding at bay came rushing in from all sides and he fell back a step, reaching deep to find his determination and coming up empty. Frustration welled in its place, laced with the helplessness he’d felt earlier. “You have any idea what could have happened to you?” He was shouting but couldn’t find the will to care. “What if I hadn’t gotten to you in time? If I’d been one minute later, Sera.