Risking it All (Crossing the Line, #1)(20)

reactions

from

her

body,

scrambling her brain. Made her question everything she knew about herself.

Bowen released her mouth on a curse.

“Watching you work f*cks me up. You have any idea what it does to me when you bend over a table and smile? It makes me want to pull up your skirt and turn that smile into a scream.”

His words shivered down her back.

“Do you talk to every girl like this?”

“I don’t even turn on the lights for other girls.”

Why did that kick up a spark of pleasure? It was just another line. She knew it and yet, combined with the way he looked at her, she felt like the only person in the room. “That’s just bad manners.”

Gray eyes twinkled. “They’re the only kind I have.”

“You’re confusing me, Bowen.” She took a deep breath. “I need to get back to work.”

When she tried to extricate herself, he didn’t budge. “That’s the first time you’ve said my name.” He rubbed their lips together. “Whisper it again in my ear, then I’ll go.”

“You’re a lunatic.” He simply raised an eyebrow and she sighed, annoyed at the traitorous smile playing around her mouth. Holding his shoulders for support, she pressed up on her toes and laid her mouth against his ear. After taking a moment to inhale his smoky leather scent, she let his name fall from her lips. “Bowen.”

He actually shook. The arm banding her waist tightened, and the breath whooshed from her lungs. Then just as quickly, he let her go. “I’ll be right back.”

All she could do was nod.





CHAPTER SEVEN


Bowen bit the inside of his cheek to silence the screaming in his head, the churning sickness in his stomach. His knuckles ached and he needed to wash them off before he saw Sera. It helped to think about her, so he hung on to the image of her lying in the middle of his guest bed. Any minute, he would get out of this car full of jackasses bragging about

the

beatdowns

they’d

just

delivered and see her again. And maybe she’d let him pretend like earlier. Maybe she’d let him kiss her and call her Ladybug and fantasize they weren’t so different. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Not one f*cking certainty in his life, except for pain. The giving of it and the receiving of it. Not a day went by anymore where he didn’t condone the use of violence. As a teenager and even through his early twenties, he’d loved fighting. Lived for it. He’d loved the fact no one ever got the drop on him; he could use his fists to get out of any situation. That time had long passed, and now it was work. The kind of work that breaks you down until nothing registers.

For a while now, he’d experienced slips into numbness. It got a little easier every time, to issue the order. A little easier to think of people as dollar signs instead of living, breathing human beings with souls.

Had he been born with a soul? He’d often wondered if it were possible to walk upright, communicating and living life with just the idea of where his soul should be. Worse, did people see that lack in him? Is that why everyone left in the end?

An image of the woman, hair streaked full of pink, replaced Sera in his mind, but he grabbed on to her and held tight, the way he wished he could do in real life. He didn’t want to think about the woman or why she’d left or if it had been something he could have prevented.

Something

he

could

have

done

differently. Right now, at least he had a purpose. Protect Sera. Keep Ruby’s involvement in his father’s arrest confidential. If he could do those two things, maybe he could look back one day and say he’d done something that mattered. Keeping his own ass out of jail didn’t quite rate in comparison, but it drove him, too. No way would he pass his father in the Rikers Island cafeteria and see smug satisfaction on his face.

Finally, after an eternity, the car pulled over to drop him at the curb outside of Rush. The other passengers were still in their element, mimicking the cries of pain they’d induced tonight, already talking about the next time.

Irritation snapping behind his eyes, he stooped down and leaned into the passenger side window. Everyone shut up, attention zeroing in on him. “Listen up. You *s want to go out and get your dicks wet, get drunk? Have at it.

But keep your f*cking mouths shut.

You’re about as inconspicuous as a couple of Macy’s parade floats. This isn’t your first fight and it won’t be your last, so quit acting like it. You’re embarrassing yourselves and me in the process.”

The driver held up his hands. “You got it, boss.”

God, he hated being called that. Boss of what? A car full of shitheads. He straightened and patted the car’s roof once. “Take it easy on them girls.”

Spirits somewhat restored, the car full of men pulled away as Bowen walked into Rush, nodding in greeting at the bouncer. As he wove through the crowd at the bar, he heard his name spoken several times. Some of the voices female, some male. He ignored them all.

The moment his eyes landed on Sera, the screaming in his head died down to a whisper. Face flushed, hair falling out of its ponytail, she looked more than a little flustered. Since he’d left, the place had grown busy, the typical Saturday night crowd looking to get rowdy. The tray full of drinks in her hand looked seconds from gracing the floor.