Risk (Gentry Boys #2)(79)

I kissed his forehead one more time. “Good night, Creed.”

Half an hour later I was back in my apartment, crawling into my lonely bed. I got underneath my log cabin quilt and wondered what the hell I was doing there. For days I’d been in agony over the possibility of losing Creedence. I’d confronted my feelings for him and realized they were much stronger than I’d ever wanted them to be. So why in the hell wasn’t I at his side?

I sat up in the dark and swung my legs over the side of the bed. After carefully pulling my shirt off I touched my stomach. It never felt quite the same after the baby. It always felt loose and empty. Sometimes I would dream about the confusing months of my pregnancy and swear that tiny girl had never left my body. Maybe it was the same for every woman who ever carried a child.

I should have known Creed Gentry wouldn’t be shocked by anything I could tell him.

“I want to be the kind of man who deserves you.”

“I want to deserve you too,” I said out loud in the darkness. I swiped at my eyes, trying to get it together. There shouldn’t be anything puzzling about this. Creed was everything I’d long ago stopped hoping for. He wasn’t perfect. Neither was I. But we were far more than two bodies crashing together.

My eyes were suddenly heavy. I settled on top of the quilt and closed them, feeling more at ease than I had in a while.

I knew exactly what needed to be sorted out.





CHAPTER THIRTY TWO


CREED



Seventeen stitches. Bruised ribs. Sprained knee.

I was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.

Cord and Chase were intent on helping me. They tried to half carry my ass through the door until I swatted them away with my crutches. The dawn was just breaking as we left the hospital and drove home. Saylor squeezed into the back row with me for the short drive.

She leaned over. “You sure you don’t want some of the pain meds?”

“No,” I said flatly. “And Say, do like I asked and get rid of that shit.”

She patted my shoulder. “You got it.”

Cord complained he was starving so he stopped at a McDonald’s drive thru. He parked the truck and the four of us sat there opening up Egg McMuffins. It was just about the best thing I’d ever eaten.

“So what now?” Cord was looking at me in the rearview mirror.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. I poked at my knee. The doctor had said nothing was torn and surgery was unlikely but I wouldn’t be running marathons anytime soon. “Guess I can kiss my security job goodbye.”

“Ah,” Chase waved a hand. “They’ll take you back when you can walk upright again.” He balled up his sandwich wrapper and stuffed it in a bag. “Can’t f*cking believe you gave all that cash away.”

I swallowed a bite. “This shit needs to be over, really over. That means blood money is off limits.” I’d spent my whole life barely scraping by but I didn’t want any part of that kind of reward.

“You could have at least kept enough for the hospital bill.”

“It’ll be all right, Chase.”

My brother swiveled around to look at me. “I’m just being a dick. It was nice, what you did.”

“It was,” Saylor agreed quietly.

I hadn’t been able to get Emilio out of my head. He might not have been such a bad guy, just a man who got on the wrong side of life and couldn’t quite find his way back. I’d asked Declan to use his resources to track Emilio’s family down and give them the cash Gabe had thrown at me.

When we got home I had to beat my brothers’ helping hands away again. When I limped to the living room and sprawled on the couch Saylor actually tried to cover me with a blanket.

“Seriously?” I asked her.

“Let her do it,” Chase argued. “She’s nesting.”

Saylor made a face at him and then gave me a serious look as Cord put his arm around her. Her eyes were watery. “Creed, I’m all jacked up with hormones but I’m damn happy your ornery ass is home.”

“After all,” Cord chimed in, “we’ll be needing you to sing at the wedding.”

“I’d be honored,” I said. I meant it.

Saylor was exhausted. “You coming?” she asked Cord as she headed to their room.

“Soon,” he told her.

However his eyes were on me as Saylor closed the door to the bedroom.

I glanced pointedly over to where Chase was rooting around in the kitchen cabinets. I nodded. This couldn’t wait anymore.

“Chasyn,” Cord called. “Come on over here.”

He slammed the cabinet. “I thought we had some pretzels left.”

“I ate ‘em all. I’ll get you some more later. Just come over here and sit with us a minute.”

Chase sank slowly into the ratty armchair in the corner of the room. Cord sat on the couch beside me. Chase being Chase, twice as smart as either of us, could tell something was up. He leaned forward in the chair and watched us warily.

Cordero pulled something out of his pocket. It was a glossy brochure. “I did some asking around at the hospital. There’s an outpatient program just down the road a ways for folks trying to kick a habit.”

Chase’s eyes narrowed. He wasn’t going to let us get away with being vague. “What kind of habit, Cord?”