Risk (Gentry Boys #2)(73)

I stopped when I thought I heard a faint knock on the door. Then I heard it again, a little more insistent. When I opened it, Saylor was standing on the other side.

“Figured you could use come company,” she told me, sinking into the couch with a sigh.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

She grinned. “Aren’t you?” She noticed the sewing machine in the living room. “Are you keeping it there?”

“You knew he was getting it?”

Saylor paused. “Yes.”

I sat next to her on the couch. “So how are things in Gentry Land?”

“Pretty grim, Tallulah. I’m not very good at artificial cheer.” She rested her elbows on her knees and sighed. “Cord went to work and Chase went to class but they’ll both be back before five. Creed and Declan took off together, probably to go get keyed up at the gym.” She turned her sad green eyes on me. “How are you?”

I exhaled shakily. “I’ve been better, sugar.”

“He was here last night, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love him, Truly?”

“I don’t know.”

Liar.

Saylor gave me a shrewd look. “It’s not a calculus question, sweetie. You don’t have to tell me, but you definitely know.”

“How did you know? With Cord?”

She shrugged as if she thought the question was strange. “I just did.”

“But it was so soon with you guys.”

“It was,” she smiled. “Cynics would argue it was too soon.”

“Would you argue back?”

“No. I would keep my mouth shut and pity the shit out of them. Cynicism has no place in love. Its existence doesn’t need to be examined by people who are too lost to recognize it.”

I gave a short laugh. “That’s some flowery prose there, Miss McCann.”

“You are correct. I should write it down and somehow insert it into my book. Do you have a pen?”

Saylor was a good friend. She stayed by my side for hours and we were able to laugh together even when the world was nuts. I was reminded of a particular childhood Christmas. There nothing waiting for the four of us when we awoke that morning and Laura felt bad. Then she suddenly grinned wide and started tickling each of us. We began laughing and tickling each other, rolling around on the floor and howling with laughter, completely forgetting our disappointment. Laura looked at us with satisfaction and loudly proclaimed that there was no better gift than laughter. It was one of the only useful things she had ever said. It seemed she just forgot her own words somewhere along the way.

Saylor’s mood changed when she got ready to leave. “You coming over tonight?” She pushed her long hair behind her ears. “They’re leaving about eight. Cord won’t let me go. Bray and Millie are coming over so we can watch the clock together.”

“No,” I shook my head. “Think I’ll watch the clock from here.”

Saylor hugged me. “It’ll be okay, Truly. I just know it. It has to be.”

I didn’t want to kill my friend’s optimism but my thoughts were in a bad place as I closed the door behind her.

No, Saylor. It doesn’t have to be okay.





CHAPTER THIRTY


CREED



“You ready?”

“I’m ready.”

Chase had been the one to stick his head outside and ask me the question. I stood up. It was dark out and the air was pleasant. I’d been sitting alone on the patio for the last half hour, only halfway listening to them all in the apartment. Bray and Millie had arrived and they were going to stick around to hang out with Saylor while we were gone. The other half of me was listening to the memory of Truly’s voice one fine morning as she sang softly to herself. I’d conjured up that moment so many times since then.

I’m NOT ready, brother.

The apartment seemed too brightly lit. Everyone looked at me as soon I stepped inside. Truly wasn’t there. I would have liked to hold her one more time but then I might not have been able to let go.

Say’s cousin, Brayden, came right up to me and shook my hand. He squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll see you later, buddy.”

Then Millie, Bray’s girlfriend, gave me a brief hug. She didn’t say anything. She just looked at me sadly and then retreated to stand next to Brayden.

Saylor McCann was determined not to cry. She held her head up and gave me a stubborn stare. It was how I remembered her from years ago, when she would march past us with her proud nose in the air, letting us know she damn well wasn’t going to fall in love with the Gentry boys like every other stupid girl in Emblem. The thought made me smile.

“Bye, Saylor,” I whispered and her face collapsed as she grabbed me in a fierce hug.

I hugged her back, noting the feel of her still-flat stomach where she carried my brother’s baby. That baby was my niece or nephew, a child I would have given anything to protect from the world, as I would do anything to protect its father. Saylor kissed me on the cheek and I pulled away because it was too much and I was going to lose my shit.

Declan held the door for us and we filed out. Cord was ahead of me and Chase was behind. Deck wanted to ride his bike so the three of us climbed into our crappy pickup one more time. Cord got behind the wheel and I climbed in the passenger seat while Chase sat in the back. We opened up the windows and let the roar of the night air kill the silence. I watched the lights of Phoenix grow closer and tried to push away thoughts of Truly. It wasn’t because I didn’t want her. But she was a miserable reminder of what I might be leaving behind.