Rise of Fire (Reign of Shadows #2)(56)

As for Luna marrying Chasan, that wasn’t going to happen. I reached for her hand near mine and gave it a squeeze, silently communicating that. Considering our escape attempt had just been foiled, we’d have to come up with a new strategy.

I wasn’t giving up.

Fortunately, we didn’t pass anyone in the hall as we returned to our rooms. Firelight flickered from the sconces lining the corridor, casting long, crawling shadows as we walked. We deposited Luna at her chamber first.

I longed to stay, talk to her, hold her, but with Chasan hovering and morning looming close when everyone would wake, it was too risky. Instead, I hugged her close before letting her go, inhaling her, pressing my mouth into her hair and whispering, “I’ll come to you. Don’t worry. We’ll figure another way out of here.”

She nodded once, her face downcast, the dark short spikes of her hair angling at a slant that obscured her cheeks. She slipped inside her chamber. The door clicked shut after her, and I felt that small sound resound inside me.

With a single hard glance at Chasan, I continued on toward my chamber. I knew his room was in the opposite direction, but he fell in step beside me. “You’re not being fair to her.”

I shook my head. “What are you talking about?”

“Let her go.”

I snorted. “So you can have her?”

“If you let her go, she could be happy with me.”

“You think so?” I released a short, harsh laugh. “You don’t know the first thing about her.”

“I know Luna.” He nodded so knowingly, so smugly, that I wanted to take another swing at his face.

“Apparently not, or you would know she could never be happy here.” I motioned around us. “This place isn’t for her.”

“And out there is? How many times has she nearly died out there with you? In here she would never have to see another dweller again.”

“She’d just have to marry you to have all of that.”

“And that’s what’s really bothering you. Luna with me.”

I stopped and faced him. “Oh, it’s bothering her, too. Trust in that.” I jerked my chin once. “Knowing it’s me she wants, me she thinks about every time you’re with her? That’s something you could live with?”

Chasan crossed his arms, that smug smile back in place. “I can make her forget you. I can make her happy. Eventually.”

Fear stirred in my heart. Fear that he was right. I opened and closed my hands at my sides. “Not happening,” I said with far more conviction than I felt.

“You might try not being such a selfish bastard. Start thinking about her. I know you don’t give a damn about Lagonia, but you should care about Relhok. Think about your country. According to Breslen, things aren’t so great back there.” His sigh rattled on the air. “Our fathers won’t rule forever. If Luna marries me and you marry my sister, the two kingdoms unite. We present a stronger front.”

I wanted to say I didn’t give a damn about Relhok, but then I saw Bethan’s face. Her parents and little brother. All the people I had known in Relhok who weren’t terrible. Those people deserved better. Luna would agree with that, too. She always put others before herself.

Maybe I needed to try to do the same.

The following night the hall was bustling, nobility and gentry alike in full attendance. The hounds trotted amid tables, happily gobbling up the scraps tossed their way, growling and snapping when they got in each other’s way. Only here did people turn their noses up at food while the peasants of Ainswind rooted for their next meal in the scraps tossed to them after the king and his court dined.

I moved stiffly, still sore from yesterday’s fight with Chasan. The only thing that made me feel better was that he looked much the same as I did.

I dodged a dog the size of a bear as I escorted Maris to the head table upon the dais, my stiffness not solely because of my soreness. It felt unnatural touching Maris and pretending that I didn’t want to snatch Luna up into my arms.

I didn’t need to look to feel Chasan’s gaze on me. The threat was there. He wanted to finish what we started Outside. He could, too. He could end Luna and me with one word to his father. The knowledge held me in careful check. A second escape wouldn’t be easy. Chasan would be expecting it, but it would happen. It had to.

Maris preened, resplendent in a blue gown that made me remember my last glimpse of the sky before everything went dark.

Clinging to my arm, she greeted friends who called out to her and stared after her with greedy eyes. I suppose a measure of this was due to the gold crown woven into her hair. The headpiece matched her glittering strands. That crown marked her above everyone else. I vaguely remembered what it felt like to be admired, to feel as though anything could be yours because generally it was. I had felt invincible.

It had been an illusion. Losing Bethan wasn’t the first hint, but it was the one that pushed me out, made me rush headlong into a world teeming with monsters, because that was real at least. And I wanted reality over illusions.

My gaze drifted down the table to where Luna sat. She’d become my reality.

Tebald was already sitting at the helm of the head table. He nodded at me in lofty regard. My gaze moved back to Luna sitting beside Chasan. I assessed them briefly, even though it physically pained me. The vision imprinted itself on my mind: Luna dazzling in a red gown, her shoulders and throat bare, her dark hair pulled up, studded with jewels. She looked as she should look—as she was born to look. She looked like a queen: achingly lovely but impossible to touch. Except for Chasan. He could touch her and hold her arm as they walked. He could brush his fingers over her hand. It made me gnash my teeth.