Rise of Fire (Reign of Shadows #2)(44)

“You could say that.”

“Oh.” She shrugged, clearly unbothered. The girl didn’t understand danger. “I just wanted to see you and say hello. Hello.” She greeted me as though she wasn’t standing in her nightgown in my chamber in the middle of the night, her hair loose and flowing all around her.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded. “You should be in bed.”

She looked me up and down, not missing my rigidity. Those wide eyes of her blinked. “Would you really have struck me?”

I ignored the question. “What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” I clarified as though that would help get me an explanation. It wasn’t seemly. We’d never been alone. She shouldn’t be coming to my chamber without a chaperone.

“Were you already awake or did I wake you?” she asked, breathless, her gaze moving from my face and down, lingering on my bare chest. “I was hoping to wake you . . . surprise you, actually.”

I eyed her nightgown with its frills and flounces, wondering precisely what kind of surprise she had planned. Shaking my head, I told myself it didn’t matter. She could be naked in front of me and it wouldn’t matter. Her virtue was safe from me.

I looked over her shoulder, searching the shadows of the corridor behind her. “Did you hear anything? A sound?”

She dragged her bright blue eyes from my chest back to my face. “I’m sure it was nothing. It’s an old castle. The stone makes sounds sometimes. Or perhaps it was the wind.”

“It wasn’t stone settling or the wind. It sounded far away, but it was in the castle. Here in these walls.”

She shook her head slightly, an emotion edging into her eyes that was at odds with her usual exuberance. “It was probably Cook butchering a hog.”

I studied her, watching her smooth throat work to swallow. She was lying. “It wasn’t a hog.”

She shifted on her feet and glanced over her shoulder, looking uneasy. “Sometimes others stay up late carousing in private chambers. We all need our amusements.”

I stepped closer, not above using my nearness to manipulate her. She had used every opportunity to touch me. I usually edged away, but this time I gave her what she wanted.

Life at court could be as tricky and dangerous as life on the Outside, and manipulation wasn’t an unfamiliar practice. Pandering favor often determined fates. I knew that from being a part of my father’s household. It would be no different here. For me, it was probably worse. At any time, for any reason, I could lose favor with the king, if I truly even had it. I might be betrothed to Princess Maris, but that would not keep me from getting my throat cut if Tebald so chose.

I brushed a silky blond lock of hair off her shoulder. She released a tiny gasp, leaning into my touch. “Why are you lying to me, Maris?” I whispered. “Clever girl like you, you know everything that goes on in this castle.”

Her lips worked before speech found her. “There are all kinds of things you hear at night in this castle. Best to ignore them.”

“Tell me, Maris.”

“Don’t go snooping around, Fowler.” For the first time she didn’t look so much like a little girl. She looked nervous. I dropped my hand, suddenly feeling wrong about touching her and using her feelings.

She leaned forward like she wanted to chase that hand. “Go back to bed, Maris,” I ordered. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“And why shouldn’t I?” She took a step forward, until our bodies practically touched. “We’re to be married. What’s wrong with us being together now?”

By that logic, nothing. Nothing was wrong with it.

Except we wouldn’t marry.

Very soon, she would wake up and I would be gone. Contrary to what I told Tebald, I wasn’t about to live out my father’s plans and wed Maris.

She pressed a fingertip above my heart and trailed it down my chest. Emotion burned in her eyes as she gazed at me. I couldn’t take what she was offering me. I wouldn’t be that big of a bastard. Life was hard, full of disappointment and loss. She hadn’t experienced much yet, but she would. I’d rather not be the one to deliver her that education.

I set my hands on her shoulders and moved her back from me, setting her very deliberately outside my bedchamber door. “Go to your chamber, Maris.”

Something sparkled in her eyes that should have warned me. Defiance? Determination. She stood on her tiptoes and circled one hand around my neck. Leaning forward, she clumsily pressed her lips to mine.

I placed my hands on her arms and gently tried to push her away from me. She clung, her hand tightening on my neck and her lips mashing harder to mine with a mewl of determination. My eyes were still open as I struggled to break the kiss in the most sensitive way possible. I didn’t need to overly wound her ego. The last thing I wanted to do was to send her crying to her father about me. Tebald already didn’t trust me. One look in his eyes and I knew that, but I needed him to think I was agreeable to this marriage. I needed Maris on my side. At least until I was gone . . . and then I wouldn’t care.

From the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of movement. With a little more urgency, I gave a final push and set Maris away from me to look down the corridor. Luna and a guard stood a few yards away.

The guard chuckled, looking us up and down with a lecherous grin. “Getting a head start on the wedding night, eh?”