Ride Steady (Chaos, #3)(99)

It was a text from Tyra that read Don’t worry. I’m on it.

Oh no.

I wasn’t sure that was a good thing.

I didn’t text back but got another bing when I was idling, waiting for Tyra’s garage door to open (the house even had a garage with a remote opener—I mean, could it get better?).

I drove in and parked, but before I got out of the car, I looked at the text and saw it was from Elvira.

It read Tyra called. We’re sorting shit. Give me a few days.

This meant giving her boss, who from what I could tell was a private eye or something, a few days. Elvira, I knew because she threatened it repeatedly on any occasion that warranted it (or didn’t), would drag him in.

What had I done?

I got out of my car feeling funny. Not feeling like I should feel knowing I was walking into a clean, safe, lovely house to a tall, handsome biker boyfriend (or at least I thought he was my boyfriend, it was early but we did spend a lot of time together) who was growing back his beard for me.

I walked in the back door expecting Joker to be at the stove (this being how accustomed I’d become to him taking care of me) only to find the kitchen empty.

I dumped my purse, started to move toward the living room/dining room area that ran along the front of the house, my mouth opening to call, just as Joker turned the corner and walked into the kitchen.

He was grinning at me.

I stopped and took him in.

Navy tee, faded jeans, heavy black boots, lengthy stubble, messy hair, so, so handsome.

“Hey, Butterfly.”

“I think I messed up again.”

He stopped dead because I blurted that out but also because he must have read something on my face since he was right then examining it closely.

“What’d you mess up?” he asked slowly.

I took in a deep breath and shared, “I’ll preface this by saying that I was upset.”

I stopped talking.

Joker didn’t say anything.

I kept going, “And I’ll also say that I’m very aware that you’re a man.”

His face got a little scary.

But he still remained silent.

“A manly man,” I went on.

His face got scarier.

“A manly man biker,” I kept at it.

“Jesus,” he bit off. “What’d you do?”

Oh well.

The faster the better, like pulling off a Band-Aid.

“I kinda went to Tack, and Hop, High, Hound, and Tyra were there, and I, well…” I paused then finished hurriedly, “Asked them where your dad lives.”

He looked to the ceiling.

“I was upset,” I reminded him.

He looked to me.

“He needs to pay,” I whispered.

“Yeah, Carrie, and how you gonna make him do that?”

That was a good question.

“I hadn’t gotten to that part of the plan yet,” I admitted.

“Right,” he stated, crossing his arms on his chest. “You do know that Tabby went behind Shy’s back and hired a private investigator to find the guy who murdered his parents.”

No. I didn’t know that. I didn’t even know Shy’s parents had been murdered.

How awful.

“That didn’t go down too good,” Joker continued to inform me.

Wonderful.

“Um… did the investigator find him?” I asked, curious for more than one reason, wondering if Tabby used Elvira’s boss.

“Yeah. And shit came to a head. They worked it out. But it was ugly.”

I pressed my lips together and felt my eyes go round.

Joker shook his head.

“Butterfly, you’re cute all the time, cuter some times more than others, and it’s f*cked up because right now you’re bein’ a pain in the ass and this is one of those times that you’re cuter. But you gotta get this so you can get over it. My old man doesn’t exist for me. I left him and that life behind, and I don’t want it back in any way it can come back.”

“He burned you,” I whispered.

“Yeah, Carrie, he burned me. I took it. I survived it. I got outta that shit. And he’s there. I know where he is. The same house. The same broads he’s bangin’ on the couch. The same beer he’s guzzling, vodka he’s shootin’. An empty life full of bitterness and anger at absolutely nothing. Every day I walk into that Compound knowin’ I got my patch, which means I got my brothers. Every day I walk into the garage knowin’ I got nothing on for my day but usin’ my hands and brain to create things I like. And now, with you a part of my life, every day I got somethin’ more. Somethin’ he’d never get. Somethin’ he couldn’t hold on to. Somethin’ he doesn’t have it in him to earn. I don’t know if my ma was a good woman. I do know she left his ass and left him empty. That is not me. I got brothers. I got work I dig. And now, I got you and your boy. He lives a life of pain. I don’t. I don’t need to expend effort to get revenge, to give him pain. All I got that he doesn’t is my revenge, baby.”

That was so huge, so profound, so smart, so amazing, coming from a man who I was beginning to think really, truly had no flaws (at all), and he was mine, I couldn’t hold it back.

“I think I might be falling in love with you,” I blurted and watched his face change to an expression I would have rushed to my phone to capture if I wasn’t captivated by it, not wanting to miss an instant.