Ride Steady(145)

He watched her expression go guarded even as pink slid into her cheeks, but pure Carissa, she still gave it to him.

“Sometimes, after, he’d give me the time.”

Fucking shit.

“Not during?”

“I didn’t… I wasn’t…” she swallowed. “You’re better.”

“No shit,” he returned. “But not once?”

She slid her hand up his back to between his shoulder blades. “What I mean is, you’re better with me. You, well… bring it out in me.”

He shook his head. “No, Carissa, you got it and you let it loose and give it to me. You had it with him. He just didn’t take care of that. Some guys are selfish and they’re all about their dicks. Trust me, you are a seriously hot f*ck. It takes almost no effort at all to read that and roll with it. The fact that motherf*cker didn’t even try to make that effort pisses me off.”

She looked confused.

Adorably confused.

But he was pissed at her f*cking ex, so seeing it, he found there was one time when her being adorable didn’t cut through his anger.

“I would… well, sweetheart, wouldn’t you actually like that you give me something he didn’t?” she asked.

“No, because it means you didn’t have it, for f*ckin’ years, which sucks for you, and I don’t like anything that sucks for you. Not to mention you keep beggin’ me not to stop, when no way I would until I got you there.”

Her face closed down and her voice was whipped when she said, “I’ll quit doing that.”

She took that wrong, so he pressed into the side of her head with one hand.

“No, Carrie. You do what comes natural. Not complainin’ that you beg ’cause you want me to keep at you. That’s hot too. Any man would want you naked, wet, panting, and begging for more. They’d be insane not to. That’s my point. Any man would be insane not to, and if they’re any man at all, they got that, they give it and not get off and sometimes give it back after. That shit’s f*cked. But in the now, I gotta know what I got on my hands. I thought I understood where that came from but now it’s certain. And it pisses me off.”

She started stroking his spine as she noted cautiously, “I think we both understand that Aaron wasn’t quite all that in a lot of ways.”

“Well, that one’s important,” he returned. “Then again, all of the ways you can take care of your woman are. He just didn’t do dick about any of them.”

He felt her body tighten then loosen almost immediately under him but he didn’t really register it.

He was focused.

And they had one more thing to go over.

“Now, Butterfly, get it right now I’m good anytime you want me to f*ck your cares away. But after I give you my dick, you gotta give me whatever it is you wanted me to f*ck away. An orgasm is a very good thing. Two of them are better. But they’ll never clear what’s f*ckin’ up your head.”

She stared into his eyes with easy-to-read shock that he’d cottoned on to that before her gaze slid to the side, then to his chin, and finally back to his when she said, “I want this to last.”

What the f*ck?

“I ain’t goin’ anywhere,” he growled.

She wrapped both arms around him and held tight.

“I know, sweetie. That’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s being nice to me. Giving me money. Showing at the door to take Travis. And you were only around to see the results of the last time he messed with me. I just started to get to the other side of that and now he’s changing tactics and I… I don’t…” She shook her head. “I don’t want to go through it again.”

There it was.

“And I don’t want to drag you through it with me,” she finished.

And there it all was.

“I’ll repeat, Carissa, I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“We’re new,” she told him.

“We’re solid,” he told her.

“I… you’re awesome.” Her voice suddenly was pitched louder. “Me? My messes? My baggage? My son? You took it all on. Men don’t do that. When will it be enough?”

He instantly realized his mistake.

No more head space for Carissa.

“Jesus, baby, where did this shit come from?” he asked.