Ride Hard (Raven Riders #1)(76)

Blinking fast to hold back the tears that she’d so far refused to let fall, Haven pushed herself into a sitting position against the wall. “I don’t even know where to start. But I know where it ends—with a freaking broken heart. And it’s my own fault.” She shook her head.

“Did he . . . did you want him to—”

“Yes, I wanted it. I wanted it all seven times, depending on whether you include oral sex as it.” Heat rushed into her cheeks.

Cora’s mouth dropped open, and her expression was almost comical. “Seven? Seven? Holy crap, Haven. He holed you away at his place for an overnight sex fest and then tells his guys you’re not important to him? That’s bullshit.”

Haven shrugged. It didn’t feel right to her either, but she’d heard the words. Plain as day.

“What did you say?”

“When?” Haven asked, confused.

“When he said that,” Cora said, anger making her cheeks pink.

“I didn’t say anything. Bunny had asked me to take him a plate of breakfast she’d saved, and I totally walked into his conversation. Phoenix and Maverick were there. It was clear that they all knew I’d overheard, so I just left as fast as I could.” God, just thinking back on it made Haven’s stomach turn.

“And he didn’t come after you?” Cora asked. Haven shook her head. “That *.”

Shaking her head, Haven’s thoughts whirled. “It’s not all his fault—”

“Haven,” Cora said, voice full of disapproval.

“No, listen. Hear me out. I told him about my list, and I asked him if he’d help me make parts of it come true. You know, the sex parts.” God, her face was on fire. “I’ve never felt safer with another man than I have with Dare. And I like him. So I just . . . kinda . . . went for it. And he agreed,” she said, leaving out the part about Dare having read her list already. As it was, Cora might never forgive Dare, and Haven didn’t want to be unfair to him in all this. Not after everything he’d done for them. And not when she was the one who’d let her emotions run away. He’d never promised her a thing. Heck, she knew he was sending her away when she asked him to take her. And that part of it? The sex parts? She didn’t regret that one bit. In fact, heartbreak aside, they were some of the best memories she had in her entire life.

Because Haven knew the difference between a touch that cherished and one that was indifferent or, worse, hurtful. Dare’s touch had cherished her. For a few short hours, she had been cherished.

Cora huffed out a breath. “I’m so sorry, Haven.”

“Me too. I don’t regret it, though. You know?” She peered up at her best friend.

“Well, I’m glad for that. Once we’re settled somewhere, you’re going to find your happy ending. You know it?” Cora’s smile was small but hopeful.

But Haven couldn’t see past leaving something she didn’t want to leave to feeling hopeful about the future. At least, not yet. Still, she managed “We both will.”

Nodding, Cora handed her the discarded pen and notebook. “But first we need names.”

“Okay,” Haven said, forcing herself to focus more this time. She thought about it. Really thought about it. Pushed through the sadness at having to give up her own name. Because she hadn’t realized how much a part of her own identity her name was—the only thing she had that her mother had given her—until she faced losing it. Although hadn’t she felt that way about her hair? And look how much she loved it now.

So. Right. Suck it up.

She tapped her pencil against the blank page.

“So, was it good?” Cora asked, eyes on her own list.

“Amazing,” Haven said, chest suddenly so full of emotion that it was hard to breathe. “The most amazing day and night of my life.” Something to be grateful for, even if it hurt like hell.

Which was when the idea came to her.

Gratitude. It was just one of the emotions she felt for Dare, and it was one he felt toward someone, too. His brother. Kyle.

So what about . . . Kylie?

Goose bumps broke out over her skin.

Dare had described him as tough, funny, generous, charming, loyal, and protective. Haven could do a whole lot worse than to name herself after someone like Kyle. And, in a way, she’d always carry a piece of Dare with her. That was kind of nice, too. And it wasn’t like she had a family of her own to memorialize in any way.

She wrote the name down on the page.

Kylie

The more she thought about it, the more she liked it. It was young and fun, and sounded like it should belong to a woman who hadn’t a care in the world. Haven would like to be those things, too.

She wrote it down again. Bigger this time.

Kylie

“I’m done,” Haven said, certainty easing a little of that tender discomfort in her chest.

“How can you be done already?” Cora asked, leaning over.

Haven showed her the page.

“Kylie.” Cora pressed her lips together as if considering, and then finally nodded. “That’s cute. That’s really cute. Like you. Totally fits.” An eyebrow arched at her. “How’d you come up with something so perfect so fast?”

“It just came to me,” Haven said. “And it feels right. Let’s see your list. What are you thinking?”