Ride Hard (Raven Riders #1)(22)
She gathered everything she needed for lemon-almond bars, which were great for breakfast or as a treat all day in case there weren’t a lot of guys here in the morning. As she added the dry ingredients to the butter mixture, her mind calmed enough to drift. Soon, she was thinking of the list she’d been working on when Dare joined her on the porch. As if their conversation hadn’t been awkward enough, Haven had been hyperaware of the fact that she’d been standing two feet from him holding a notebook full of firsts she wanted to experience, adventures she wanted to have, and goals she wanted to achieve.
Mortified wouldn’t begin to describe how she’d feel if anyone besides Cora read it. And she wasn’t even thrilled with Cora reading it. Not only did it make her feel really exposed, but it felt a lot like saying your birthday wish out loud. If Haven admitted her dreams to someone else, maybe they wouldn’t come true.
Haven put the crust in the oven to bake, then set about cleaning up and preparing to make the filling, her thoughts spinning around how Dare had talked to her before he’d stormed off the porch. The way he’d gotten up in her face should’ve scared her, but it hadn’t. Haven had liked it. That was hard to believe, but true. Besides Cora, Haven didn’t think she’d ever had another person so passionately defend her. And it had done strange things to her. For a heartbeat, she’d wanted to kiss him. Just thinking about it made her pulse race even now.
What would it be like for that harsh mouth to kiss her? For that gravelly voice to whisper into her ear in the dark? For those rough hands to touch her, skin on skin?
And what the heck would she do if Dare ever tried to do any of those things?
She wasn’t a virgin, but she wasn’t exactly experienced, either. She and Zach, her first real boyfriend, had loved each other. They’d been together for four months when they’d gotten caught in his truck at one of the river overlooks. She never learned how her father knew where they were, but the memory of him ripping open the driver’s door and finding her straddling Zach’s lap remained crystal clear in her head. That night had been the last she’d ever seen Zach, and it had been the real beginning of her father’s twisted need to control everything about her life—by whatever means it took to bend her to his will. First, by punishing her. Second, by forbidding her return to school. And third, by threatening to harm Zach if she ever saw him again. That had been nearly eight years ago. Eight years without a man’s touch—or, at least, without the touch of men she actually wanted.
Haven shook the whole train of thought away as she pulled the warm crust from the oven and poured the lemony filling into it.
It was a moot argument, of course, since there was no way Dare would think of her that way. He was older and world-wise and the leader of this club where all these people looked up to him—she saw it in how they interacted with him every day. Still, thinking about Dare was enough fun that he’d inspired a whole section of her list. After all, being inexperienced and sheltered didn’t mean she was an angel. She wanted to experience all kinds of things. She wanted to feel something good. And maybe now that she was free she could.
Finally, it was time for the third and final layer of the bars—the crumbly almond topping. She sprinkled the crumbles over the whole baking dish and slid it back in the oven one last time. The kitchen smelled sugary sweet and just a little tart. It made her mouth water.
By the time the bars were done, cooled, and ready to be cut into squares, it was close to dawn. Haven took one for herself and moaned as the creamy-and-crunchy sweetness of the bar filled her mouth. So dang good.
She enjoyed the Ravens’ kitchen so much she almost regretted that at some point she and Cora would have to leave. Hopefully that wouldn’t be for some time. Her gaze ran over the room for a moment. Number one on her list remained having an amazing kitchen of her own someday. That wouldn’t excite a lot of people and it sure as heck wouldn’t make most people’s must-do/must-have lists, but Haven would gladly forego the rest of the house to have a killer kitchen of her own.
She flicked the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.
If they were really safe, maybe she could finally start believing her dreams might come true.
BY FRIDAY MORNING, Haven felt stupid for ever contemplating kissing Dare. He’d avoided her all week, and she didn’t think she was imagining it. One day he’d come onto the back porch while she was sitting out there and promptly turned around without a word. Another time he’d come into the kitchen while she and Cora were helping Bunny with something, and he’d never acknowledged or even looked at Haven the whole time he was there. And when she’d belatedly come down to dinner the night before, Dare excused himself from the table not long after she sat down. Granted, it wasn’t like they were friends or anything, but it had seemed from the couple of interactions they’d had that he at least cared about her, so it didn’t feel like she was blowing any of this out of proportion.
Not that it mattered, she guessed. Obviously, he didn’t owe her anything. Just the opposite, in fact—she owed him and the Ravens everything.
Like the full truth about the reward?
Lying on her bed with her notebook open in front of her, Haven tapped her pen against her lips. Yeah, probably.
Just then, Cora knocked on the door and came in. “I’m here on serious business,” she said, stretching out beside Haven, who scooted over to make room.