Release!: A Walker Brothers Novel (The Walker Brothers #1)(41)
Dane shrugged. “Who else is going to have me? I wanted to get laid, and she was willing to suffer through it if I gave her enough to make up for the inconvenience. I don’t have any fantasies that she cares about anything more than money. She never has.”
There was some bitterness in Dane’s voice, but I was relieved that he wasn’t going to be heartbroken when Britney decided it was time to leave. In fact, it was more than likely that Dane would get tired of her whining and ask her to leave himself.
Sebastian flopped back onto the couch with a full glass. “Dude, no offense, but Britney is annoying as hell, even if she is a fine looking woman.”
I smiled, realizing that Sebastian had finally seen through Britney’s blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes, discovering that there was nothing inside to match the beauty of her exterior.
Dane shrugged. “No offense taken. She’s a raving bitch, and I know it. I think I’m starting to prefer being lonely to having her around.” He turned his head. “Is that what happened with you two, Trace?”
I nearly choked on my drink. Fuck! He knows.
“What?” I lowered my drink from my mouth with a cough.
“Did you get sick of her, too? Is that why you dumped her?”
I let out a huge breath. “How did you know I dated her?”
Dane’s lips smiled, but his eyes were sad. “I might live on an island, but I do get the media. I made sure you and Britney were done before I allowed her to come to the island. I felt kind of bad picking up with a female my brother had broken up with, but it isn’t like I have a huge variety of women to choose from. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I said in a rush. “It wasn’t serious between us.”
He nodded. “I know.”
I shook my head at the irony that I was trying to protect Dane while he’d been sorry he’d dated a woman I’d been with in the past.
“I didn’t know you dated Britney.” Sebastian sounded pissed. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Maybe because I never catch you sober enough to mention it.” My tone was sarcastic and accusing. I regretted saying the words almost immediately, but I couldn’t take them back. In reality, I’d deliberately avoided telling Sebastian the truth.
I watched as Sebastian’s face went dark, and he took a large swig of his full drink. “At least I don’t have a stick up my ass the size of a giant redwood,” he mumbled bitterly. “I’m sorry that I’m not as perfect as you are, brother.”
I didn’t consider myself that uptight. “I’m not asking you to be perfect. I’m just asking you to try to be better. Stop partying all the time for a living.”
“I don’t need to make a living. I’m a billionaire. You took Dad’s place, so what do you expect me to do?”
“You went to college, Sebastian. I expect you to grow up.” I was angry now, sick of him criticizing me for something that I had to do.
“Why? I’ll never measure up to your expectations. Why try?”
“I don’t have expectations. I’m not Dad.”
I looked at Dane, but he didn’t look ready to jump into the conversation. In fact, he looked perfectly happy to let me fight this out with Sebastian.
“Then quit acting like Dad,” Sebastian answered bitterly.
My anger started to boil. “I can never be him. I never could. I f*cking tried, but I could never be quite as smooth. I could never be quite as wise, and I sure as hell will never run Walker as well as he did.”
“You do amazingly well, Trace,” Dane said encouragingly, finally deciding to enter the conversation. “You were young when you took over the company.”
“I took it over because I had to. I was the only one old enough to do it. I thought I was the only one who wanted to do it.” I glared at Sebastian. “If you wanted to take on that responsibility, why in the hell didn’t you say something?”
“Why didn’t you ask?” he threw back at me angrily.
I exploded. “Do you think I f*cking wanted this? Do you think I wanted to step into Dad’s shoes after he died? I was only twenty-one years old, and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I was stumbling in the dark, trying to finish school while I tried to do his job as the CEO of Walker. I. Wasn’t. Fucking. Ready.”
I didn’t think I’d ever say those words, much less to my brothers. But we were all grown up, and the time for distance between us had to end. We were all broken, and I wanted to see us back in one piece again.
“I’m not that much younger than you. I could have helped,” Sebastian broke the silence, his voice no longer angry.
“All I wanted was for you and Dane to have a chance to grieve, a chance to recover and lead a normal life.” I knew I was breathing hard, trying to get my emotions under control.
“Our life was never going to be normal again,” Dane answered gravely. “I guess we both thought you wanted your position as CEO and you wanted us out of the family business. I was relieved to tell you the truth. I didn’t want to be a businessman. It was never something I wanted.”
I knew that. I thought Sebastian wanted something else, too. I stared at my second oldest sibling thoughtfully as I asked, “And you? What did you want?”