Redneck Romeo (Rough Riders #15)(125)

“Oh, that bastard knew very well that I never screwed around on him. He never doubted you were his kid, but he made you doubt it and that’s where he got that sense of power. After all the shit you’d been through the week you called off the wedding, Casper knew he could say whatever the hell he wanted to you and you wouldn’t tell anyone, just like you’d kept quiet on the abuse.” She knocked back a slug of scotch. “I confronted him about that, you know.”


“No, I didn’t know,” he said evenly. “When?”


She stared into her cup. “A few months after I started seeing a counselor. She told me I needed to face him head on so I could deal with my guilt and place the blame where it belonged; on him. So I showed up at his church one Sunday morning. Hoo-boy was he shocked to see me. More flustered than I’d ever seen him. He did not want me hanging around chatting up his new churchy friends.”


He couldn’t even smile.


“I asked him out for coffee. I think he would’ve agreed to anything to get me out of his little religious sanctuary. In the restaurant I let fly with everything I had. My disgust for him, for everything he’d done to you. And do you wanna know what that sonuvabitch said to me?” Her haunted eyes met her son’s. “If I’d been a better mother I would’ve known. He knew exactly what’d cut me the deepest and he did it without blinking.”


“I hope you punched him.”


His mom reached out and squeezed his knee. “No, but I did lose my temper. He laughed and claimed you hadn’t told anyone about it until you were an adult because then you could exaggerate the past events to make people feel sorry for you and hate him.” She squeezed his knee again. “That’s when I realized he was afraid people would believe you. Imagine his shock when I told him since he’d spoken so highly of his minister, I intended to ask for his help in learning to find forgiveness.”



Now that made Dalton smile. “You didn’t.”


“I did. He lost his mind and the restaurant manager had to intervene. I left. I let Casper stew on that for a few weeks. Petty thing to do, but it gave me a sense of satisfaction and I was able to overcome a few blocks I had with the situation. I did show up at his church a couple times a year, just to be ornery, just to watch him squirm.”


“God, Ma. I love you.”


She smiled. “Good to hear. So you might think after Tell told me this last bullshit manipulative lie your father spewed I would’ve confronted him. But this time I didn’t.”


“Why not?”


“Because that’s what the man wanted and I wouldn’t give him the pleasure. You didn’t give it to him either. Isn’t it pathetic he’s been waiting over three years for the fallout to begin? He died disappointed and alone and maybe it makes me a horrible human being to say this, but I can’t think of any man who deserves it more.”


Dalton watched her chin tremble and he picked up her hand. “But?”


“But as much as I hate him and what he’s done, if not for him…I wouldn’t have my sons. My wonderful sons. You boys are the light in my life and living proof that genes don’t matter. You’re all fine examples of good men, and that’s a miracle to me because you didn’t have that example growing up. You became who you are in spite of your genes and I couldn’t be prouder.” She sniffled. “And today, I couldn’t be sadder that your father died without really knowing any of you. Really sad because that was his choice.”


They stayed like that for a while. Not speaking, just holding hands, lost in their own thoughts.


Finally Dalton said, “Were you with Brandt and Tell tonight?”


“For a little while.”


“How are they?”


“Surrounded by their wives and kids.”


“They’re lucky.” He shook his head and drained his booze, shoving the glass aside. “Not lucky. They worked to have the lives they’ve got. I’m happy for them.”


“There’s room for you in all their lives. In mine too. We missed you, but we’re all very glad you’re back home.” She stood. Wobbled. Laughed and sat back down. “I think I’ve had a little too much.”


“Probably. You oughten be drivin’. Where are you staying tonight?”


His mom looked confused. “Hadn’t really thought about it.”


“So crash here. I’d like the company.”


Tears swam in her eyes. “I’d like that too.”


Dalton picked up the bottle of booze. “But we’re putting a lid on the truth serum.”


She stretched out on the couch.


“Ma. I don’t expect you to sleep on the couch. You can have my bed.”


“I’m fine here. I prefer it actually. That way when I can’t sleep I’ll have more room to pace.”


He probably wouldn’t sleep much either.


After he’d brought her a pillow and a blanket, she asked, “Did the truth set you free?”


“No. But it hasn’t weighed me down, either.”