Redeemed (Dirty Air #4)(68)

She smooths the lapel of my tux, distracting me with the warmth of her palm. Her other hand palms my dick again.

I shudder, unable to control my body’s response to her touch. “I told you tonight isn’t about me.”

“Please?”

Fuck. The way she whispers the word has my dick throbbing beneath her hand. Only this girl would ask for the opportunity to suck my cock. Any rational thought leaves my head as her palm moves up and down my length.

I press my hand against hers, halting the motion. “One condition.”

“What is it?” Her voice hints at her excitement, and the sound sends another rush of heat through my chest.

“The lights have to be off.”

She abandons my erection and fumbles for my phone, shutting off the flashlight in no time.

Darkness hides everything I’m desperate to keep from Chloe in an intimate moment. Nothing says mood killer quite like an up-close view of my stump.

I’m just...not ready for that yet. If I could hide in the shadows during sex for the rest of my life, I would.

Chloe presses a soft kiss against my lips, gaining my attention. “I’m granting your one request because I crave this more than I want to push your boundaries. Don’t count yourself free of your fears yet,” she whispers, her voice carrying a rasp I find beyond sexy.

I lean against the wall, wishing I could see her on her knees in front of me. Instead of allowing myself the real deal, I imagine it like a vivid dream in my head.

Her hands fumble with my trousers. The desperation in her touch has me groaning up to the ceiling.

She releases my dick from my boxer briefs and rubs her thumb across the tip, collecting my arousal.

I clutch onto the handlebar as her tongue replaces her thumb, flicking across my tip. “Shit.”

Chloe teases before the warmth of her mouth surrounds my cock. She works me into submission, switching between sucking me off and running her tongue along my shaft. It’s the best kind of torture. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt anything quite as amazing as her mouth on me.

Whatever noises escape my mouth encourage her, and her movements grow sloppier. My breath comes out in pants. A sudden surge of energy shoots down my spine as my world spins.

Chloe doesn’t heed my warning when I tell her I’m about to come. A fire spreads through my veins as I erupt. She swallows my release, not breaking away until I stop shuddering.

God. I thought I liked her, but now I’m not sure what to make of the feelings swirling in my chest. It’s nothing like I’ve ever experienced before, and I can’t exactly dissect them. It seems like more. Chloe tucks my dick back into my briefs and helps button my trousers.

She rises without my help, and I tug her into a kiss. It’s soft, with our lips faintly touching. But somehow, it seems like way more than a simple peck. It feels like she just destroyed the world I created for myself, and I’m not sure what to do about it. How can I ever go back to the person I was before Chloe entered the picture? And most of all, I don’t think I want to.

“Thank you,” my voice rasps. Thank you? What the actual hell. Good God, she sucked your dick, man. You’re acting like she treated you to coffee.

Chloe laughs in a way that has the anxiety melting off my body. “You’re welcome.” She pats my chest.

“I can’t wait to get out of this damn elevator and fuck you tonight.”

She freezes in my arms. “No.” Her voice is faint enough for me to misunderstand her meaning.

“Huh?”

“No.” She speaks with more strength the second time around. Warmth seeps away as she steps out of my arms, adding to the distance between us.

“Why not?”

“I can’t have sex with you.”

“Then what do you call the thing we just did?”

“Something amazing.”

I’m absolutely baffled. She has my mind spinning.

She continues. “It was incredible—for me at least. But I don’t want to have sex until you’re ready to reveal yourself to me. And I mean all of you.”

My heart rate escalates. “Why?” Reality crashes back down around me.

“Because sex isn’t something I’m ashamed about, but it’s clear you don’t feel the same way about yourself.”

“This is who I am. Take it or leave it.” I grind my molars.

“That’s the thing. I do see who you are, and I want to take it. The real question is if you really are ready for something like that.”

Chloe has caught me in her spell. But I don’t know how I can go about accepting the version of myself she sees.

Silence surrounds us, accompanied by the shadows. We both sit on opposite sides of the car, our legs grazing one another. My skin itches as the emotional gap between us widens.

I don’t want that. Not in the slightest.

“Chloe?”

“Mmm.”

“Why are you afraid of small spaces?”

If we were outside, I imagine crickets would fill the silence. She says nothing, and I consider dropping it.

“When I was little, my mom used to lock me inside of my bedroom when her visitors came over.”

What the actual fuck?

She prattles on, not realizing my disgust. “My room wasn’t big since we were poor. Honestly, it was more of a closet than a room in the first place.” She laughs, but it comes off insincere. “But it was a safe place if my mom had whatever boyfriend of the time over, getting high and doing other things. Even as a young kid I knew what was going on because kids at school would talk. Turns out she didn’t have the best reputation. So, anyway, my mom didn’t want me to get in the way, so she would lock me inside my room until she was done.”