Reclaiming the Sand(24)

It scared me shitless.

Flynn’s eyes that had been shadowed and dark flickered my way and met mine for an instant. A flash of understanding arched out between us. Awareness that I had thought dead and buried under the mountain of our past.

“Thanks,” Flynn responded, his voice cracking on the one, simple word.

We stood silent. Locked in place by the weight of a thousand memories and words unspoken.

I wasn’t quite sober enough for the heaviness of the moment. It was overwhelming me. I thought I would suffocate in the tension.

“Did you do the work on the house?” I asked him, not knowing what else to say. I should probably just leave but for some reason, I couldn’t make my feet travel back the way they had come.

I didn’t want to go backwards.

Flynn nodded and looked back up at the house. I remembered that the shutters had once been yellow. I recalled flowerbeds overrun with blossoms and an apple tree laden down with fruit. His mother’s banana bread and hot cider on a cold fall night.

These memories slammed into me with the force of a wrecking ball. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about any of this in years.

But being here, with Flynn, it came flooding back whether I wanted it to or not.

“Do you want to come inside?” Flynn asked me and I shook my head. I couldn’t go in there. Definitely not now.

Taking my refusal at face value, Flynn didn’t argue, he didn’t even comment. Instead he sat down on a small bench and watched me while I raged internally.

There was always something so easy about being with Flynn. Even as I was embroiled in resentment and age-old bitterness, I couldn’t deny the effortlessness in which we were together.

An ocean of time separated us from the kids we once were together, yet I was surprised to find those people still there, beneath the surface.

“I planted some flowers. The ones you liked are there. The yellow ones with the black center,” Flynn said suddenly, breaking the quiet. I blinked in confusion.

What was he talking about?

“You used to pick them on the way home. They grew by the road near the bridge. You would wrap the stems together and then throw them in the water. You said they were too pretty. They were your favorites.” He seemed to be reciting from a book, his sentences monotone and fluid.

How the hell did he remember all this shit about me? Whereas I had made a conscientious effort to forget, it seemed Flynn’s memories were as vivid as ever. I didn’t know what to do with that.

“Black Eyed Susans,” I said softly, rubbing my temples, my head throbbing.

“That’s a stupid name,” Flynn replied.

I barked out a laugh. I couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, it’s a stupid f*cking name,” I agreed tiredly.

“You shouldn’t cuss like that,” he admonished. He had always hated when I swore. Yet another ridiculous detail that had gotten stuck in my head.

Flynn got up and disappeared around the side of the building and I wondered if he had gone back inside. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had left me without another word. Flynn wasn’t one for things like closure. He was abrupt and final.

But he came back a few minutes later with a handful of yellow flowers. He held them out toward me. “Here. These are for you,” he said, handing me the bouquet an impatient shake.

I slowly reached out and took them from him. Our fingers brushed briefly and I recognized his instant recoil. His hands clasped together in front of him and I watched as he started to methodically rub them together.

“Thanks,” I said, holding the flowers limply. I knew never to be surprised by what life threw at you, but I was shocked as hell by the direction my evening had taken. I hadn’t expected to find an odd sense of comfort in the presence of the person I hoped to never see again.

“Are you going to come by the art studio?” Flynn asked abruptly.

I remembered our conversation days before and how rudely I had turned him down. I had been hateful and mean. Clearly that hadn’t deterred him. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him where to shove it in the most inelegant way possible, but there was something in the air that made rejecting him seem impossible.

Maybe it was this place that had inexplicably always felt like a home. Maybe it was standing here, with Flynn, being reminded of a time when things made a perfect sort of sense.

Maybe it was the fact that I was still slightly inebriated and not in my right mind.

Whatever it was, my inhibitions were gone.

“Sure,” I found myself saying. Even though Flynn wasn’t looking at me, I thought I could make out the edges of his smile.

“Good,” he answered. He finally looked up at me and the ghost of a smile was still painted on his lips. “You look cold. You should dress better,” he said, indicating my bare legs and tiny top.

I snorted. “I’m cool. But thanks for your opinion,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

“You look cold. I’m going to get you a jacket,” he pressed and I shook my head.

“Flynn, I’m fine,” I assured him firmly, knowing that once he was stuck on an idea he wouldn’t let it drop.

“Why were you in the woods?” Flynn asked.

“Uh, I was walking home from a party,” I answered.

“A party,” he intoned in his oddly pleasing voice.

“Yeah. It kind of sucked,” I said, surreptitiously rubbing my arms, not wanting to admit that I was in fact quite chilly.