Reckless Abandon (November Blue, #2)(75)

Chapter Thirty-Five



Ember



Cold weather has set up its temporary residence on the East Coast. I’m contemplating a trip to see my parents in San Diego after

Josh and Monica’s wedding next week. I can’t believe they’re still there; this is officially the longest they’ve stayed in one

place since I was in high school. Apparently, the group has decided to go by the nickname I gave them in my childhood and are

affectionately calling themselves “The Six” for their next album. Lord, help me, their next album. Well, the anonymity was fun

while it lasted.

It’s clear that this will be my last outdoor yoga session for a while, as my shivering nearly knocks me out of my headstand. A car

door slamming in the parking lot finishes the job—I crumble without grace to the ground. I sit, frozen, as I study the form

walking toward me.

“Regan?” I whisper to myself. I doubt if the waves even hear me.

His copper hair hangs carelessly in front of his face. He awkwardly shoves his hands in the pockets of his skinny jeans as he

crosses onto the sand.

“Regan!” I yell as I stand, startling two seagulls who squawked during my whole session. Serves them right.

“Hey.” His quirky half-smile fills my heart and I race toward him, crashing into him with all my force. “Jesus, work out much?”

He teases softly, hugging me back.

“What the hell are you doing here? Here.” I gesture to the beach around me.

“Monica told me where I could find you. My flight got in last night-”

I interrupt, “It’s cold as hell out here. Come back to my place and we’ll talk.



*



“You ditched your cell phone,” I comment to Regan as I pour his coffee.

“Yeah, I just needed to disappear for a while.”

I join him on the couch and pass him his cup. “Mission accomplished. I was worried about you, you know.”

“I’m sorry ...” he trails off as he shakes his head. I wasn’t looking for an apology, and there’s really nothing more he can

say.

“How’ve you been, anyway?”

Regan settles back into the couch and tells me about the last almost four months of his life. After returning to Ireland, he picked

up some summer courses to fill his time and his mind. He’s kept minimal contact with C.J. but had RSVP’d that he’d go to Josh

and Monica’s wedding. He misses everyone, he says.

Regan sets his coffee down and looks me square in the eye. “I’m taking a drive up to Concord tomorrow. Do you want to ride with

me?”

I spit some of my coffee out. “Uh, no thanks.”

He furrows his brow as I speed into the kitchen to refresh my coffee.

“Why not?” he asks in all heartbreaking honesty.

“I haven’t spoken to Bo ...” I say from the kitchen.

“Since when?”

“Have you talked with him?” I deflect the question.

“About once a week. When’s the last time you talked to him?”

“If I haven’t come up, that should be some indication.”

“Ember ...”

Deep breath.

“The day after Rae’s funeral.”

“Are you f*cking kidding me?” Regan sounds angry as he enters the kitchen.

“Listen, Ireland, you have no idea what the hell happened between the two of us. I tried calling you that day but you didn’t

answer anyone’s calls. Then, poof, just like that you’re gone the day after that with a cancelled cell phone account. Don’t

‘are you f*cking kidding me’ me, Regan. Are you f*cking kidding me?”

Tears sting my eyes as I replay the desperation I felt on my drive back to Barnstable the day after Rae’s funeral. I called Regan

that whole day without any answer. I was hoping he could just...I don’t know. Whatever it was, he didn’t do it. He wasn’t there.

He disappeared.

“I wanted to talk to you,” I continue as he stares at me doe-eyed. “Bo and I had sex the night of the funeral, and he f*cking

kicked me out the next day after Ainsley tramped around his front porch, and ...and I was so goddamned sad about Rae ...” Seeing

Regan’s face for the first time since the funeral shatters me into a million pieces. A million disastrous pieces. My voice shakes

as I try to keep the meltdown at bay.

“Ember, I’m—”

“No way, don’t tell me you’re sorry. You lost someone, too. We both lost her—we all lost her—and nobody wanted to f*cking talk

to me about it! My best friends were planning their wedding, the happiest day of their lives, and I was just looking for someone to

talk through my shit with. Bo kicked me out and you disappeared.”

Regan grabs my hands and it’s all over. He’s crying, I’m crying, and we sink to the floor in a puddle of grief. Sobbing into

each other’s shoulders, we cling to each other on my kitchen floor.



*



“Wow, you sure know how to show a guy a good time,” Regan laughs as we pass the only bottle of beer in my fridge back and forth