Rebound (Seattle Steelheads #1)(42)

He frowned, hand still resting on my shoulder. “I’d, um, love to tell you it’ll be smooth sailing for the rest of the night, but…”

I swallowed. “It’s okay.”

“I can crash on the couch or—”

“No, no.” I took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m not throwing you out of bed over a nightmare.”

We held each other’s gazes.

Geoff’s shoulders sagged, and he sighed as he gathered me in his arms. “I’m sorry. You don’t need this right now.”

“Neither do you.” I held him close and kissed the side of his neck. “Come on. Let’s get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t want you to either.”

He nodded but said nothing. We curled up together in the middle of the bed, my arm over his waist and his short hair tickling my nose. I was still jittery, and he was still tense, but exhaustion took over before too long.

*

By the time the sun came up, I was still awake from Geoff’s third nightmare. After this little sleep, practice was going to be awesome today. Sleep deprivation plus my brain hamsters running like their tails were on fire because Geoff hit me except damn it he was asleep but still how do I deal with that and The man had a combat PTSD nightmare and he had to comfort me and I should have known things were going too well.

I was back to feeling like I was walking on eggshells. I didn’t want to trigger something. I didn’t want him to decide I wasn’t worth the trouble. But hell, he’d probably already decided that, or he would once he finally woke up. Nightmares had jerked him awake three times last night, and each time, while he’d still been shaking and breathless, he’d fussed over me and whether he’d accidentally hit me again. The poor dude couldn’t even have a war flashback without needing to make sure I was okay.

While he slept, I got up and into the shower, then went downstairs to make coffee. As I went through all the motions, my stomach kept doing somersaults. There was no way Geoff was going to want to keep doing this. He had enough to deal with during the night. Needing to shake himself out of a flashback to comfort me? Fuck no. That was definitely going to be too much. Maybe he’d stick around for the sex, but I didn’t see the overnight stays continuing.

Geoff came down the stairs as I was pouring my second cup of coffee. I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t.

He apparently wasn’t deterred, though. He stopped beside me and rested his hand on the small of my back. The contact made me jump because I hadn’t expected him to want to touch me, and that made me feel even worse.

He let his hand linger there for a moment, then slid it around my side and wrapped his arms around me from behind as he pressed a soft kiss to the base of my neck.

“I’m sorry about last night. It’s, um, not always like that, but sometimes.” Another kiss. “I didn’t even think about how it would bother you. After…”

“Geoff, don’t apologize.” I turned around in his arms and met his gaze. “I just feel bad you had to calm me down after—”

“No. Don’t.” He was already shaking his head. “I should’ve told you more about what to expect. It…” He sighed, color blooming in his cheeks as he broke eye contact. “It’s kind of embarrassing when it happens, and I hate talking about it, but with your history, I should have.”

“Does that happen often? Accidentally, um…”

“Hitting someone?”

I tried to suppress a shiver. “Yeah.”

“Only with the really bad dreams.” He smoothed my hair, his eyes and tone apologetic. “I don’t get those nearly as often anymore, thank God, so last night… Hopefully that won’t be an ongoing thing.”

I nodded. “Well, at least now I know what to expect. We can work around it.”

“Are you sure? It honestly won’t hurt my feelings if you need me to crash at my place.”

“No. I really do want you stay here when you can. This is just something we’ll have to get used to.”

Geoff chewed his lip. Then he sighed. “It’s a tough thing for me to deal with, and I know it’s tough for anyone sharing a bed with me. If it’s not something you—”

“Yeah, it’s tough,” I admitted. “I still don’t want to stop doing this.”

“Neither do I, but I want you to feel safe, you know? Especially in your own bed.”

“I do.” It was the truth. Yeah, I’d been startled in the moment, and the panic had taken a while to cool down, but I’d never felt threatened by Geoff. “It’s something we’ll have to work through and deal with as it comes, but I don’t want you to go.” That last part came out as more of a plea than I’d intended. Maybe that was pathetic. I really didn’t care. I just didn’t want Geoff to leave, especially not over something like this.

To my surprise—and relief—he touched my face and softly said, “I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.”

I covered his hand with mine. “Good. Because I really want you to stay.”

A tired smile played at his lips. “Okay. I’ll stay.” He glanced past me and grimaced. “I do have to go soon because I have to be at work, but you know what I mean.”

I managed a laugh. “Yeah. I need to get my ass to practice in a few hours too. Do you at least have time for a cup of coffee?”