Reap (Scarred Souls, #2)(75)

My father blanched, and Luka, looking every inch a Bratva pakhan, added, “I was locked in a cage, mind f*cked, incessantly raped, and made to f*cking kill. There is no way that I’m leaving Zaal to that same fate. He was taken as a child and forced in every way like me. And just like me, he won’t ever be that boy who was captured. That boy was made into someone else, just like me. He’ll forever be Zaal Kostava and 221, just like I will always be Luka Tolstoi, and 818. A part of me will always be Raze. And nothing will ever f*cking change that.”

Luka looked down at me. “I’ll get him out, Tal. I swear it to you, as your brother, and as your knayz.”

Luka turned to leave, when my father stepped forward. Luka stilled.

“Luka,” our father said, and cleared his throat. “I am proud of you in this moment. I am so very proud.”

The Pakhan nodded in agreement, and lifted his chin. “You sound like a true knayz, Luka. I’ve been waiting to see this rise in you. Who knew it would have been a Kostava that inspired this change.”

Luka swallowed, and reaching for Kisa’s hand, silently led her out of the door, to their house three doors down.

The room was stifled and tense, and I could feel a shift in atmosphere. Getting to my feet, I walked into my mother’s waiting arms, when my father came forward. I braced for his wrath, for his judgment and disappointment. Instead, he took me in his arms and pressed a kiss to my head.

With glossy eyes, he stepped back. “I couldn’t have lost you, too, Talia,” he said gruffly, causing my resolve to crack. I pulled back, but my father turned away, and dismissed my mother and I with a wave of his hand.

My mother took me from the living room and into my bedroom. As the door shut, she sat beside me on my bed. Reaching out, I took her hand and asked, “What now?”

Mother sighed, and with the experienced strength of a true Bratva wife, she said, “We wait, Talia. We sit calmly, and we wait.”





Chapter Nineteen

Luka

The minute we entered our house, I walked into the living room and began to pace. I was going in. I was going in to the Jakhua hideout for Zaal.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kisa sit down on the sofa, her fingernails in her mouth. Her face was directed toward the window, but I could see by her body language that she was stressed.

She was completely lost in her thoughts.

I focused on my wife, panicking at what she could be thinking, then I thought over the task I was about to undertake. I was going to murder Jakhua and anyone else from his clan that got in my way.

I was going to do this, and I knew how Kisa felt about me fighting. I knew she hated it, but Zaal needed me to save him. Talia needed this. Anri needed this. And I needed to get Anri’s revenge once and for all.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. I didn’t know how to balance my need to kill, and what was best for my wife. It was hurting my head. It was making it difficult to breathe.

Hearing Kisa move from the sofa, I opened my eyes to see her making her way toward me. My wife stopped right before me, her face unreadable, and she took my hand in hers. I looked down at our linked hands, and then straight into her eyes.

I was so afraid of what she would say.

“Sit with me, lyubov moya,” Kisa said as she led me to the couch. She sat down, and I did, too. Kisa’s hand was tight in mine. She pulled me in close and pressed a kiss to my lips.

Kisa moaned as I pushed my tongue into her mouth, loving her sweet taste hitting my throat. But then she pulled away, her eyes instantly downcast. My head tilted to the side as I stared at my wife. I had no idea what she was thinking.

Taking a deep breath, Kisa brought our joined hands to her lap, her free hand making small circles on the back of my hand.

The room was silent, apart from our strained breathing. I wondered if she wanted me to explain why I agreed to this tonight, if that’s what she was waiting for. I shifted trying to think of something to say, how to put my feelings into words, but before I could, Kisa said, “It’s funny.” I stilled as she spoke, then she laughed a humorless laugh. “When I was young, I used to think that love conquered all.” Kisa’s hand shook in mine, and I edged closer to Kisa’s side.

She lifted her head, her blue eyes meeting my brown. “But I now know this isn’t true.”

I took a deep breath at her confession, and fear filled my body. Was she…? Was she done with me? Was she telling me she’d had enough of me?

Lifting her hand, Kisa ran a finger under my left eye. I couldn’t speak as I watched her eyes glisten with tears.

Pushing my hand into her long brown hair, Kisa gave me a weak smile and squeezed my hand. “I now know that love conquers most. And I’m okay with that—most.” She shrugged. “No one on this planet is perfect, Luka. So it shouldn’t surprise me that no one can take away all their lover’s demons. That I can’t make you free of your painful past. I can’t make you into the carefree boy you were as a child.” I didn’t dare move as Kisa kept speaking. She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on my cheek. “But I can hold you when those demon’s rise. And I can chase them away with a kiss, with a touch, by making love.”

“Kisa…,” I whispered, unsure what to say in response. Her words, what she was saying, they meant everything to me. Kisa placed my finger over my lips, and shaking her head, cut me off.