RYDER (Slater Brothers 4)(39)

I grunted. “Yeah, you’re all genetically blessed, I get it.”

Ryder’s lips quirked. “You think we’re genetically blessed?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re all gorgeous, and you all bloody well know it.”

Ryder had the decency to slightly blush. “Yeah, well, genetics didn’t help Dominic with your sister.”

I shrugged. “From what she has told me, he is an arsehole. Why would she want to hook up with an arsehole?”

“You’d be surprised how many women dig the * vibe, most think they can be the ones to finally straighten out the bad boy.”

I frowned. “That’s not me or Bronagh. If you’re an arsehole, then that’s it. No matter how good lookin’ you are, nothin’ will shine brighter than your dickhead personality.”

“It’s why Dominic is struggling with Bronagh. He is demanding by nature, so when he orders her about, or his hard on her, she comes out swinging and he has no f*cking clue how to deal with a female like that. It’s why he screws up so much with her, he just doesn’t know what to do when sex isn’t involved.”

I frowned. “That’s kind of sad, Ryder.”

He nodded. “I know it is, but it is…”

“What it is,” I finished.

His lips twitched and he took a step towards me. “You don’t think I’m an *, do you?”

My own lips twitched in reply. “The jury is still out on that one.”

Another step.

“Branna,” he murmured, his eyes locked on mine.

I locked my knees together to avoid them buckling from under me and quickly lifted my hand and held is out in front of me. “Stop lookin’ at me like that, we aren’t finished talkin’.”

His hands went to his belt buckle, and so did my eyes.

“Aren’t we?” he asked as he popped the buckle.

The sound sent a shiver up my spine and—No, Branna, be strong!

I cleared my throat and lifted my eyes back to Ryder and narrowed them. “No, we aren’t.”

Ryder sighed when he saw I wasn’t backing down. He let go of his now undone belt and placed his hands on his hips. “Okay, talking it is,” he said. “What else do you want to talk about?”

“You said before that all of Dominic’s behaviour isn’t his fault, you said it was your upbringin’. I want to know what you meant by that.”

Ryder set his jaw so I pointed my index finger at him. “This isn’t up for debate, I want to know exactly what you meant by that or I’m leavin’.”

“Don’t threaten me,” Ryder said, his voice low.

Shit.

“I’m not threatenin’ you, I’m promisin’ you. Talk or I walk.”

Ryder stared at me for a long moment, and I knew he was thinking about whether I was worth telling the information that he was purposely trying to keep private. That told me it was a secret, a very important secret.

“Last chance, Ryder,” I warned. “Talk, or I’m gettin’ me sister and neither you or your brother will have anythin’ to do with us ever again.”

He curled his lips up in frustration. “I’m trying to think of a way to explain it to you without scaring you.”

I blinked. “Why would it scare me?”

“Because,” he began, “my life is a world away from yours. You have no idea the things I’ve done, or that I’m still doing.”

I took a hesitant step back and it made Ryder grin.

“Does it scare you to know I’m not straight laced like you think I am?”

What the hell did that mean?

My heart began to beat faster as I recalled the many conversations we’ve had about his job. I never got any information when I asked questions about it, Ryder would seduce me and all would be forgotten.

“You don’t scare me, Ryder,” I replied honestly.

An emotion flashed across his eyes, and his shoulders sagged, his tough demeanour vanishing.

“I know, sweetness, and that’s why I want to word what I have to say correctly. You’re very important to me, and I don’t want you to be scared of me. Not ever.”

I tilted my head to the side. “So ease me into it.”

He snorted. “This isn’t a conversation you can ease someone into, all of it is… heavy.”

I sat down on his bed, and patted the empty spot next to me.

“I’ve got all night.”

Ryder came to my side and settled down on the bed next to me. He reached over and took my hands in his. “Before I say anything, please know that I don’t want to do what I do, I just have no choice.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, but I nodded in understanding.

“Back in New York, my brothers and I, we were raised on a compound run by gangsters.”

I was waiting for a laugh, or a ‘gotcha’ to follow that bizarre statement, but nothing followed.

I blinked. “Wow.”

Ryder gauged my reaction for some indication of what I was thinking, but I knew he would draw a blank because I didn’t even know what I was thinking.

“My father was one of those gangsters,” he continued. “And he was co-boss along with a friend of his called Marco Miles. Both of them built up their empire from scratch, and by the time I was twenty they had a hand in everything from prostitution to drugs and weapons. You wouldn’t think it, but it was a very secure business they had going as nearly all law enforcement was on their payroll. The Feds were the only ones not under their thumbs, and when there were a few runs in with honest cops, a payoff to the chief of the NYPD cleared that up quickly. It was a surprisingly safe environment to grow up in, but it was in no way normal. A prime example would be for the twins’ thirteenth birthday me and my brothers gifted them escorts because we felt bad about them having to jerk off all the time.”