RYDER (Slater Brothers 4)(33)
Alec’s gaze hardened. “Ryder isn’t cheating on you Branna.”
“How am I supposed to know that?” I snapped. “How am I supposed to know anythin’ anymore? He leaves the house for hours on end every day, he is gone every night and he never tells me where he is goin’ or who he is goin’ with. I can’t take the lies and secrets anymore. I can’t f*ckin’ do it!”
Kane and Alec’s mouths were agape when I finished shouting, and it did nothing to settle my burning temper.
“I know you both know what he is up to, but don’t worry, I won’t pester you both with questions because Ryder should be the one to tell me what he is f*ckin’ around with. I deserve to know.”
Alec scratched his neck. “Things are very complicated, Branna.”
“Me life is complicated, Alec, and it’s why I’m settin’ out to uncomplicate it.”
Kane stepped forward. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” I said with my head held high, “that I’m breakin’ up with Ryder. I’ve been plannin’ on doin’ it but haven’t found the right time. I’m realisin’ now that there is no right time, so the next time I see ‘im, I’m just doin’ it.”
“Are… are you serious, Bran?” Alec asked, his eyes wide.
I nodded. “I’m sad, Alec. I’ve been sad for months. We either fight or ignore one another, there is no in-between and I refuse to live like this anymore. I don’t love this version of Ryder. I love the man he used to be, but I am through waitin’ around for him to reappear. I deserve to be happy, and Ryder, as he is now, doesn’t make me happy.”
Kane scrubbed his face with his hands. “This will change…”
“Everythin’.” I finished for him. “Yeah, it will change everythin’, and that’s the point. I can’t live like this anymore so I’m gettin’ out.”
“Have you talked to the girls about this?” Alec asked. “Keela hasn’t mentioned anything about you wanting to leave Ryder to me.”
“Neither has Aideen.” Kane chimed in.
“Aideen is busy with Jax, Keela is busy with her writin’, Bronagh is pregnant, and Alannah is swamped with work. They’re all under enough stress as it is. I didn’t want to burden them with problems that don’t concern them so I kept this to meself.”
“Nothing about you is a burden, Bran,” Alec frowned.
I managed a small smile. “Thanks Alec, I appreciate you sayin’ so.”
“It’s the damn truth,” Kane firmly stated. “You’re family, and family isn’t a burden. Understand?”
I nodded, and my mind wondered if they would still consider me family after I broke up with their big brother.
“When you find Ryder, please, don’t tell ‘im any of this. I have to talk to him about this meself, okay?”
Both of the brothers glumly nodded.
“What set him off anyway?” Alec asked a moment later. “What was the big fight about?”
I filled them in on what went down with Ash at work earlier in the day, and what Dominic said to Ryder about it.
“I’ll kill him!” Kane growled, talking about his younger brother.
Alec grunted. “Not if I get my hands on him first.”
I chewed on my nails. “You don’t think Ryder would hurt Ash, do you? He really is me friend, and I’d never forgive Ryder if he hurt him.”
Kane and Alec shared at look.
“What does that look mean?” I questioned.
Alec sighed and looked at me. “I’m not going to lie to you, Bran. Ryder, when he is pissed and pushed to the edge… he can be, well, terrifying. He hasn’t been that angry in a long time, I honestly don’t think you’ve ever seen him lose it before, and I don’t want you to either. We’ll find him and bring him home to you.”
I swallowed down bile. “Thank you.”
They both nodded and stood. “Let us know if he comes home in the meantime.”
“I will.”
When they left I was on my own with just my thoughts for company, and that didn’t bode well for me because, like earlier in the day, my mind drifted to happier times with Ryder. It was like I was hurting myself on purpose by remembering how incredible things were with us, but I couldn’t help it.
Ryder, the way he used to be, was my addiction, and like any addict I had to have him in any way possible, even if that way was just a memory.
Five years ago…
“Just sit her down and tell her about Ryder.” Aideen demanded. “She won’t go crazy like you think she will.”
“But she will.” I groaned and adjusted my phone against my ear. “Bee doesn’t like people, and she especially doesn’t like me bein’ with people. Men in particular.”
Aideen clicked her tongue. “She’s goin’ to have to take the stick out of her arse and get over it. She can’t stay closed off forever, and she can’t expect you never to have a relationship. You’ve been datin’ Ryder over eleven weeks now, Branna, the longer you leave it the worse it will be when you do eventually tell her. You love ‘im so it’s time to introduce them.”