RECLAIM MY HEART(67)

Tyne’s eyebrows arched, Lucas’s request utterly blindsiding her.
“Zach’s found a connection in Wikweko,” Lucas hurried to say. “I think having a name to go along with that connection is important. He’s Indian. He’s Lenape. He should have a Lenape name. He should have my name.”
A stab of annoyance shot through her. “Zach is my son too, Lucas. He’s half white, remember.”
He immediately looked contrite. “I know, Tyne. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…?I’m really sorry.”
Pressing the heels of her hands on either side of her, she scooted to make some space between them.
“Tyne, don’t do that. Don’t move away from me.” He took her hand, flattened it between both of his. “Don’t be angry. I was only thinking of Zach. He’s made great strides. He seems to have found his place here. He’s made a bond. He’s made friends who understand him. Who appreciate how he feels and what he’s experienced.”
She couldn’t deny that everything he said was true. Her son seemed happier, more content, more at ease, here than he ever had in Philadelphia. He and Jasper had developed a wonderful relationship. This place, these people, seemed to bring out the best in him.
“Of course,” he told her, “I understand that we can’t make definitive decisions when we’ve been here less than three weeks. But you’ve said yourself that Zach has truly changed.”
The river below rolled by at a lazy pace. She sighed, and then turned to look at Lucas. “Your son would be absolutely thrilled to use your name. You know ite. d. as well as I do.” For some ungodly reason, tears blurred her vision. “That child—” She stopped suddenly, repressing a wave of solid emotion. “He’s not a child. I know that. But I can’t help thinking of him that way.” She swiped at the tear that slid from the corner of her eye. “He’s been looking for a father all his life. I was able give him a lot of things. But I couldn’t give him what he wanted, what he needed, most.”
Lucas squeezed her fingers. “Tyne, you have to stop this. You gave our son everything you had to give. There’s no reason for you to feel guilty.”
Another tear slipped down her cheek as past regrets tore at her heart. “I kept the two of you apart. I didn’t tell you about him, Lucas. Our child is fifteen years old, and—
“I knew, Tyne.”
Surely she hadn’t heard him correctly. But the categorical quality of his tone made it almost too clear. Her fingertips felt chilled when she pulled them from his grasp. “What do you mean, you knew?” She searched his face, not really expecting an answer to the unnecessary question. But when he didn’t respond, she pressed, “You knew I had Zach?”
“I knew you were pregnant.”
He reached for her, but she drew away.
“Tyne, I was told you were pregnant, but I was also told you were getting rid of the baby.”
“Who told you that? No one else knew. No one who would dare tell, anyway. When were you told? Before I left Oak Mills?”
He scrubbed at his forehead, raked his fingers through his hair. “Let me explain.” His exhalation was rough. “There’s a hell of a lot to explain.”
“I’m listening.”
He looked out over the bluff. “I’m not sure where to begin.” Then he turned to face her. “When you stopped talking to me, stopped taking my calls, I went nuts. We hadn’t fought. You seemed a little distracted that last weekend we were together, but I thought everything was fine. I got annoyed when I didn’t hear from you and it seemed you were avoiding my calls. I imagined you out partying with your college friends, and I decided to leave it alone. Give you some time. But after a couple of weeks I couldn’t stand it and called you again. Your roommate told me you’d moved out of the dorm. That she hadn’t seen you. She didn’t know if you’d moved off campus or what. I tried to ask her more questions, but she blew me off. I didn’t know what had happened, but I knew something was wrong.”
He was looking at her, but she had the distinct feeling he wasn’t seeing her.
“I called your house and got nothing but the runaround from your mother. At first, she claimed you weren’t home. On the third call, she admitted you were home, but that you couldn’t talk. Then after half a dozen calls, she started saying you refused to talk to me.” He lifted one hand, palm up. “Tyne, I didn’t know what was going on. All I knew was that I had to see you. I went to your house and had words with your mother. She said you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. That I should go away. And stay away. That I should stop trying to see you. I got so angry. I brushed past her. Started searching the house. Calling your name. I was…” He shook his head, exhaled in frustration. “Desperate. And scared.”
Of course, Tyne hadn’t been aware that he’d called, or that he’d come to the house. She’d suspected he would. Would have been stupid to think he wouldn’t. They’d been serious for three years. But she figured that one firm lecture from her father would have Lucas running. She’d also been certain that once Lucas had learned she’d dropped out of college, that she’d left town, he’d leave things alone.
“Your mother picked up the phone. Threatened to call the police.” The hand resting on his thigh tensed into a fist. “Stillfis’d le, I refused to leave until I had a chance to talk to you. That’s when she finally admitted that you’d left Oak Mills. She wouldn’t tell me where you’d gone, but she did say that you wouldn’t be back any time soon. Then she told me you’d made some decisions. That you’d come to your senses. That you wanted nothing more to do with an Indian. That I should forget about you and get on with my life. She said that’s what you wanted me to do.”