RECLAIM MY HEART(26)

“The fish swam in a school with other fish just like him. Brothers. Sisters.” There was a dramatic pause before he added, “Family. He grew and was happy. One day he heard about a place. A wondrous place called the ocean, and the fish decided he no longer wanted to live in the cove with his own kind.” Jasper set down the mug of fragrant herbal tea. “He wanted to experience new things, to be amazed and astounded by those things he had not yet seen but had only heard of. So he left his family. He began a long journey to the ocean.”
Even just half-listening, understanding dawned on Lucas, and he sat forward in his chair to focus on his Uncle’s words. He’d moved away. He hadn’t been home in years. He’d neglected his duties as a nephew. The path this story was taking was plain. He deserved a lecture; he’d sit here quietly and take it like a man. At least the cause of this stiffness between them would Sen ain. no longer be a mystery.
“The fish swam into deeper water, following the swift current.” Jasper’s gaze never wavered from Lucas’s face. “The water became so deep the sunlight could not penetrate, so the fish had trouble seeing. He wondered if he should turn back, but ambition to see different things—to be different—urged him on. He was not used to the strong undercurrent. He was tossed and flipped and flung, the jagged rocks and brightly colored coral ripping at his tender flesh. The loss of scales made him weak.”
Lucas frowned.
“A storm arose,” Jasper continued, “and churned the water, capturing the fish in a dangerous eddy that tore at his fins. The fish rested by a pristine clam shell only to be nearly devoured by a barracuda.”
“Stop.” Lucas stood and took a couple of steps to stand at the kitchen’s narrow window. The scent of smoky bacon wafted on the breeze. One of the other artists on the street must be having a late breakfast.
He turned to look at Jasper. “I thought I knew what was going on. Thought I’d figured out the moral of your story. But you’ve lost me.” Lucas tugged on his earlobe and shook his head. Then he stood up straighter. “I’m not a kid, Uncle Jasper. If you have something you want to say to me, just say it.”
Jasper listened and then looked down to study his mug. “You used to hang on my every word.” The older man lifted his gaze. “But you are a man, and you want to be treated like a man. I understand.”
The turn the story had taken had unsettled Lucas. He wasn’t weak; he wasn’t torn or tattered. He crossed his arms over his chest.
His uncle seemed to be measuring his thoughts. Finally, he said, “Ambition is a hungry master. It feeds on pieces of its servant until—”
“I have no master.”
They stared at one another.
“I don’t want you to lose sight of who you are, Lucas. Of where you came from.”
“I know who I am. I am Lenape. And I know where I came from.”
There was no judgment in Jasper’s expression. So why did Lucas sense that his uncle was dubious of his claims?
Any lawyer with two brain cells to rub together knew not to argue a point without preparation. Well thought-out logic and reason must be used if one was to make a winning case. He decided it would be best to leave this argument for another day.
“Uncle Jasper—” he went back to the table and sat down “—I came here to ask you some questions.”
Jasper’s calm demeanor never changed.
“I want to know about my mother.” He took a breath, licked his lips. “If she died when I was born, where is she buried? What was her name? Why are there no photos of her anywhere?”
The questions disrupted his uncle’s peace. Jasper tried to hold Lucas’s gaze, but he failed. Finally, he simply shifted in the chair so he was no longer facing his nephew.
“I need some answers,” Lucas pressed. “I feel as if I have this gaping hole in my life. I’d like to fill it in. I need closure. I want to know who she was. I want to visit her grave. Honor her memory with a gift. Please. Tell me where I can find her.”
Jasper issued a deep, soulful sigh.
“I’m sorry.” A frown creased Lucas’s brow. “I know it’s a subject no one ever wanted to talk about. I felt that the whole time I was growing up. Sensed it. So much so, that I put her completely out of my mind. But not knowing who my mother was…?well, it’s just not normal. You have to see that.”
His uncle’s expression grew more troubled with each passing second.
“What?” Lucas was becoming agitated. “What is it? Is it something bad? Was she bad? Is that it?” Frustration got t Stra
Jasper barked his name sharply.
He lifted his hands, palms up, in a quick, short, jerky motion to emphasize his apology. “I didn’t mean to speak ill of the dead.”
“She isn’t dead, Lucas.”
He couldn’t have been more stunned had his uncle swung out and cuffed him on the jaw.
Jasper shifted so they were face to face. “She didn’t die giving birth to you.”
“But someone told me that.” His voice was barely a whisper. Somewhere in the back of his brain he registered that greasy smell of bacon. “Someone.” He shook his head. “Told me.”
“It wasn’t me. And it wasn’t your father.” Jasper’s chest expanded when he took a deep breath. “Ruth Yoder was alive the last time I saw her. And that was the day she placed you in your father’s arms…?and walked away. We knew we would never hear from her again. And we promised Ruth and her father we would never contact her.”