Push(86)

I give him a what-the-f*ck-were-you-thinking face.
“I know,” he says quietly. “It was stupid of me to use my cell phone. It wasn’t my finest moment. I don’t make mistakes like that, Emma. Ever. I was just so desperate to fix this. To get Michael out of your life. And I had a very small time frame in which to do it.”
“Jesus.” I am disgusted with all of it.
He takes a deep breath and continues.
“Ricky had no idea who beat Michael in that parking garage but said it had nothing to do with him. He assumed I found someone else to take care of it, but I assured him that that was not the case. Then he told me he wanted forty grand to keep his mouth shut about our potential arrangement.”
“What?”
“I told him he was f*cking nuts. And then he smiled at me, and I knew instantly that he knew more than he was letting on.” David stops and takes another deep breath. He rests his elbows on his knees and his head is in his hands, looking at the floor. “Ricky said he knew that I had no involvement with TruTimber Imports and that I was trying to get rid of Michael for a very different reason. He said he came here wanting twenty grand to keep his mouth shut, but then he saw you and me get into my car together that morning. Everything clicked, and when he realized why I really wanted Michael gone, he decided to double his money. You said your brothers were *s, Emma, but I had no idea.”
“That f*cking cocksucker.” I stand up and start pacing the living room.
“I told him that you didn’t know anything about all this and that if he ever so much as looked at you again, I would take him down. I was so f*cking pissed off at myself for underestimating him, and I needed it all to go away, Emma, and so I told him that I would get him the money.”
“Was he here when I called him on Tuesday night to confirm that Michael was really dead?” I am repulsed by the thought of Ricky being so close to me. And with the idea that David was the one who made it happen.
“Yeah,” he says, looking intensely ashamed. “And he was upstairs on Wednesday night when you came home from work.” He flinches when he says it because he knows what is about to happen.
I stop pacing and turn toward David. “He was in your apartment? Jesus f*cking Christ, David! Is that why you were counting that money? To give it to Ricky?” I press my fingers into my eyes. I am boiling with anger. I pull my hands away from my hot skin and stab my finger at him as I talk. “You mean while we were down here f*cking on my couch, my motherf*cking brother was upstairs in your apartment waiting for you to pay him off?” I didn’t think it was possible for me to be as angry with David as I was yesterday, but right now, I am about to explode.
“Brad and a couple of other guys were up there with him. Ricky left with twenty grand that night. And then on Saturday night, when he called to tell you about Evan’s involvement, I knew it was really meant as a reminder to me. A reminder that I still owed him money and that he was still in control. That’s why I made that phone call to Michael’s house after you fell asleep. Ricky is living there now, and I called to tell him to leave you the f*ck alone and to find out where and when he wanted me to deliver the rest of the money. He insisted I take it to him that night. He was worried that by Sunday morning, the cops would be all over him because they had just arrested Evan. I left to take him the money right after he and I hung up, knowing that I wouldn’t be here when you woke up.” He pauses for a second and draws in a long, steady breath. “I’m sorry, Emma.”
“You’ll be even more sorry when Ricky comes back asking for more money. Because he will do that, you know. He’ll be back for more.” I am livid, and my voice is crackling with sarcasm aimed right at David’s stupidity.
“No, he won’t. I made it completely clear to him that if he ever contacts you or me again, I will shoot him in the goddamned head.” He says it with so much force that I can’t help but believe him.
I am furious that David did all this behind my back and that he let my dickhead of a brother blackmail him out of forty grand. How could he be so stupid?
“You were never going to tell me about this, were you?” I say bitterly.
“No. I didn’t want you involved. I should have deleted those phone calls, and I am mad as hell at myself for not. But I did all of it to protect you, Emma. And I would do it again.”
I sit down at one of the chairs around my little table. We are quiet for a long time.
“Why didn’t you tell me all this last night when I asked you?” I sound calmer now, even though inside I am still seething.
“Because I needed time to think,” he answers.
“You were going to lie to me about it, weren’t you?”
“Yes, but again, I was only trying to protect you. But then tonight, when you mentioned the earlier phone calls, I knew you wouldn’t settle for the lie I had conjured to cover my ass.”
“I want you to leave now, David. I want you to go home.”
I watch his chest fill up with air. When he exhales, his head snaps around, and his eyes meet mine. His face looks worn. He stares at me for a few minutes without moving.
“I mean it, David,” I say. “I need some time to think about this. Just give me till Wednesday. You have poker tomorrow night anyway.” His expression drops even farther, and his eyes close for a brief second. “Just let me breathe, David. Give me till Wednesday. Please,” I add.
“Okay,” he says, standing up and wiping his palms down the front of his thighs. “But all this is over, Emma. I just wanted you to stop hurting.” He walks to the door and puts his hand on the knob. “Call me if you need anything, and I’ll be here in a heartbeat. You know that.”