Push(75)

“I know about what happened with Lucia,” I say. “His friend Saz told me about her and about how David went kind of ape shit afterwards.”
“Ape shit?” Matt says with a smile. “Yeah, I guess that’s about right. He was not acting like himself, that’s for sure. But then you came along and it mostly stopped.” Mostly. He said mostly.
“Oh. When I told him I wanted to do something crazy today, I wasn’t counting on ape shit crazy. Now I’m all freaked out,” I tell him. And I am.
“Emma, you already know he’s got it bad for you. And, despite his brief history of ape shit, he’s a good guy. I don’t think he’s going to put your life at risk or anything. I just think you may be in for more than you bargained for.”
“I’ve been in for more than I bargained for ever since I met the man, so, really, I shouldn’t be surprised by all this,” I say quietly. Part of me wants Matt to tell me more about David’s ape shit phase, but the rest of me is screaming for him to shut up.
He must hear my silent screams because he shrugs his shoulders and turns back to the drawing table.
* * *

I walk out of the office at precisely two to find David waiting by his double-parked car. He’s leaning against the hood with his arms crossed against his chest and his legs crossed at the ankles. He isn’t dressed for ape shit crazy. He is dressed like he always is. Jeans, a plaid button-down and a pair of chucks. I changed my own clothes in the ladies room before I came down. He told me to wear something casual, and actually, my outfit looks much like his—except I’m wearing a green hoodie instead of a button-down.
Even though David looks as sexy and amazing as ever, I feel nervous when I look at him. I wish I hadn’t talked to Matt about our adventure. I wish I wasn’t second-guessing David. I really do not want to end up in a jail cell or an airplane or in any of the other places that Matt mentioned. I hope David’s ape shit phase is over.
“Hey,” he says, stepping away from the car and wrapping his arms around me. “You look a little freaked out. Is everything all right?” Jesus. Really? Is my nervousness that f*cking obvious? Now I’m embarrassed. I feel my skin starting to color. He lets me go and holds me at arm’s length, keeping his hands on my shoulders and leaning his head into my face so that he can look straight into my eyes. Jesus H. Christ. He is burning a hole right through me.
“Everything’s fine,” I say. “I’m just excited, that’s all.”
“Really?” he says. “Emma, I’m not a f*cking idiot. And you do not look excited. I can see that something is up. What is it? What’s wrong?”
I crease my brow with trepidation. “You aren’t going to go ape shit crazy with me this afternoon, are you? I mean, we aren’t going to do something that could land me in a coffin or anything, right?” His face lightens immediately, and he lets a sharp exhale escape from his nose, as if he is laughing at me from the inside.
“Seriously? Did you just seriously ask me that? Do you think that I would put you in that kind of danger? Do you think that’s the kind of person I am?”
“Well, no, not really. But then I was talking to Matt today, and it just made me think that maybe I’ve missed something and that maybe you really are that kind of person.”
“Whoa,” he says, holding the palm of his hand flat out in front of me. “Hold on. What exactly did Matt tell you?”
“He told me the same thing Saz did,” I say, sounding and feeling much like a rebuked toddler. “That you went a little ape shit when things ended with Lucia, and now I’m having a hard time reconciling the fact that this David is the same person as that one. That’s all.” I am shaking a little because I am afraid that I have somehow offended him. That I have made him feel judged. “I like this David. And I don’t want you to go ape shit again.”
David wraps his arms around me and inhales long and deep. I feel his chest puff out, and his exhale brush against my scalp. “I am not going to go ape shit, Emma. I’m done needing to do all that. I have you.”
“Good,” I say, his words echoing in my ears. Now that my nervousness is squelched, the excitement is returning. “So, what are we doing, then?”
“You’ll see,” he says, letting me go and opening my car door.
Fifteen minutes later, we are on the other side of the city, parking his car. I’m looking around trying to figure out where he has brought me, but all I see are storefronts and restaurants. When David opens my door and I climb out, I look across the street and I know immediately what we are doing. I look back at him and shake my head softly.
“Is that where we’re going?” I say, pointing at the shop across the street.
“Yep,” he says with a smile—a real smile. I can see David’s beautiful teeth, and I am instantly happy. I can feel a smile of my own spreading across my face. He’s excited about this. It isn’t what I thought we would be doing, but I like the idea of it.
He takes my hand and we walk across the street together. When he opens the door, I look up at him and he is still smiling.
I spend the next six hours topless and hunched over a table. The same man who put the phoenix on David’s back is now putting something on mine. His name is Jake. I don’t know how old he is, but his face is beat to hell. He’s one of those guys who could be a rough-looking twenty-five or a decent-looking fifty-five.
The thing is, I have no idea what Jake is making on my back. When we walked in the door, it was clear that he and David had already discussed the whole thing. That they had already come up with a design. David said that he was here yesterday, looking over a few ideas and refining them until they were both happy with the result. He said they would show me the design if I wanted them to. In fact, they had planned on it. But I told them that I didn’t want to see it. They should just do it. They clearly know way more about tattoos than I do. I told them that as long as there were no names or faces on it, and I can easily keep it covered at work, I’m good with whatever it is. They both looked at me in disbelief, asking me repeatedly if I was sure. I don’t know why I am putting so much trust in David, but I am. It feels right.