Purple Hearts(18)

“Yeah, but then what?”

I shrugged. “We get . . .” An image flashed of Jake and Hailey outside the church, grabbing hands as people flowed around them. “We get married.”

Cassie squinted. “So, wait. What’s in it for you?”

The image of Jake and Hailey again, the phone vibrating, a razor slicing a pill. I tried to look her in the eye, to let her know how deeply I meant it, how much I needed it. Less detail, more truth. “I’m in the hole, too. I need to get it paid off as soon as possible.”

“What are you in the hole for?” she asked.

My lungs tightened. Would she get it? No. She’d think I was unreliable. She’d think I’d blow the money on pills. “That’s not something I want to discuss.”

“Uhh . . .” She narrowed her eyes with a sarcastic half-smile. “It feels kind of important, Luke.”

I put up a hard line, hoping I wasn’t sweating. “I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“Great.” She gave me a pointed look.

“Hey,” I said, stepping away from her, steeling myself. “You’re the one who had the illegal idea. We’re par for the course here.”

“Yes, it’s very illegal,” she said, sighing. “If they find out, you’ll be court-martialed and kicked out of the army. We both could go to jail.”

“I know that.” I didn’t know that. But if I could get Johnno paid off before they found out . . . Jail was better than Johnno going after my family.

She began to walk. I followed her. “We’d have to convince everyone,” she said, turning her eyes on me. My heart leaped. She was getting back on board.

“Right.” We were walking side by side now.

“It wouldn’t be that hard, I guess,” she mused. “I’m not close to that many people. And you’re about to ship out. We go to the courthouse, we don’t make a big deal.” She was speaking fast now. “Then you come back and we get into a fight. I mean, not really. But irreconcilable differences. That kind of thing.”

“You could cheat on me, or something,” I suggested, using air quotes.

She stopped in the middle of the block. “Do I look like someone who cheats?”

I turned to look at her, confused. “No? I don’t know.”

“I’m not a cheater,” she said, as if I had accused her of it.

“Whoa, hey! It was just an idea. Sensitive topic?” It came out more biting than I’d meant it. I’d meant it to diffuse. It ignited.

“Being cheated on? Yes,” she snapped.

“I only suggested it because it’s the most clear-cut breakup.”

“Not gonna happen,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not going to play the villain to the poor, upstanding soldier. If anything, you’d be the one to break it off with me.”

“But how am I supposed to cheat? With someone in my company? No.”

“Then no cheating at all,” she said loudly.

I raised my voice to match hers. “It can’t be out of the blue, though. We need a reason.”

“Don’t yell,” she commanded.

“I’m not!” I yelled. “I’m not,” I corrected, quieter.

“Why are we talking about this? We’re getting ahead of ourselves,” she said.

We continued walking, silent for a moment. Two women passed, chatting, one of them pushing a stroller. I kept my mouth shut. Irreconcilable differences seemed more feasible than the marriage. The divorce would be the easiest part.

“I promise henceforth I will always try to get along with you,” I said.

“Mm.” She walked faster. “You’re going to have to try harder.”

My chest had started to get tight again. Cassie could be harsh at the drop of a hat, but at least I would always know where she stood.

“All right,” she continued as we turned a corner to circle the block, “when do you want to do it?”

Relief. “So you’re still in?”

“Yeah, guy. I’m not a quitter.”

I tried to keep from smiling too big. “Tomorrow?”

“That soon?”

“We need time to put on a little bit of a show before I ship out. So it looks real to everyone I serve with.”

“Yeah, we do.” She grimaced. “I’m not much of an actor.”

I clenched my teeth, sucking in air. “Yeah. Me, neither.”

She checked her phone and sighed. “Okay, I gotta go. You fill Frankie in. I’m free all day tomorrow to, you know, nail down the details.”

“Okay.” My skin was buzzing, ready to take action. I was ready right now. I wanted Cassie to be, too. I gestured for her to hand me her phone and punched in my number. She hesitated again before she got in the car.

“Hey, what’s your last name?” she asked, putting up a hand to shade her eyes.

“Morrow,” I said, glancing at her, my eyes traveling down the tattoos on her arms to the CD cases on her dashboard to the granola bar wrappers at her feet. “You?”

“Salazar,” she said, smiling against the sun.

The quiet was surreal. A breeze licked one of the swings in the playground behind her. My heart was full of something like gratitude, something big and scared and shaking, but my mind kept getting slammed into Johnno’s Bronco. Jake, slammed into Johnno’s Bronco. JJ watching.