Proving Paul's Promise(19)

“Since the insemination, I’m not allowed to orgasm. Not until after my checkup. It’ll lessen the chances of the baby taking root.”

His brows rise. “Really?”

I nod.

“Oh, so on a normal day, you don’t have a problem with orgasms? Getting off? Coming?” He adjusts his jeans, tugging on the zipper, and I can see his manhood pressed hard against it. He doesn’t touch it or do anything inappropriate, and I wouldn’t even know how affected he is if he wasn’t so f*cking big. God.

My cheeks are on fire. “No, normally not an issue. Although it has been a really long time.”

“How long?” He turns to face me and rests his elbow on the back of the couch, and drags his fingers through my hair.

“A really long time,” I repeat. I let my head fall back and groan to myself. “I know you’re not used to waiting…” I let my voice trail off.

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life,” he says. “I can wait as long as it takes.”

“You’re so not what I expected, Paul,” I tell him.

“What did you expect?” His hand stops moving in my hair and starts to trail slowly up and down my arm.

“Sex on a stick,” I say quickly. I want to bite the words back as soon as they fall from my lips, but now they’re out there.

He chuckles. “I thought the same thing about you.” He tweaks my nose. “I’ve been fantasizing about you for years.”

I roll my eyes. “But your fantasies included me and another chick.” He did think I was a lesbian, after all.

He shakes his head. “No, it was just you in my head. All you, all the time.” He gets quiet for a second, but it’s not uncomfortable. “When you kissed me, you shocked the shit out of me.”

I wince. “Sorry.”

He holds up both hands. “Oh, please don’t be sorry. I loved it. But then I knew I had to make some changes if I wanted anything real with you. So I did.” He shrugs.

“Why me?” I ask.

“Because you’re you.”

“You don’t know the real me.”

“I know. That’s why I wouldn’t sleep with you right now even if there was no medical issue with it.”

I shove his shoulder. “Liar.”

He shakes his head. “I want to know everything about you.” He lifts my wrist and looks at my tattoos one by one. I have lettering up my inner forearm, and he starts to read it, but I twist my hand before he can finish. “You have these all over, right?” he asks. “Just like me.”

I nod.

He grins somewhat sheepishly. “I want to explore them all with my tongue.” He chuckles.

“Changing your mind about sleeping with me already?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. Exploring your body would give me just about as much pleasure as f*cking you, Friday. I want to know everything.”

“There are some things I’ll never tell you.” I know this about me. He should know it, too. That way, he won’t have any unmet expectations. “I don’t think I can go that deeply. Not with anybody. I’m sorry.” I start to fidget because I don’t know what to do with my hands. “So after my little medical issue is over, I still won’t bare my soul to you.” I lean forward and take his face in my hands. I swipe my fingers beneath his eyes, back and forth in gentle sweeps. “I’ll sleep with you, though. On my terms.”

“I don’t like to share,” he says.

“Neither do I.”

“I won’t share,” he clarifies.

“Neither will I.”

He smiles. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”

I shake my head. “Probably not.”

“I have a feeling we could be really good together.”

“You always keep your promises, right?”

He nods. “I try to.”

“Promise me that you won’t break my heart.”

He heaves a sigh. “Friday,” he says.

“Paul,” I say, mocking his tone.

“You’d have to hand me your heart before I could break it.”

I nod. That’s true. “Okay.”

“But if you ever do trust me enough to give it to me, I promise not to harm it. Is that what you want to hear?” He shakes his head. “I don’t even know why this is an issue when you just plan to use me for sex.” He chuckles then raises a hand. “I volunteer as tribute!” he cries quietly.

I laugh. The bad thing is that if anyone could get me to hand my heart over, it’s him. Because I’ve had him in my head for so long that I don’t even know where to compartmentalize him anymore.

“Want to be my girlfriend?” he teases.

I shake my head. “Let’s just start with roommates.”

He nods. “I’ll take whatever you’ll give me.”

He gets up and holds out a hand. I take it, and he gently tugs me to my feet. He walks with me to my doorway, where his fingers pull from where they’re wrapped up in mine and fall away. “Lock your door,” he says.

“Why?”

“So Hayley won’t wake you up in the morning. She’s nosy. And she gets up at the ass crack of dawn.”