Protecting Her(60)

He hands me the plastic bag and I stuff it in my pocket. I thought he’d ask to see the gun before he paid me for it, but he didn’t so I don’t show it to him. I open the trunk and reach in and pull out my gun with the silencer attached. I aim it at him.

“Hey, what the—”

He crumples to the ground. It’s done. I shot him in the chest. Right in the heart.

I toss the gun back in the trunk and get in the car and drive off. I take out my Dunamis phone and dial nine for the clean-up crew. Someone answers and I leave the address.

“Hurry up,” I tell whoever I’m talking to. “People keep coming out of the bar. Someone might find him. He’s behind the dumpster.” I hang up and shove my phone in my pocket.

After I’ve been driving for a half hour, I pull over at a gas station and go into the restroom, taking the cocaine with me. I flush it down the toilet, then stuff the plastic bag in the trash. When I come back out, a police officer holds the door for me as I exit.

I smile at him. “Thank you, officer.”

He nods and goes inside.

I get back on the road, and a half hour later I’m home. I park the car in the garage and pop open the trunk and store the guns back in their compartment along with the wad of cash. Then I go inside, straight to the bathroom to wash my hands. My shirt reeks of smoke and beer so I take it off and stuff it in the washing machine, but I’m worried Rachel will take it out and notice the smell. She has a pile of Garret’s clothes sitting there, so I add them to the washer, add some soap, and start the machine. Tomorrow I’ll tell her I spilled something on my shirt and had to wash it.

It’s after ten and Rachel must’ve gone to sleep because the house is quiet and only the light above the stove is on. I go upstairs and hear Garret in his room, babbling to himself. I go to check on him and see that he kicked his blanket off. I go to cover him up, but he sees me and reaches out to me. “Dada!”

I take him from his crib and hold him against my chest. And suddenly, the emotion I’d shoved deep down inside me breaks to the surface, washing over me like a tidal wave, drowning me in guilt. I shot a man. I killed him. It wasn’t self defense. It wasn’t because he had a gun pointed at my wife or my child. I just killed him. I know I had to. Dunamis didn’t give me a choice. But still, I took a life. A man is dead because of me.

I look down at Garret, who’s falling back to sleep on my shoulder.

“I won’t let them take you,” I whisper. “I won’t let you become me.”

“Pearce?” Rachel walks in wearing her robe. “Is everything okay?” she whispers.

“Yes. He woke up, but he’s asleep now.” I lay him back in his crib.

Rachel and I go into the hall and down to our room.

“Did you just get home?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“I spilled soda on it. I put it in the wash.”

“You don’t drink soda.”

She’s right. Why did I say that? I try to explain. “For some reason, I had a craving for soda so I stopped and got one. But it spilled and got all over me. I think I’ll take a quick shower.”

“Okay.” She gets back into bed as I go in the bathroom.

After I shower, I slip into bed, trying not to wake her.

“Goodnight,” she whispers, her back to me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I put my arm around her waist and pull her closer, holding her against me.

It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. I keep repeating the words in my head.

I’m not the man who did that. I’m not a murderer. That wasn’t me. It was someone else. I have to believe that. Otherwise, I can’t live with myself.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN


Five Years Later


RACHEL

“Mom, did you see me?” Garret asks, out of breath and wiping the water from his eyes.

“Yes. You were super fast,” I say, taking a towel from the stack. “We need to get going, so can you help me clean up?”

“Okay.” He climbs out of the pool.

I teach swim lessons on Tuesday afternoons and every other Saturday. Garret always comes with me. He loves swimming. He could stay in the pool for hours. He’s a really good swimmer and I’m not just saying that because he’s my son. He really is good.

I wrap the towel around him and kiss his head. “Great job, today.”