Porn Star(67)

Maybe this is just the way mainstream porn works, though. Maybe I really am as na?ve as Raven suggested I was.

At the thought of ultra-experienced Raven, I undo my belt and shed the robe.

“Nice,” the director says with a wink. He continues to chat with me while the bearded guy checks the light levels against my skin. “When the camera rolls, you’ll be gathering these dishes. Bruce will come in behind you and pull off the robe. The dishes are plastic so it’s okay if you drop them. Bruce and I have worked through the choreography, so you just let him lead.”

I throw a glance toward Bruce who’s staring at me while Debs is fluffing his cock. So he’ll be hard when the scene starts. That means he won’t need time to get aroused, and since we’ve already nixed the undressing, I’m afraid foreplay is going to be cut all together.

The idea makes me uncomfortable. “I’d rather know the sequence for myself. Could you go over it, please?”

The director shakes his head curtly. “If you wanted to know the sequence, you should have been to the set on time. Okay, everyone, we’re ready to shoot.”

As I tie the belt of my robe again, Bruce zips up his jeans and gives me a predatory grin. “Go ahead and make it tight, sweetheart. It’s not going to stop me.”

And then I realize—I can’t.

I can’t do this.

I can’t tune out the warning bells in my head. I can’t dismiss this sexist environment. I can’t pretend I feel safe on this set. And I can’t have sex with Bruce Madden.

And even if Logan will always be f*cking other people, and even though I don’t know if I can handle that, I do know with a fair amount of certainty that a good part of the reason I can’t have sex with this caveman alpha in front of me is Logan.

So when the director calls places, I shake my head, and without an apology, I quit.





15





The director yells behind me as I run from the room. “You can’t quit! You’re already here. You’re already naked. Just do the f*ck—”

I make it to the office and slam the door. The director’s voice turns into muffled noise, and I let out a sigh of relief.

It’s not like me to make emotional or spur-of-the-moment decisions, but I feel justified. The list of reasons I can’t do this scene is comprehensive and rational:

1. I don’t feel comfortable on this set.

2. I don’t feel safe on this set.

3. The director refused to explain what my performance partner would do to me in the scene.

4. I don’t trust my partner.

But as logical and sensible as I am about this, as clearly as I can state my complaints, I’m lying to myself if I don’t admit that the biggest reason for quitting is Logan. The other reasons just make it easier to follow through with my heart on this one.

Footsteps outside the office spur me into action. Eventually someone will come after me, and I’d prefer to be clothed and ready to leave when they do. I head to the desk where I piled my belongings when I stripped earlier.

The door opens as soon as I move from it. I peer over my shoulder to find Bruce. Gritting my teeth, I pretend his presence irritates me rather than makes me nervous. “I’m getting dressed in here.”

Ignoring the hint, he enters the room. “That’s a shame.”

“I’m asking you not to come in here.” I step into my panties and pull them up under my robe, wanting desperately to be dressed.

Bruce swaggers over to me. “Calm your tits, sweets. I’m just coming in here to make sure you’re okay.” He reaches a hand out and rests it on my upper arm. “Okay?”

I let out a breath of air, willing my shoulders to relax. Maybe I’m being paranoid where he’s concerned. The only thing Bruce is guilty of at this point is being a man in a man’s business. He just wants to do his job, and here I am f*cking with that. “Yes. Sorry. I’m just not in the right mindset for this. Things weren’t presented to me quite accurately.”

I pull at the knot at my waist and accidentally make it tighter. “Jesus Christ,” I mutter, frustrated.

“Here. Let me help you.” He grabs the ends of my belt and drags me toward him. Immediately I tense, not sure if I should be wary or not. I barely breathe as he works the knot. When it’s loosened, I start to pull away, but he pulls me back, opening my robe completely. His lip curls into a devilish smile. “Told you this wouldn’t stop me from getting you naked.”

I tug at the garment, trying to close it, but Bruce wraps each end of my belt around his hands, drawing me even closer to him.

My heart is hammering so loud in my chest, I wonder if he can hear it. “Stop it.” My voice is quiet and strained. “Please. I want you to go.”

“Hey, I’m just playing around.” He lets go of the belt, but before I can move away, his hands grip my bare hips.

“Don’t touch me.” I try again to pull away, but his fingernails dig into my skin.

His eyes are dark and full of greed as he smirks. “God, you’re such a f*cking tease. It’s really not nice when you tease like you do.”

“I’m not a tease.” Again, I try to push him away, but Bruce is stronger than me.

“You are. You took your clothes off and made me want you.” He leans against the desk and positions himself so my legs are caught in his. Now he has more freedom to rove his hands over me. He jerks me forward so my pelvis bumps against his cock. He bucks into me. “Feel that. You did that.”