Polaris Rising (Consortium Rebellion, #1)(30)

It would be so much easier if I could just call Richard up and ask. But he’d track the signal before the first word was spoken. If I could just get him alone for two minutes, I could ask him in person.

Hmm.

I set that thought aside to let it simmer in my subconscious. Getting him alone for a chat would be dangerous, but it might be necessary. If I could figure out his motivation, it would help me and House von Hasenberg.

My thoughts kept circling. I needed sleep. There wasn’t anything else I could do tonight, except give my body the rest it required. “Do you know if there are any other beds in the house?” I asked.

Loch looked up from his com with a lascivious grin. “Afraid not. But don’t worry, I don’t mind sharing.”

Sharing a bed with Marcus Loch when I wasn’t near death was a recipe for disaster. Hot, sweaty, naked disaster. Heat spread across my face and lower. Definitely lower.

Lord help me.

Loch’s grin was just knowing enough to make me want to punch him. It tempted me to play with a fire that I knew would burn. I removed my boots while I fought the desire.

I crossed the room and closed the door. I dragged the broken dresser in front of it. It was harder than Loch had made it look yesterday.

Loch snagged my wrist as I walked past him. With him sitting on the barstool, we were the same height. He usually moved so quickly and quietly that it was easy to overlook his size, but standing next to him, he was a solid wall of muscle.

“Will you give me a judgment-free minute?” I asked him softly.

His expression went guarded but finally he nodded. I stepped closer until I was standing between his legs. Desire lit his eyes. I felt it, too, but he was about to be disappointed. I needed this more right now.

Slowly I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his shoulder. He froze. After a few seconds, I whispered, “You’re supposed to hug me back.”

His arms came around me like I was made of spun glass. I gave him a little squeeze. “I’m not that fragile,” I said. “Give me a real hug.”

He crushed me to his chest. I sighed in contentment and fought the ridiculous urge to cry. Mother and Father might be as distant and untouchable as the moon, but my sisters and I were always physically affectionate. With them, hugs were frequent and touch always conveyed love and comfort. It helped to balance out some of Father’s more merciless training programs.

As we got older, hugs were often replaced by cheek kisses and handshakes, but they were busted out in cases of extra stress or emotional turmoil. I’d say this week counted. Sometimes a simple sign of affection was more powerful than a whole host of words.

Even the illusion of affection from a man I barely trusted was enough to ease my heart.

I straightened and met Loch’s eyes. True to his word, I didn’t see any judgment in them. “Thank you,” I said.

Loch’s arms remained around me, though they’d loosened enough that I could step out of his embrace if I wanted to. “You’re welcome,” he said.

His head tilted and I knew he was going to kiss me. It was my turn to freeze, torn between staying and going. His thumb caressed my lower back. “Easy,” he murmured. “Just a kiss and nothing more.”

I stood my ground even as logic dictated that I was emotionally vulnerable and this was a terrible idea. Then his lips ghosted over mine and logic lost.

A second pass as light and teasing as the first and I’d had enough. I wrapped a hand around the back of his head and pulled his mouth to mine. He groaned and obliged as if it was the sign he’d been waiting for all along.

His lips were warm and firm. The hot slide of his tongue against mine caused my hand to clench against the back of his head. Lust slammed through me and I stepped closer, trying to meld my body into his.

We were both breathing hard when he gently pushed me back. “I promised you just a kiss,” he growled.

My hormones begged me to convince him that I wanted more than a kiss. So much more. But with distance came a minute spark of clarity and I was glad for his control.

“Go to bed,” he said. “I’m going to do a perimeter check.” He paused then muttered very quietly, “And stand in the icy cold wind until I’m not acting like a fucking idiot.”

I refused to feel hurt that he thought kissing me was idiotic. “You’re injured,” I said. “You go to bed and I’ll do the perimeter check.” Honor made me offer. And maybe the tiniest desire to run and hide.

His gaze was scorching. “If I get into that bed right now, there’s only one thing I’m going to be doing, and it’s not sleeping.”

My nipples pebbled under my shirt as renewed lust blazed through my system. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the kissing he thought was dumb. Warmth bloomed in my chest even as I told myself that being happy just because he hadn’t insulted me was no way to act.

He ran a hand down his face. “But I made you a promise, and I’m keeping it, which means I’m leaving.”

He moved the dresser with much less effort than I’d used and slipped out the door into the darkened hallway without another word. The door clicked closed behind him.

I sank down on the edge of the bed and touched my lips. That just happened. And I would’ve happily climbed into bed with him, consequences and tomorrows be damned. The thought sobered me. I hadn’t had this much trouble controlling myself since I was first allowed into Consortium events as a green girl.