Point of Retreat(56)

Why the hell is this my life?

"What the hell are you doing here, Vaughn?”



She jumps and turns around. "I…I didn't know you were here," she stutters. "Reece said you weren't here last night."

"Ugh!" I yell, frustrated. I turn my back to her and rub my face with my hands, trying to sort out how the hell to fix this whole 'roommate' situation. Just as I'm about to kick Vaughn out, Reece walks into the kitchen.

"What the hell, Reece? I told you not to bring her here!"

"Chill out, Will. What's it matter? You were asleep. You didn't even know she was here."

He casually walks to the cabinet and grabs a coffee cup. He's wearing boxer shorts. She's in her bra. I can't imagine what Lake would think if she walked in right now and saw Vaughn in my kitchen in her bra. I'm thisclose to getting Lake to forgive me. This would derail my entire plan.

"Get out! Both of you, get out!" I yell.

Neither of them moves. Vaughn looks at Reece, waiting for him to say something…or do something. Reece looks at me and rolls his eyes. "Let me give you a piece of advice, Will. Any girl that can make you as miserable as you've been this week isn't worth it. You're being an ass. You need to drop that chick. Move on. If you ask me, she ain't worth it."

This little piece of advice, coming from this man who could care less about anyone but himself, pushes me over the edge. I don't even know what comes over me. I don't know if it's the comment about Lake not being worth it, or the fact that I'm now aware he lied to me for months. Either way, I lunge forward and punch the shit out of him. As soon as my fist meets his face, it's agony. Vaughn is screaming at me as I back away from him, holding onto my fist with my other hand.

Jesus! In the movies it always looks like the one being hit is the only one hurt. They never show the damage it actually does to the hands doing the hitting.

"What the hell!?" Reece yells, holding his jaw. I expect him to try to punch me back but he doesn't. Maybe deep down, he knows he deserves it.

"Don't tell me she isn't worth it," I say, turning toward the refrigerator. I reach in and grab two ice packs. I throw one to Reece and put the other one on my fist. "And thanks, Reece….for being such a great friend. After my parents died and she broke up with me…" I point to Vaughn when I say 'she.' "You were the only one willing to stick around and help me through it. Too bad I didn't know you were helping her out, too."

Reece looks at Vaughn. "You told him?" he says.

Vaughn looks confused. "I thought he knew," she says defensively.

When Reece realizes I now know he dated Vaughn during the lowest point of my life, he becomes flustered. "Will, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just happened."

I shake my head. "Things like that don't just happen, Reece. We've been best friends since we were ten! My whole damn world collapsed around me. For an entire month you acted like you were trying to help me get her back, but instead you were screwing her!"

Neither of them can look me in the eyes. "I know I said I'd let you stay here, but things are different now." I throw the icepack on the counter and walk toward the hallway. "I want you both gone. Now."

I shut my bedroom door behind me and collapse onto the bed. I can probably count the friends I have left on one hand. Actually, I can count them on one finger. I lay there for a while longer, wondering how I could have been so blind to his selfishness. I hear Reece walk to the spare bedroom, then the bathroom, packing up his things. I don't come back out of the bedroom until I'm positive they're both gone. When I hear his car pull away, I walk to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. I guess I’ll have to start making my own coffee again.

This isn’t a very good start to the day. I reach into the cabinet and grab a star out of the vase and unfold it.

"I want to have friends that I can trust, who love me for the man I've become…not the man that I was." -The Avett Brothers.

As soon as I read it, I look over my shoulder…half expecting Julia to be there smiling. It's eerie sometimes how fitting these quotes have been to the situation. Almost like she's writing them as life is happening…



Thursday, January 26th, 2012.

I can only hope that the next entry I write into this journal after my performance tonight will be something like this: