Playing It Safe(66)

“You think?” I ask sarcastically.

A small chuckle escapes him before he says, “After seeing you at the engagement party, it brought up all those old feelings again.”

“Feelings?”

“Not like that,” he says. “I mean the feelings of guilt over what I did to you.”

“Oh,” I say in a small voice.

“I don’t expect you to accept my apology, but I need to say it.” Aiden takes a quick breath and then finally says those magic words. “I’m sorry.”

It’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop. I take the opportunity of silence to gather my thoughts on those two little words. Everything hinges on them. At least for me they do. Do I believe him? Or is it that I am all of a sudden so desperate to want to believe him that I’m willing to accept his apology and finally let it all go? Dammit. The scorned bitch in me doesn’t want to so fast. It’s like she’s hanging on for dear life. But there is another part of me that rarely shows itself to the outside world, that needs to let it all go. That logical and very sensible part of me knows that I need to accept his apology and move the hell on with my life once and for all. That part of me knows that there is a certain amount of freedom in forgiveness and is ultimately why I choose to tolerate his words.

“I accept your apology, Aiden. Even though it’s five years late, I’ll take it,” I say with a hint of hesitation that makes him chuckle again.

“I know it’s not easy for you, Julia, but thank you. I needed to say it, whether you believed me or not.”

“Don’t get too excited. I still don’t like you very much.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he says with a wide grin.

In spite of myself, a matching grin fights its way onto my face.

“Who knows, maybe we can be actual friends one day,” he says.

“Slow your roll there, big guy,” I reply with a laugh. “How about I agree not to spit in your general direction the next time we see each other and work ourselves up from there.”

“Fair enough.” He nods and then tilts his head to the side while looking me over thoughtfully. “So how are things going with Alex? You know, the guy I saw you with the other night. His name is Alex, right?”

“It is, and I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

An awkward silence ensues, and I take a moment to glance at my watch. “Listen, Aiden, I think it’s best if we just end this conversation right here and call it a day.”

“You’re right, it’s none of my business. I’m sorry, it’s just that … never mind.” He seems indecisive for a second and then stands up. “It was great to finally get a chance to talk to you, Julia. Thank you again.”

Aiden turns and starts walking toward my door, but dammit all to hell if that little bit of “never mind” doesn’t already start chewing away at my curiosity.

“Aiden, wait,” I say and stand up.

He stops at the door and turns around to face me.

I reach him in a few short strides and ask, “What were you going to say about Alex?”

“Julia, I’m sure it’s nothing, and you’re right, it’s really none of my business.”

I roll my eyes because when someone says something like that to you, they have to be crazy to think that you wouldn’t want to hear whatever it is they know.

“Fine,” he says in a sigh. “It’s just that Sophia seemed to think they’re quite serious. She’s friends with her, I’m sorry I don’t remember her name but—”

“It’s Marisa.”

His lips turn up in a half smile. “Yes, that’s the one. I guess Sophia knows her pretty well, and Marisa told her that they are very happy together.”

“Well that was before we started dating,” I say a tad too defensively.

Aiden leans forward and puts his hand lightly on my arm. “Julia, she also told Sophia that they’ve started talking about marriage.”

Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? Well that’s exactly what it feels like when Aiden drops this little nugget of information on my lap. Actually, it feels worse. More like someone punched me in the gut and then kicked me in the heart for good measure.

“Look,” he says in a soft voice, “I just thought you should know. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Again,” I say through clenched teeth.

He lets go of my arm and nods his head in silent agreement.

“I’m sorry, Julia,” he says quietly and opens the door to my office, leaving me standing at the threshold in absolute shock.

I walk back to my desk and plop my ass down in the chair in a daze. Think, Julia, think. Shit, I can’t think, at least not clearly after what I just found out. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to believe Aiden. When I replay his visit in my mind, it’s almost a bit too contrite. Like he was really playing up the apology angle and I just fell for it hook, line, and sinker. But … what does he have to gain from telling me any of it, apology included? Nothing.

On the other side of the fence is Alex, who has told me very little about Marisa but enough that I was convinced there was nothing going on there. Am I simply blind to what has been right in front of me all along? Or is he really telling me all there is to know about his relationship with her?