Playing Dirty (Risky Business, #2)(80)

Before I could utter another word, he was gone.

I stared in shock at the empty space where he’d been, unable to believe what had just happened. My chest ached and pain stabbed me with every breath I took. After last night, how could he just throw away what we had together? We had a connection, something that went deeper than anything I’d ever felt before. He had to have felt it, too.

Or maybe he hadn’t.

It was hard to breathe and my knees were too weak to hold me. I sank to my knees on the floor of my closet and crossed my arms over my middle, holding on tight. I choked on a sob and realized I was crying. How long had I been crying?

I had to pull myself together, when all I really wanted to do was curl up in a ball in my closet and sink into a pool of miserable self-pity. Had Parker not felt like I did? I was in love with him and I’d assumed he loved me back, or else why would he have done what he had last night, said the things he’d said?

But he didn’t love me. All this time I’d kept my love for him alive, even when I shouldn’t have, unable to kill that last tiny shred of hope that wished so desperately for more between us. Last night I’d thought it had finally paid off. The realization that I’d been very, very wrong stripped my dignity to the bone, leaving me feeling vulnerable, naked, and exposed.

I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes, halting the flow of tears. I had to be angry about how Parker had misled me, used me, and discarded me. Otherwise the heartbreak and hurt would cripple me.

After splashing water on my blotchy, tear-stained face, I brushed my teeth and hair, then dressed in jeans and a black, long-sleeved shirt.

Tennis shoes seemed the wisest choice, and I braided my hair in a French braid, the familiar workings of my fingers comforting me. Though it took me two unsuccessful attempts before I finally got it on the third try. My hands were trembling and whenever I let my mind wander to last night, it felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I took a deep breath before leaving my room, giving myself a pep talk. “You can do this,” I muttered. Facing both Parker and Ryker felt like a daunting task. Parker had made me ashamed and embarrassed about last night and how I felt about him. And what to do about Ryker? If I told him the truth, he’d probably kill Parker … and me. Maybe it was best to just do what Parker had said and pretend it had never happened.

Even if it was impossible for me to forget.

They were both downstairs sitting in opposite chairs in the front parlor talking when I stepped into the room. I tried not to think about anything, my emotions numb. They glanced at me as I took a seat away from them both.

I looked at Ryker, keeping my gaze averted from Parker. “So what’s the plan?” I asked, wincing a little at the leftover roughness in my voice from crying. I cleared my throat. “Where are we going?”

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “You’re staying here. Parker and I will take care of Viktor.”

I bristled at this. “Why should I stay behind while you two get to go? I want to see Viktor go down, too. He tried to kill me, for crying out loud!”

“I know, but let’s be real, Sage. You’re not trained for this. Let us do what we know how to do, and keep you out of it.”

What he said made sense, but I hated not being able to be there when they got Viktor. That man had terrorized me on several occasions and I wanted to see justice done, up close and personal.

“It makes the most sense, Sage,” Parker said in his let’s-be-reasonable voice.

I stiffened, then completely ignored him, directing my response to Ryker. “Fine. I’ll stay. But only if you swear you’ll call me as soon as it’s done.”

Digging in his pocket, he handed me his cell. “Here. Keep this. I’ve got a burner phone I’m using while I’m on the job.”

“Okay.” I clutched it in my hand, wondering how I was going to sit and wait for hours to find out what had happened. And if they were safe.

They both stood and that was when I saw they were armed. Parker had his weapon in the small of his back and he took it out. He popped the magazine and checked the bullets before slamming it home again. I hurriedly looked away just as he lifted his gaze.

Both men flanked me and I could nearly feel the testosterone in the air as the prospect of what was to come had them on high alert. They looked like men you didn’t want to f*ck with, both sporting a day or more’s worth of stubble on their jaws, tight T-shirts that stretched across layers of muscle, wide shoulders, and biceps that said pumping iron was a leisurely hobby they did as easily as breathing.

“It’ll be okay,” Ryker said, sensing my growing worry and unease. Sliding a hand to the back of my neck, he pulled me close for a kiss. At the last second, I turned my head so his lips landed on my cheek.

“Yeah, be safe,” I said, giving him a tight squeeze before nervously stepping away.

He looked at me strangely, but didn’t make a comment. “Okay, let’s go,” he said to Parker, then headed out the parlor door into the foyer.

The last thing I wanted was to be in the same room with Parker, so I started to follow Ryker, only to be caught up short by Parker hooking his finger in a belt loop at the back of my jeans. It was the wrong move. I was tired of being pushed around, by both of them, and I spun around, knocking his arm away from me.

“Sage, I just want to say—”