Play Fair (The Devil's Share Book 3)(54)
Lexi set her fork down. “You two want to share with the rest of the family what the hell has you so bummed and withdrawn? It’s like you have black rain clouds over your heads.”
I glanced over at Landry. She was finished eating and her eyes were darting around the table. “Hey, Buttercup? You want to take Dagger upstairs and put on a movie? You guys can both get in our bed.” She rolled her eyes, getting up and calling Dagger to her side. I turned to Bryan. “When did she start rolling her eyes?”
She huffed out an irritated laugh. “Everyone in this house rolls their eyes. She was bound to pick it up. And she knows when we want to talk about grown-up stuff without her. She is nine, not three.”
Why the hell was I getting Bryan’s attitude? Did I do something wrong? It wasn’t my fault the social worker had decided to drop that bomb on us today. I was just as freaked out as she was. We’d never fought before, not once. Which was probably because I never pushed her on anything. I didn’t try to make her talk about her feelings or the future. I just let it all ride, let it be fun. But the fun was over, Diane had made sure of that.
Lexi crossed her arms over her ever-growing chest, resting them on the top of her huge baby bump. “What the hell is going on with you two? This morning I heard you making out in the pantry and now you won’t even look at each other.”
I studied my plate, keeping my eyes down. “Diane told us that we need to be very certain about our future, about what we are doing together. The courts ‘don’t like temporary.’ She said that if Bryan and I break up it would be another abandonment for Landry.” It would probably be an even worse abandonment. From what Mark had told us, Landry’s mother was never much of a mother. She didn’t abuse Landry in the physical sense, but she certainly really never took care of her. Or worried about her health, or safety, or happiness. It was a point in our favor with the judge, but it made the fact that Bryan could leave all the more catastrophic. Which was a point against us.
Dylan cleared her throat. “Because Bryan has become a mother to her…and because Bryan could up and leave whenever she felt like it.”
Smith grabbed Dylan’s hand. “Cher, maybe now isn’t the time.”
She ignored him and looked across the table. “Didn’t I tell you that you needed to be careful? That you couldn’t take care of all this for him? Now, she thinks of you like a mom.”
Bryan took a deep steadying breath. “Dylan, please don’t start—”
But she kept on. “You feed her, you make sure she is safe, you run her days, you take care of her, and you’re in charge. But you aren’t permanent.”
“No.” I slammed my fist on the table, making everyone jump. “Landry thinks of Bryan like a mother because she loves her. Because she reads to her at night, because she cuddles with her on the couch, because they laugh and talk and play.” I moved my chair back, turning to Bryan. “Are you bored? Are you ready to run? Because it sure doesn’t seem that way when you fall asleep in my arms every night. We can make them see. We can prove that us together is what’s good for Landry.” I grabbed Bryan’s hand. I kissed her knuckles, then let go. “But you are going to have to stand up for us too. Can you do that? Can you tell them that you aren’t going anywhere?” I wanted to get down on my knees and beg her to never leave us. To stay with me, to be mine forever. But I’d already asked too much of her, she’d already sacrificed so much. She needed to decide what she wanted. Because Diane was right about one thing: if things ended between Bryan and me, it would crush me but it would wreck Landry. And I wouldn’t let that happen to my daughter, not again.
Bryan looked over at her sister, then at me, wiping a tear from her eye. “I think, for the time being, that I should go back to South Carolina.”
“What?” The air left my lungs.
Bryan closed her eyes, another tear escaping. “I won’t be the reason you lose Landry. I won’t be the reason she has to go back with her mom. We aren’t married, and I’m not sure I’ll ever want that.”
“You can’t be serious?” I was starting to shake; I couldn’t stop it.
She shrugged like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just ripped my heart out. “I wish I knew.” She took a deep breath, straightening in her chair. “But I don’t. I’m flighty; I can’t ever be sure.” She reached for my hand, and I jerked away from her.
“If you want to run, be my guest.” I got up and walked away.
Chapter Twenty-six
Bryan
When Jacks left the table, I let the tears fall. I didn’t want to run, I didn’t want to leave them, ever. I didn’t want to lose Landry any more than I wanted her to lose me. I loved her, I loved Jacks, I loved this little family we had formed over the past weeks. But I couldn’t risk it. I had to make sure Landry ended up where she belonged, which was with her dad. If I had to hurt Jacks to keep from hurting Landry, then so be it. Because that’s what parents are supposed to do for their kids, put them first. Protect them at all cost.
“Baby Dil? You okay?”
I looked up at Lexi’s concerned voice. “I have no idea.”
Lexi’s face hardened. “You want me to kick that old lady’s ass?”
I wiped a tear from my eye before it had time to fall. “No. She was right. We can’t just keep playing house without thinking of the consequences. She was just doing her job, looking out for Landry’s best interests.”