Pieces of Summer (A stand-alone novel)(85)

She doesn’t move, but I can hear the hitch in her breath. When she doesn’t respond, I go on.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you after summer.” I smile broader, but it backfires on me.

“Funny. It’s not the first time I’ve seen you after summer,” she says flatly. “Maybe I should have f*cked someone else to end things the way you did.”

Fuck.

“I was a kid. As stupid as it sounds, I thought I was being strong and noble, when in reality I was being weak and a coward,” I confess.

Slowly, some of her tension leaves. “You did what you thought was right. In the end, it worked out. Everything happens for a reason. Now leave me alone so I can return the favor.”

The coldness is gone from her voice, and her pain carries through despite her attempts to mask it.

“Eleven years ago, summer came and you weren’t there,” I tell her on a sigh. She tenses again, but I continue. “I’ve spent all this time thinking I did the right thing, even though I resented you for deserving better. But in truth, I used it as an excuse.”

She turns her head toward me with questioning eyes.

“I never thought I’d be better than what I came from,” I confess, watching her frown. “Letting you go because you deserved better was the easy way out. It meant I couldn’t f*ck it up later on and lose you. I wouldn’t be able to destroy you the way my parents destroyed each other. It was weak, Mika. Not strong. I labeled it with good intentions, when in reality, it was a scared kid making a childish decision.”





Chapter 51


MIKA



I know what he’s doing, but it still hurts to hear him say the words. He’s spinning the story now, trying to give me a different outlook. It’s not enough to make me change my mind, but hearing the sincerity is making me second guess myself.

And that’s not fair.

That seems to be the status quo for my life, though.

“You’re being manipulative,” I grumble.

I expect him to smirk or something, but the genuine look he gives me hurts just a little bit more. Damn it. Damn him. Damn all of them.

“I’m not. I’m just finally being honest with myself and with you.” He blows out a heavy breath. “If you’d have left me after I finally had you, it would have destroyed me.”

My heart clenches in my chest, and I stare ahead.

“It wouldn’t have mattered. We couldn’t have been together. I was hurt. I was damaged. Still am. It is what it is, Chase.”

It gets harder to breathe when he moves to be behind me, and his hands slide up my arms, resting on my shoulders before moving back down in a slow, soothing motion. He repeats the process, finding a rhythm, and my breaths grow heavier when he leans his face into my neck.

When his breath fans against my skin, I close my eyes and curse myself for being weak as I lean against him.

“In some way, everyone is damaged,” he states so naively.

I snort, trying not to laugh. It’s a sad laugh I’m restraining.

“I’ve been living by your rules since you left,” he says suddenly, surprising me.

My eyes fly open, and my entire body tenses. I try to speak, but no words form.

“I went to see Dr. Stein,” he goes on. “Explained to her the special case my girlfriend has.” He grins against my neck before kissing a small patch of skin. “I’m currently renting my tat shop to an old friend of mine. I no longer have a schedule. I haven’t had to check off a single box in five weeks.”

My eyes close again, and a single tear escapes.

“You can’t give up your shop,” I whisper.

“Already have.”

“No,” I snap, trying to wrench away, but there’s nowhere to go, since there’s a large drop from my seat to the ground, and he’s surrounding every other escape. “I refuse to let you give up your damn dreams for me.”

An embarrassing squeal escapes me when I’m suddenly being lifted and spun around, until two blue eyes holding grim determination are staring into mine. Chase steps between my legs, and his hands settle on the railing on either side of my hips. I’m forced to grab his shoulders to keep my balance, which brings us even closer.

“My dreams were to run a damn bowling alley with the only girl I’ve ever loved. She was insanely beautiful, passionate, completely spontaneous, and f*cking perfect. So, if you’re interested on making my dreams come true…”

He lets his words trail off as a smirk begins to play on his lips.

“I’m not—”

“You’re not beautiful?” he muses, making a show of raking his eyes over me. “Tell that to my body that appreciates the way you’ve changed. You’re not passionate? You should feel the way you kiss or read what you write. You’re not completely spontaneous? That’s not even up for debate. You’re still f*cking perfect, Mika. I’m just asking for a chance for us to work together. That’s it. Just a chance.”

I really hate how easy it is to forget the disaster we are.

“Just a chance is dangerous for me,” I remind him. “Emotions are… They’re a f*cking wild card from hell, Chase. I… I lost it. Something as simple as a shift in plans sent me spiraling into the madness so deep that I destroyed my brother all over again. My brother isn’t even allowed to show me physical affection. Do you know that? Seven years. I went seven years without any physical harm to myself. Do you understand?”