Pieces of Summer (A stand-alone novel)(39)

He’s not fishing for pity, so I don’t offer any. Chase has always been able to speak honestly with me, and not worry about it changing the way I treated him. Apparently he still thinks that’s okay to do, and I don’t want to say any differently.

It hurts a little deeper now to hear his pain though. I think that comes with age and experience with my own pain.

“Why can’t you sleep?” he asks, brushing my hair off my shoulder and leaving his fingertips lingering on my skin like he’s testing how close I’ll let him get.

Swallowing the instant knot in my throat, I shrug.

“Bad dreams.”

He frowns while leaning closer, and my breath freezes in my lungs when he runs his lips across my shoulder, watching me for my reaction.

“What kind of dreams? Maybe I can help you get rid of them,” he says softly as his breath whispers across my skin. “You used to help chase mine away,” he adds.

Warmth blooms across my skin, moving down to my core, and my thighs tighten as I squirm in my seat. Four… Three… How many years? Maybe I could be ready? I haven’t spoken to my therapist in too long, but she might consider me ready… I haven’t had an episode in at least seven years. At least not a bad one. I’ve had smaller episodes since then, but the major ones are behind me. Right?

And here I am willing to risk absolutely everything because it’s Chase James. Shit. I’m doing that internal rambling thing again.

“Just random dreams,” I lie, but the words are nothing more than a hoarse whisper when he continues to run his lips over my skin.

“I was thinking… Maybe tomorrow I could pick you up after I close the shop, and we could go to the bowling alley together. Have you even bowled at all since you bought the place?”

I shake my head, but my mind drifts back to the days when we used to drive for an hour just to bowl at the nearest spot. Dad would go out of his way to take us before I had my license. He loved seeing us have fun out there, and he’d let us stay until it closed. We’d go at least ten times a summer.

“I remember what we did that last summer in that bowling alley you’re thinking about right now,” he says, grinning against my shoulder.

How does he know I’m thinking about it?

As if he plucked the memory from my mind and put it in a video reel, it starts playing out in my head. It was the summer I finally got to drive, and I drove us out there in Dad’s BMW. We’d stayed until closing, and the owner was in the back, smoking pot like he did every weekend. It was just us, and Chase was more desperate to have me than usual that night.

From the second I took his virginity, we spent almost every waking moment that summer doing insanely stupid things like having sex on a bowling alley floor with no condom. It was a miracle I never got pregnant.

“I was crazy about you,” he tells me, kissing lower on my shoulder and making me regret this slinky shirt with straps instead of sleeves. “Wish I could say that wasn’t the case anymore, but you’re like a drug that won’t let me go, Mika. But tell me to go away, and I promise I’ll leave you alone.”

My breaths grow heavier as I turn to face him, and I contemplate my options. No fours. Never four. Don’t let four get in the way. Four is a trigger. Four days and four nights can’t happen.

“I’ll go bowling with you tomorrow,” I tell him, watching the way his boyish grin appears and makes it worth the possible trigger I’m pulling.

“Good.”

He remembers me as the fun, quirky, tough girl. The light at the end of his dark tunnel. It makes me miss the girl I once was, and desperate to feel like she did once again.

Strong. Fearless. In control. I want to be her so bad that it hurts.

Maybe I can write her into my story again. Maybe I can control it.

Instead of saying anything else, I get up and head inside, letting him kiss my hand on the way by. The feel of his lips lingers on my hand, and I close my eyes and take deep breaths.

Maybe I can be the girl I used to be if there’s a reason for me to try.

He stands abruptly, and his arms come around my waist, pulling my back to his front. “I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow.”

Shit. Why did he have to give me a time? Damn it.

“Exactly six,” I say quietly.

“Exactly,” he promises.





Chapter 25


CHASE



“Big brother called me today,” Blake says as he walks into my shop, looking over at me as I finish dabbing away the excess ink on the spine of the girl who is lying face-down in my chair.

“Who?” I ask absently, moving around to examine my work.

“Aidan. He called. Asked if I’d seen his sister out any. What’s his deal? And why is he calling me? I don’t know him.”

“Hell if I know,” I tell him as the chick in my chair stands up and gives me a naked shot of her chest.

I don’t even acknowledge it as I turn around and grab the aftercare bag. Glad I make them prepay. It means I can just walk away while she takes her time putting her shirt on.

She doesn’t bat an eye as she faces Blake, and he gives her a lopsided grin while staring at her rack.

“What’d you tell him?” I ask Blake as I go over to the sink to wash my hands.

“Told him she was getting out some, but didn’t go into details. Obviously. He asked if you were staying away. I didn’t want to lie, so I told him you were doing your own thing.”