Picking Up the Pieces (Pieces, #2)(44)

If I tell Lily about the job possibility, I thought, I won’t f*ck this up. I can’t f*ck this up. So I used that as my motivation when I’d texted to ask her if she wanted to meet for lunch the following day. I said I had big news to share, and I’d wanted to share it in person.

At 10:45 the next morning, I arrived at a diner across from Swift Middle School. Seated facing the door, I waited, not so patiently, for Lily to arrive. Her lunch period was from 10:48 to 11:36. I briefly wondered who could eat lunch that f*cking early on a daily basis, before I remembered that last year I had done exactly that. Though I’d been free to come and go as I pleased at the school, I’d chosen to eat lunch fifth period so I could eat with Lily.

And for some reason that thought calmed me, comforted me even. That ten months ago at nearly this very minute, I could have been doing this exact same thing: eating lunch across from Lily as we talked to each other about how our day had been so far. Or at least we would be doing this exact thing if she ever friggin' got here?

I had just looked down at my watch for the twentieth time when I heard the jingle of the bell on the door. And as I watched Lily stroll confidently toward me, I felt a stupid grin creep across my face. Her black pants fit tightly to her legs, and my gaze traced the length of them before it made its way up to those eyes that I always loved so much. Eyes that I loved even more on days like today, when the sunlight brought out the specks of gold in them that I was sure she’d never even noticed herself.

“Hey, Max,” she said as she pulled the silky strands of chestnut hair around the back of her neck to rest on the front of her shoulder. The sweet smell of her coconut shampoo washed over me, waking me from my trance. “I’m happy you asked me to meet.”

“You are?” Not only was I excited to tell Lily about the job opportunity, I was even more excited at the idea that she seemed eager to see me.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you in a few weeks, and a lot’s happened.”

She paused for a minute or so to peruse the menu, and I motioned for the waitress to come take our order once Lily seemed ready. I knew she had to be back in about forty-five minutes and didn’t want her to be late. “So what’s up?” I asked. I could tell she was in an unusually upbeat mood, and I was eager to find out why she was so happy.

I didn’t know what I expected her to say. Maybe she’d won the lottery. Or she’d gotten a new puppy. Was it possible that she’d just found out Christmas break was starting a week early? Whatever it was, I hadn’t seen Lily that excited in as long as I could remember. I only wished that when she started to speak, I could have maintained my excitement for her. Or at least faked it better than I had.

But the moment I heard Adam’s name leave her lips, I felt my face drop. Trying to think of anything else than what she was saying, I did my best to tune her out. Unfortunately, my best wasn’t good enough. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t help but hear at least some of the words. Adam and I . . . dating again . . . a few weeks . . . seems to be going well.

I felt my eyes glaze over as I tried to maintain eye contact. Every word out of her beautiful mouth was like a nail across a chalkboard, making my blood run cold. And my visceral reaction surprised me.

I knew I should be happy for her. She’d lost him because of me, and we were only friends now. What right did I have to think the thoughts that ran through my head—that *’s hand across her cheek as he kissed her, his words making her smile? I wanted her to smile at what I said.

“Enough about me, though. What news did you have? You seemed so excited when you texted.”

“Uh . . . yeah, I do have news.” I bit my lip to keep from saying what I’d gone there to tell her, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe I didn’t want my moment to be tainted by the sound of that douchebag’s name as it hung in the air between us. Or maybe I just didn’t think she’d give a shit about what I had to say. But most of all, I think I just didn’t give a shit about it myself anymore. “My dad got a new fishing pole the other day,” I said.

“That’s the big news?” she replied. “You’re becoming more like him every day. Should I alert the authorities?”

I savored the sound of the subtle laugh that escaped her and focused on the smile that played on the corners of her mouth. It was the best thing I’d seen all day. Because I had been the one to put it there.

***

Despite the fact that I managed to fake my way through enjoying the rest of our lunch, inside I felt like something was missing. Like the part of herself Lily had been sharing with me for the past few months would now be suddenly shared with him. I didn’t even know what part that was. I just knew I didn’t want that * to have any of her.

But I could never tell her that.

So I told her I was happy for her. Happy for him even. And happy for the two of them. Together. God, those words tasted bitter as I said them.

So by the next day, I was in desperate need of a night out with the boys. I wanted something to wash the thoughts of Lily and Adam from my cluttered brain. And what better way to do that than with alcohol?





Chapter 18: Lily


My relationship with Adam had been progressing . . . slowly. Up until about two weeks ago, that was. It was as if Adam had experienced some kind of epiphany over Thanksgiving that had prompted him to kick our relationship up a notch. He had begun to call me every night, made an effort to see me as often as possible, and the sexual tension between us was palpable.