Picking Up the Pieces (Pieces, #2)(32)

This man did not just diss me on my birthday. But when I looked over at Lily, I couldn’t say I blamed him. I'd have gone straight for her too.

"How are you, my dear?" my dad asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

I turned toward my mom, who had been following right behind him. She simply shrugged her shoulders at me and let a soft giggle escape from her lips.

I reached my hand up to my dad's shoulder and gently ripped him away from Lily. "Listen, old man. Don't forget who chooses what home you go into when mom gets tired of your cranky ass."

He laughed that hearty laugh that I loved and smiled. "Stop threatening me and get over here."

He pulled me into a strong, chest-constricting embrace that made me feel so loved I could barely stand it. I stored this memory into the recesses of my brain so that I could one day pull it out and remind myself to hug my own child exactly like this.

"Sorry we're late," my mom said as she edged my dad away from me so that she could move closer. "I give your father one thing to do, and does he do it? Of course not."

"Aww, come on, doll. Max would've understood if we hadn't brought him a card."

"You forgot to get me a birthday card? What kind of father are you?" I asked, acting insulted.

"Listen, if I had to remember to get all of my children birthday cards, I'd have little time for anything else."

"Dad, I'm your only child."

"Semantics," he declared as he waved a hand at me.

"Did you forget to take your pill or something?" I asked, trying but failing, to keep the amusement from my voice.

"You mean my Viagra? No, I made sure to take that," he replied as he wagged his eyebrows at my mother.

"Bill, stop that! How embarrassing," my mom huffed as she walked over to Lily and gave her a hug and quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for making my thirtieth birthday traumatic, Dad. Nothing like a good 'ole dad-violating-mom story to make shit memorable," I grumbled as I watched my mom give Lily an extra squeeze before releasing her.

"Today is the perfect day for such talk. How do you think you got here?"

"Dad, I swear, if you don't stop talking, I’m gonna puke."

"Anyway," my mom interrupted, "here is your card. We'll put your gift over on the table with the others. Bill, can you go check on Aunt Gladys?"

"Hell no!" my dad yelled at the same time I said, "You brought Aunt Gladys?" I felt an accusing glare creep onto my face. What the hell were they thinking?

"Who's Aunt Gladys?" Lily asked.

I heard Trevor laughing behind me. Asshole.

"Oh, Trevor, I didn't see you. How are you?" my mom asked as she moved toward him to greet him.

"Forget him," I whined, blocking her path. "Why did you bring Aunt Gladys?"

My mom's features grew stern as she reprimanded me. "Because she's your great aunt, that's why. She has as much right to be here as anyone else and you will be nice to her or, I swear to you, Max, I will kill you."

This wasn't the first time my mom had threatened me with bodily harm, but it always made me laugh. My mother had never touched me with anything other than love and affection. Maybe if she had, I wouldn't have turned out to be such a prick. "Okay, Okay, I'll be nice. But where is she?"

My dad replied quickly. "Bathroom."

"Oh, no," I groaned.

Lily looked at us completely perplexed. "If you need someone to go check on her, I'd be happy to . . ."

"No," my dad and I both yelped in unison, resulting in an icy glare from my mother.

My dad gripped Lily's shoulders like he was warning her about her imminent death. "Lily, whatever you do, stay away from the bathroom when Aunt Gladys is in there. Please, dear, promise me. Promise!" he hollered at her when she didn't immediately reply.

"You two stop this right now," my mom scolded as she elbowed my father in the ribs. "Aunt Gladys just has some bowel problems is all. It's not that bad."

"Not that bad if you're comparing it to gutting a human," my father muttered under his breath.

Lily looked horrified at the three of us and then burst out laughing. She was nearly hysterical when we all joined in, tears streaming down our faces.

"What did I miss?" We all laughed harder as we whipped around to look upon Aunt Gladys hobbling toward us. My stomach cramped as I walked over to give her a swift hug and thank her for coming.

"So, Aunt Gladys, everything, umm . . . go okay?" my father asked, trying like hell to maintain a straight face. Goddamn him for asking this question. We all shook as we tried to restrain ourselves.

"Yeah, all good. Left something fierce in that toilet though. Where's the food?" And with that pearl of information, she walked away from us in search of hors' d'oeuvres.

We all looked at each other before rolling with a new wave of laughter. I gripped my hand on the bar to keep myself from doubling over onto the floor.

"Jesus Christ, why would she tell us that?" I said as I tried to catch my breath.

"I don't know, but I'm so glad she did," Trevor sputtered.

"Alright, alright, enough," my mom sniffed as she wiped her cheeks dry. "Come on, Bill, let's go say hi to everyone."