Picking Up the Pieces (Pieces, #2)(3)

She began wringing her hands as she listened to my bullshit. “Things don’t just present themselves, Max. You need to work for them. And don’t you dare tell me not to worry. You know damn well that I have every reason to worry.”

I had no response to this. The truth was, she did have every right to worry. If I cared more about my well-being, I’d be worried too. I was a mess. “I’m sorry that I’m such a pain in the ass.” I dropped my eyes to the floor, unable to look at her as I spoke.

She sighed heavily as her hand reached up and touched my cheek. “Max, look at me.”

I lifted my eyes hesitantly.

“I love you. I will always love you, and you’ve made us incredibly proud in many, many ways. But there is a great life waiting out there for you, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t pain me to see you content to just let it all pass you by. I know you’re hurting and I know you’re bitter. But no one can make any of that better except you. It’s time to deal with your problems and start working to fix them. It’s time to grow up, darling.”

Her words didn’t surprise me. I had said variations of them to myself over the past few months. But saying them and doing them were two different things. I just wasn’t up for fixing my life right now. “I’ll call Jack today,” was all I could offer her, and it sounded as half-hearted as it felt.

She simply nodded, knowing damn well that I wasn’t going to call. “Okay then, I guess I’ll head home. Your father said he’d have breakfast waiting when I got there. If you hear about a death due to food poisoning, just remember that my will is in the safe in my bedroom closet.” She shifted even closer to me, the weight of our conversation slowing her down, making her seem weary.

I leaned down so she could kiss my cheek, but she withdrew right before her lips were about to make contact. I looked down at her to see her staring behind me, and I turned to see what had caught her attention. Fuck! Standing on the stairs, wearing my T-shirt but no pants, was Gina/Jamie/Jenna.

“Sorry to interrupt. I just wasn’t sure if you wanted me to make you some breakfast before I left for work.”

Breakfast? Is this bitch insane? “No, I’m fine,” I said through gritted teeth. “But help yourself. The kitchen is that way.”

The . . . girl seemed to take the hint, because she scampered off in the direction I pointed. By the time I turned back to my mom, she had already opened the door and was beginning to pull it closed behind her. But she stopped before it closed all the way and, without turning back toward me, began talking. “You know, you can sleep your way through this entire state, Max. It’ll never fill the void she left. It'll only make it deeper.” And with that, she closed the door the rest of the way and left.

I stood there for a minute, just staring at the door. Nothing I could say would justify my recent behavior. I knew that she was right, but there was something about having it actually said out loud that affected me on a much deeper level than it had before. I finally ran my hand through my hair and turned toward the kitchen, wondering if I could get another blowjob before I got this chick the hell out of my house.





Chapter 2: Lily


Standing in line at the coffee shop, I deliberated about my order. Today was my first day back to work since the summer ended, and if previous years had been any indication, I had a day of long, boring meetings ahead of me.

But I needed to tread a delicate balance with my order. Too much caffeine and I’d be itching to get up and move around. I made it a habit of sitting on the aisle during in-service days so I could take frequent breaks. If I took any more, people would start to think I had irritable bowel syndrome or something. But the alternative didn’t seem feasible either: too little caffeine and I’d fall asleep in the auditorium seat. Of course, Glen McCallum, one of our history teachers, dozed off routinely at thirty-minute faculty meetings and no one said shit to him.

Finally deciding on a medium mocha latte, I dropped my eyes from the menu above the baristas’ heads and leaned to the right to count the number of people ahead of me. As usual, I was running late. One . . . two . . . three . . . I felt my muscles tense involuntarily. Shit. No, that can’t be him. I hadn’t seen him in nearly five months, and I had been to this coffee shop dozens of times since then. Of course, my summer schedule had been much different from Adam’s. I rarely rose before 10:30 in the morning, and he’d already be at work by that time. The chances of us running into one another here would have been slim to none.

As he ran a hand through the back of his thick blond hair and waited patiently for his order, my heart pounded so loudly in my chest I was certain he’d turn around to see what the noise was. I could leave without being noticed. Just remove myself from the line and slip out the door.

But I couldn’t. Well, I could. I just didn’t want to. There was no denying that I had thought about him often since our break-up, despite the fact that I had become more independent and self-assured. If Adam met the new me, he’d surely realize I had changed. The selfish Lily who needed a man to love her and accept her had vanished. I loved and accepted myself, and that was enough. Sure, I wanted someone to share my life with. But I didn’t need someone.

In order to get his attention, I thought briefly about pushing in front of him and making some asinine comment like I had on the day we’d met. But I thought better of it. Instead, I let my eyes appraise his strong shoulders beneath his baby blue dress shirt.