Perfectly Imperfect(33)
“I told you, I don’t lie. I don’t have a girlfriend, Willow.”
I sigh, shifting again before pulling at my top when I feel it tighten against my belly. I don’t miss the way that his eyes move to follow my hands movements.
Crap.
“I’m going to be honest,” I warn him, shifting again. My body betraying the calm I’m trying to present outwardly.
“Please do.” He nods, the hand still holding mine and giving me a squeeze before his dexterous fingers sweep across my wrist, spiking my already pounding heart to dangerous levels.
“Okay,” I squeak, clearing my throat. I look down at our connected hands and take a deep breath. “You … the things you talk about … crap.”
“Willow, you can speak your mind,” he assures, his voice calm and low.
“This has never happened to me. I’m not sure I can be the person you want me to be.” Spit it out, dang it. “You’ve seen me twice before, that I know of, and both of those times could probably sum up the downward spiral of my life. I’ve been a roller coaster of dips and turns that have made me a skeptical person who doesn’t have the type of … confidence that you seem to exude. I’ve learned it’s easier to tighten my buckle and take the safer rides in life. Ones that don’t set me up to fall on my tail.”
He’s quiet for a moment when I finish speaking, but his eyes are telling me everything his silence isn’t. Kane is a smart man, so I’m sure he’s reading between the lines with no difficulties at all.
“Three times,” he says confusing me for a second before I remember his claim to have seen me years before.
“So you say,” I respond.
“We’ll come back to that,” he promises with purpose. “You say it’s easier to take the safer rides in life, so I guess that means I just need to show you that life is a lot more fun when you learn how to enjoy the ride. Look, I’m not asking you for forever, Willow, but at least give me a chance to show you the fall is worth taking off your seat belt and saying to hell with it, regardless of what your mind is telling you.” His eyes look over to where my seat belt is hanging, unconnected, next to the door. “I think you’ve already seen what fun it can be when you decide to unbuckle.”
“Not that I had much of a choice,” I mumble.
“That’s right. But can you tell me you didn’t enjoy the f*ck out of it? Feeling the rush when you stopped thinking and just rolled with it. Each and every hard inch created by that rush?”
I gasp, catching his meaning.
“All I’m asking is that you give me a chance to find out what makes you … you. Explore all those things I know you felt before and confirmed just now when you were in my arms. I have no hidden agenda here, Willow. I’m just asking you to take a chance. What you see through those skeptical eyes isn’t me exuding confidence, but rather me trusting my gut when it has never steered me wrong before.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I whisper and pull my hand from his when I feel the SUV stop. I ignore his sigh and look out the window to see we’ve parked next to a large home. “I don’t want to be the girl who’s stuck on the kiddie rides in life anymore, Kane, but I’m warning you this won’t be easy for me. It won’t be easy for me to just let go and trust this isn’t some cruel joke fate has tucked up her sleeve.” I turn my attention back to his while reaching my hand out to the door handle. “Everything you make me feel scares the crap out of me, but you’re right. Regret is an ugly thing, and I’m sick of being the girl who has a closet stockpiled with it.”
His face, which has been the picture of apprehension since I started speaking, relaxes, and the smile he’s famous for knocks the wind right out of my sails.
“A chance. My head says no, but for once, I’m going to follow your lead and trust what my gut is telling me. My mind has proven lately that I don’t always know what’s best for me.” I take a breath and hold my hand up when he opens his mouth to respond. “Please, just don’t make me add another regret to my already stuffed full closet.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond; instead, I pull the handle and step out into the comfortable Georgia fall weather. Kirby is standing nervously outside of the vehicle that brought her and her family here.
“Are you okay?” she questions obviously noting my appearance and frazzled nerves.
I sigh. “Honestly, Kirb? I’m not really sure.”
I look back at the black windows that close Kane to us and wonder what in the hell I’m thinking by allowing myself to potentially be crushed by that man. I wasn’t lying; I don’t trust him. I would be a fool to blindly trust someone I don’t know, let alone someone who is so publicly scrutinized.
I’ve wanted a change, and this is about as big of one as it could possibly get.
It’s time to put the new Willow out in the world and finally be the strong woman I’ve been building myself to be. Fear is no longer a ride I wish to travel.
WE SPEND THE REST OF our afternoon enjoying the house we’ve been put up in. I’m not sure how Kirby managed to swing this, but we might as well be staying in a mini mansion. With seven bedrooms—SEVEN—four bathrooms, the largest gourmet kitchen I’ve ever seen in my life, two living rooms—both formal and informal—and probably every upgrade known to man, this place is far beyond something that a regular member of the production team would ever have. Kane’s entertainment company sure did roll out the red carpet for Kirby.