Path of Destruction (Broken Heartland, #2)(68)

“Now you do,” he said quietly, releasing her hand from his. “And I haven’t forgotten how it felt seeing you and Prescott connected at the face on the Fourth of July. So I’m sorry if that was uncomfortable for you.”

“You saw us on the Fourth of July?”

This was news. She took a step toward him.

Cooper nodded. “I did. I was coming up there to tell you how I felt, that I wanted…I don’t know…more, I guess. I wanted to tell you before I told…him.”

Ella Jane swallowed hard. Nothing made sense.

“But you didn’t.”

He huffed out a pained laugh. “No. I didn’t want to interrupt your make-out session. Looked like you were enjoying it.”

Ella Jane’s reactions were beginning to frighten her. She was mad, sad, and freaking furious. Why hadn’t he just told her sooner? Then she could’ve been with him all summer. She wouldn’t have been stuck on that ridge, Kyle wouldn’t have had to come rescue her, and he’d still be alive.

Without thinking about it, she used both hands to shove Cooper out of her space. Hard.

“What the fu—”

“No. No, you do not get to do this to me. I loved you, Brantley Cooper. Damn you. For years. For f*cking years! Do you get that? I planned our future together in my head day after day. A future that included my brother. And it would have been a reality if you hadn’t been such a goddamned coward.”

He blurred before her, either because of moisture pooling in her eyes or because she was about to pass out from rage. She shoved him again. He stood solid, unyielding. He didn’t even make a move to stop her assault. She threw her entire body weight into the next shove.

“It should’ve been different. Everything should’ve been different! Why did you wait so long? Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice cracked. “Why did you stop?”

“Stop what, Ellie?”

He wrapped his arms around her and she collapsed against him. “Wanting more. Loving me. Why did you stop loving me?”

“Hey.” Cooper held her firmly by the shoulders, forcing her to face him, tears, snot, and all. “I never stopped loving you. I will never stop.”

Ella Jane aimed a pointed glare toward the barn. “You have a fantastic way of showing it.”

Cooper tilted her chin up, returning her gaze to his. “Love isn’t something I fully understand. I don’t think you do either. But I do know that sometimes it grows and changes. Sometime it takes a step back or morphs into a different kind because it has to. But I will always love you. One way or another.”

Ella Jane jerked out of his grasp. She couldn’t hear this. Not now. Not after what she’d seen.

“Like a brother. You mean you will always love me like a brother.”

Cooper’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t f*cking know, okay? Why do you have to make everything so hard all the time? I can’t give you all the answers. I don’t know why I waited. I don’t know why I was such a f*cking coward! And I don’t know why he’s dead!”

He was shouting now. Ella Jane forced herself not to flinch back as he continued.

“What do you want from me? You want me to take the blame? Fine. It’s my f*cking fault then, okay? If I had done things differently, he’d still be here. Is this what you want to hear?”

Ella Jane could feel the anguish rolling off of him onto her.

“I-I don’t know what I want, what I want to hear.” She could feel her entire body trembling. “I should go. I’m sorry I came. Goodbye, Coop.”





It had happened again. Once again, she’d let herself believe that Cooper really wanted more from her, really did see her as more than a fling—she’d met his parents after all—and somehow Ella Jane Mason had shown up and reminded her that she would always come second.

The really screwed-up part was she felt guilty for being angry—after all, he’d warned her and he was simply keeping a promise he’d made to Kyle. The same Kyle she’d loved and made love to and still hadn’t told Cooper about.

“So you two were really close, huh?” She’d gathered up her courage and pointed to a picture tucked into the corner of Cooper’s mirror above the dresser in his loft. He was wearing riding gear and he and Kyle were holding a trophy high above their heads.

Cooper had just come up to the loft after she’d had dinner with his family for the first time. He’d stayed in the house to do the dishes and she’d used her alone time in there to snoop around. What she found was heart-wrenching. He and Kyle Mason had been friends for a very long time. Since they were adorable little boys playing in the mud in diapers. And judging from most of the pictures, wherever they went, Ella Jane followed. Maybe that was why she seemed so lost now.

“Me and Mase? Yeah. He was my brother from another mother.”

Despite the twisty sensations making her insides uncomfortable, she smiled. “That’s sweet. I’m sorry…for your loss.”

It was my loss, too, she wanted to tell him. I loved him, too. She wanted to scream these words at him and Ella Jane both sometimes. But she kept them to herself, unsure as to what would happen if she let them go and afraid of losing what little bit of stability she had in her life.

“Thanks. It’s…it’s not something you get over, you know?” Cooper glanced at the picture she was referring to. “I’ve just tried to learn to live with the fact that he’s gone. In a way, I’m glad I don’t race anymore. I don’t know if I could do it without him there.”