Path of Destruction (Broken Heartland, #2)(55)

“Pull over!” she heard Cooper yell from beside her. “Pull the hell over now, Ella Jane.”

He was playing a hazardous game of chicken should any cars come along. Glancing over, she saw the outrage on his face.

How had everything gone so wrong?

She’d decided to take Lynlee’s advice, work out some of her frustration on Jarrod Kent since he was a good-time guy not connected to the memory of her brother in any way. Seeing Cooper, who’d told her in no uncertain terms that there was no way in hell he’d be at prom, there to escort Cameron Nickelson had fueled her desire to become belligerent beyond feeling.

And then all hell had broken loose.

One minute, she had been drowning her body weight in whiskey, and the next, Hayden had been there yelling and punching people. Where Cooper had factored in, she wasn’t sure. But her grand plan of remaining blissfully numb had been shot to hell, so she’d left. Apparently, Hayden hadn’t followed, but Cooper had.

Livid and confused, she swerved off the road once they’d crossed back into Hope’s Grove. Gravel flew beneath the truck’s tires and she hopped out and stepped down into the dust.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” The words were muffled by his truck engine, but she heard them clear enough.

“Me? What’s the matter with me?” She waited to make sure that was what he’d actually said. “Oh, I don’t know, Coop. Maybe I’m pissed. Maybe I’m grieving the death of my brother and our friendship. Maybe I’m so damn sick and tired of everyone treating me like a fragile mental patient. You want to go to prom with Cameron Nickelson? Fine. Go to prom with her. But the least you could’ve done was been honest with me when I asked you about it.”

He yanked his tie loose and threw his hands up in exasperation. “Don’t act like that’s your only issue right now. You were drinking before I even got there. Nice choice in company, by the way.”

“I could say the same to you,” she bit back at him.

Cooper took a deep breath and stepped closer to her, close enough to touch. Ella Jane’s line of sight blurred slightly. Reaching out to steady herself, she was relieved when he caught her.

“Hey, easy there, party girl. Since when do you drink the hard stuff, anyway?”

She narrowed her eyes up at him. “You’ve been sneaking me beers since I was thirteen. Or did you forget that? Does none of that count anymore since Kyle’s gone?”

His name produced the same throat lump it always did. EJ swallowed it down the best she could.

“Sneaking a beer or two every now and then is not the same thing and you know it. So how about you tell me what’s really going on with you. What’s been going on with you? This about Kyle? Or someone else?”

For a long time, she was quiet. Because the truth was she didn’t know why she felt this way all the time. She just did.

Angry. Sad. Lost. Alone. Empty.

It wasn’t getting better. It wasn’t easing up or going away. If anything, it was worse.

Cooper settled in to wait, leaning against his truck and pulling her against him. It was nice, being with him this way. Familiar. Comfortable.

Once upon a time being this close to Brantley Cooper would’ve sent her heart into dangerous palpitations. So much had happened…so much had changed.

“I feel like…like I’m fighting a battle. Against someone I can’t see. And I’m losing. Every day. Every day, I wake up and I lose him all over again. And I lose you a little more. And…I’m losing me.”

Her confession broke the dam inside—the one she’d boarded and nailed shut the past few months.

“Hey,” Cooper said gently, pulling her around to face him. “Look at me.”

She didn’t comply immediately, so he used his fingers to tilt her chin upward until their gazes connected.

“Listen to me. You will never lose me. I promise. Okay?” He waited for a response, but she said nothing. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“We don’t talk anymore,” she said finally.

“We talk all the time,” Cooper argued. “We sit together at lunch every day.”

Ella Jane shook her head and frowned at him. A slight tingle began beneath her skin where he still gripped her face. “We talk, but we don’t say anything. Not really. You don’t tell me what’s going on with your family, what’s happening with the farm… You haven’t said one word about whether or not you miss racing, and you lied to my face when I asked you about prom. Since when do we lie to each other, Coop?”

Cooper opened his mouth, but she placed a finger over his lips.

“I had sex with Hayden last summer. I get high with Kent or with whoever is feeling generous at the moment. I miss Kyle so much I can’t breathe when I let myself really think about him, about the night he died. I want out of this town, out of this life, and I don’t know how to escape. I’ve missed you. I’ve wanted to tell you everything, but…I couldn’t. We used to have this…I don’t know. Connection. Or at least, I thought we did. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was all in my head.”

Cooper didn’t argue. “It wasn’t.”

“What happened to us? Did our connection die with my brother? Am I too much of a mess for you to be friends with?”