Part-Time Lover (Part-Time Lover #1)(62)

“What?” Christian and I speak the one-word question at the same time, looking at each other, then at Erik.

I straighten my spine, part my lips, and am this close to asking Christian what his brother means with the whole not in love comment, when realization smacks me hard. Erik knows Christian doesn’t love me. Of course he knows. They’re brothers, they’re besties—they know all the things.

My heart crashes to the floor and shatters into thousands of jagged bits. A tear slaloms down my cheek, and I wipe the traitorous evidence away as quickly as I can. Neither one of them notices since they’re focused on each other.

My fingers shake, and I hurt.

I hurt everywhere.

“Why did you do this?” Christian asks his brother in a heavy tone.

Erik slams his fist on the table in excitement. “I needed to be a man and solve my shit. So I made her a ridiculous offer for her shares, and she said yes. I figured she’s realized her gambit failed, and I bought out her shares for more than they’re worth to get her off my back and out of my life. She signed the papers my lawyers drew up, and I’m the majority shareholder again.” He beams again, no clue that his news has cracked me in two. “I now pronounce you ex-husband and ex-wife. Why don’t you let me buy you breakfast, so Elise can be on her way to the airport?”

I sit in stunned silence, unsure what to say to anyone but the waiter. I ask for a coffee, but when I’m halfway through, I can’t take it any longer. I can’t take sitting here across from Christian while Erik prattles on about next steps for the firm and deals he wants to put together. He fires ideas at Christian, who weighs in matter-of-factly, as if he’s ended one business deal and is embarking on another.

Why on earth should I stay? I’m not needed. This is business for them. We don’t need to play pretend anymore.

I stand. “I need to go.” I do my best to erase the sound of tears from my voice, but I’m not sure I’m successful. “Flight to catch.”

“Your trip is today?” Christian asks, curiously.

I nod as I step away from the table so I can hail a taxi. Erik and I say goodbye, then I answer Christian. “Yes, Nate moved it up by two days. I called last night to tell you, but Erik answered.”

“And invited you to go along to see Jandy?” he says, as if he’s putting puzzle pieces together.

I nod, swallowing in the words, because if I speak I will break down.

Christian signals to his brother that he’ll be right back, then he follows me down the sidewalk, his brow furrowed. “Did you know he was going to make the offer?”

I shake my head, forcing myself to speak as evenly as I can. “No idea. He said he couldn’t face her alone.”

“He went in there on his own and did it?”

I take a breath. “He said he needed company, and I said yes because I wanted to be helpful.”

He nods a few times and hums. “You’ve always wanted to be helpful.”

“I suppose.”

He says okay, and I can’t read his expression or tell what he means. Then he speaks quietly. “He thinks we want to be over.”

My heart jams its way to my throat, as a cruel, fresh new realization sets in. Maybe this is fate. Maybe fate is trying to save me from jumping off the cliff. “We can be free now, I guess.”

“Is that what you want?” he asks, his voice sounding heavier than usual.

Tears sting the back of my eyes as a taxi down the block turns on its indicator light, signaling that it’s coming my way. “I want to be happy.”

I thought that was with him, but his happiness isn’t with me. It’s better I know that now, so I can keep moving forward. Absently, I run a finger over the taxicab charm necklace.

“You found it?”

“Diana, the other wife. She was in town. She brought it to me.”

He knits his brow. “That’s who you were seeing last night?”

“Yes.”

He shakes his head and drags a hand through his hair. “You didn’t tell me you were seeing her.”

“I planned to. I didn’t have a chance yet.”

“Listen.” His voice is heavy. “There’s a lot we need to talk about.”

I nod as the green car wedges itself along the curb next to me. “I’m sure we’ll have paperwork to file.”

He grabs my arm. “I’m not talking about paperwork. I’m talking about us.”

The cab driver honks, and that’s my cue. “Of course.” We need to define the terms of the untangling just as we did the entanglement. “I should probably focus on my new account, though, when I’m gone. How about we work out all that stuff when I return?” I paste on a cheery grin as I grab the door handle.

He grabs it too, reaching for my hand. “Let me ride with you. Let’s talk now. I can’t let you go on this trip with this hanging between us. Even if we don’t need to be married, I still want you in my life.”

Wanting me in his life isn’t the same. It’s not the same as what I want.

I want him. I want him as my husband, my Friday-night lover, and my business partner, all rolled in one.

And since I can’t have that, I don’t know if I can handle anything at all, even if the thought tears me in two.

I bite the inside of my lip. I can’t break down now. I can’t, and I won’t. “I can’t talk right now,” I say, pushing out the words so I don’t let loose a rainstorm.