Paradise Found: Cain (Paradise #2)(61)

“Does he know the truth?” I asked quietly. My tone expressed my concern. Bracing myself for Kursch’s answer, I closed my eyes. If Cain knew the truth, it would be one more lie from him.

“He found out when you did. He demanded everything of me, when he was finally calm enough to ask. Understandably, he was pretty upset at first,” his voice remained low.

“And what did you tell him?”

Kursch looked away from me, staring out the front window of his truck. His eyes didn’t appear focused as much as lost. Lost in a memory of a painful past.

“I told him the truth. I shot your mother,” he said, twisting to hold my gaze. His dark eyes were cold, but the lines around them lied. He had done something horrible, but the guilt was hard to contain. I stumbled back in my disbelief.

“You …” I didn’t believe it. “You couldn’t have.” My hand shook as it came to my mouth, holding in a scream, holding back bile, holding in pain at the betrayal of a man I considered a friend.

“I was young, and I was eager to prove myself. There’s no excuse. I was trigger happy, and I reacted when she stepped forward.” He stared at me, letting the words sink in, gauging my reaction. My whole body trembled. I took another step back, my head slowly wagging from left to right.

“I didn’t mean to shoot her. I didn’t mean to kill her. I panicked.” He turned away to stare emptily out the window again. “And Atom took care of me. He took care of everything, like he always does.” His voice was hollow, as empty as his gaze.

Far enough away from the vehicle, Kursch was able to reach for the door and close it, shutting me out. I stood in disbelief as he backed out of the spot. The words vibrated momentarily through the cool mountain air before settling around me. There was more meaning in them than covering for a man that had committed a murder. Kursch had made a deal with the devil after that sin. My stomach rumbled again. I vomited in the empty lot.





That night I waited, willing Cain to come to me. I looked out my living room window, the lights on low, as I stared into the darkness. My forehead pressed against the glass, as I watched the empty yard below, hoping he would appear. He told me he drove by almost nightly. He told me he checked on me. Could he see me? Did he know that my heart ached, shattered, drifted on the wind with all that I’d learned? By now I assumed Kursch told Cain he’d given me the truth. Secrets were hard to keep once lies began to unfold. For the briefest moment, my heart pinched at the thought that Cain might suffer, too. His confidante and caregiver was a killer, and he’d never known. Then I remembered that Cain could be cold and calculating, and my heart sealed up and choked me. Cain would be forgiving of such history. He had his own ghosts to contend with, and he’d understand the weight of killing.

My forehead rolled back and forth on the cool, glass pane, while my eyes closed. He wasn’t coming. I don’t know why I wanted him here. My heart was torn between wanting to scream at him, and wanting him to hold me tight, like he had the night before. I was falling apart inside. A good girl my whole life, I tried not to dwell on the loss of my parents, because my grandparents had been so kind to me. I’d done what I was asked and hardly asked for anything. One night. One night was all it took to turn my world upside down. One night; one fighter.

I stepped away from the window and curled up on the couch as I often had. My mind wouldn’t rest, although my body needed it. I turned on the television and stared at the flashing color of characters in motion, with the sound on low. The notepaper with the heart shaped logo of boxing gloves was crumbled in my hand. My eyes eventually closed, dried up from days of crying, but my brain was still open and overactive.

I couldn’t hold it in any longer than overnight. Kursch’s terse explanation wasn’t enough. Why was he there? What was he trying to prove? How did Atom take care of things? Why did Atom protect him?

I raced to Cain’s house. My heart matched the speed I traveled. I vibrated like the tires on my car, spinning round and round as they thrust forward. Coming to a screeching halt in front of his house, I stormed to the front door. Ready to pound the door down, it opened before my first knock.

“Sofie?” Cain smiled that slow smile that could melt my heart and my panties, but not today. I was not falling for it.

“Where’s Kursch?” I bit, pressing past him, not waiting for an invitation to enter the house. The door closed slowly behind me, and I spun to face Cain, whose arms crossed in a stance similar to his bodyguard.

“He’s not here.” He paused. “What’s going on?” His voice was filled with concern as he came forward, extending his hands to encircle my arms. I took a deep step back, willing him not to touch me. His hands dropped to his side and closed into fists.

“Did you know?” I questioned, my voice rising and breaking. “Did you know?”

Cain looked to the side.

“Speak,” I demanded.

“All I know is Kursch had been the one to pull the trigger. He was there as back-up. They were only going to hassle your parents, scare them a little bit. Your father owed Atom money. Kursch was recently returned from combat, and his finger still eager; the gun was his voice of reason. It wasn’t meant to happen. Your mother stepped forward and Kursch misunderstood.” The words spilled out of him.

“How could you keep this from me?” I yelled. “If you didn’t know at first, why didn’t you come to me when you learned the truth?”