Own the Wind (Chaos, #1)(94)

“I wouldn’t want that,” Shy declared, and I looked back at him.

“Pardon?”

He glanced my way, his hand tightened around mine then he looked back to the road and stated, “No other man. Not anyone but me.”

“Shy—” I began but it was my turn to get cut off.

“I get you believe that. I get why you need to believe that. It might be wrong that I tell you this but I also saw him with you that night at DCPA, and I know you wanna believe it but it’s not even a little true. He would not want me for you. He wanted only you for him and he wanted to be the only one for you. Now, baby, you’re right. Jason’s dead. He doesn’t get to want anything. But I’ll tell you, I love you so much, I’m selfish and I only want me for you, not you with anyone else, if I’m breathin’ or I’m dead. And Jason felt the same f*ckin’ way. I know that might suck hearin’ it but the truth is, there’s beauty in that. He didn’t love you enough to sacrifice you to another man. He loved you enough to want there to be only him for a lifetime ’cause that’s the way he felt about you. He didn’t get a lifetime. But, I’m tellin’ you now, I want a lifetime.”

I felt a stinging in my eyes as I admitted, “Shy, I don’t know what to do with that.”

He kept holding my hand tight when he replied gently, “Nothin’ to do with it. We don’t always get what we want, Tabby, and life goes on. I know you’ll always love him. I know you’ll always feel his loss. I gotta live with that. But luckily, love doesn’t have limits and you’re you, you got a lot of love to give. So I’ll take what I got since it’s everything. But, Tabby, baby, the point I’m making is, this is the only conversation we have where to me, that guy is Jason. He’s that guy. I am not bein’ a dick. I’m giving this to you real. I need that and I need you to give it to me ’cause he has a piece of you I’ll never have, so let me take what I need from him.” His voice dropped to low and sweet. “Do you get me, baby?”

“I get you, honey.”

He squeezed my hand, released the pressure and murmured, “Good.”

I looked to the windshield.

Shy drove in silence.

Then he broke it by declaring, “Settled. Three kids and a big shindig.”

“Settled,” I whispered.

“We’re not doin’ any of that ring-shoppin’-together bullshit. I’ll take care of you and you get the question and the time it’s asked as a surprise.”

I liked that. Something to look forward to.

All of it.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“Though I know the answer,” he went on, his voice soft but there was a smile in it.

“Yeah.”

He knew the answer. He so totally did.

“Yeah,” he repeated.

We went quiet.

Time passed, we hit Denver and I called, “Shy?”

“Right here, sugar.”

“Love you.”

He lifted my hand, touched his lips to my fingers, and then dropped my hand to his thigh.

Then he drove us home in silence.

There it was.

He loved me too.





Chapter Twenty


Stuck with Me


Early the next morning…

I heard my cell ringing, my eyes blinked open as I felt Shy’s hand on my behind give a reflexive squeeze.

I sleepily noticed it was still dark.

My cell kept ringing and Shy growled, “What the f*ck? Who’s callin’ at three in the f*ckin’ morning?”

I didn’t know but to find out, I had to get my cell, and I also had to get my cell because any call at three in the morning was a call you had to take. Unfortunately, this meant I had to roll off him and away, which I did, reaching toward the nightstand. He rolled with me so his front was pressed to my side, his thigh between my legs. I grabbed my phone, looked groggily at the display, and, at what I saw, sleep left me completely.

I slid my finger on the screen and put it to my ear.

“Natalie,” I greeted.

It was the first time I’d heard from her since we had our big fight.

“Tabby,” she replied, her voice small, scared, a way she never sounded and it sent shivers crawling over my skin. “I’m in trouble.”

Oh no.

I knew Shy felt my panic because I was no longer holding my phone to my ear. Shy had taken my phone and he was pressed into me in order to reach out and switch on the light.

I winced in the sudden brightness as Shy spoke.

“You got Shy. What’s goin’ on?” he said into the phone.

I blinked to adjust my eyes then stared at his face which was scary hard.

“Right, where are you?” he asked and his tone sent my hand shooting up to curl around his jaw. His eyes came to me, they were scary hard too, and I held my breath. He kept talking. “How many are there with you?”

Oh no.

No!

“Firepower?” he asked.

Firepower? God!

“Okay, hang tight,” Shy ordered as he rolled over me and got to his feet. I rolled to my side as he kept ordering. “Do not say anything stupid. Do not do anything stupid. But stall ’em. I’m makin’ the calls, the brothers are rollin’ out. It could be thirty, it’ll probably be forty-five.”