Own the Wind (Chaos, #1)(75)

His eyes went to the ceiling. “Got her off, seconds later, she’s rarin’ to go again.”

“It’s been minutes, Shy,” I pointed out, he aimed his eyes at mine and grinned at me.

Then his grin faded and he declared, “Right, before we tear each other up again, gotta talk to you about something.”

I registered the grin fade, sensed his mood, and therefore melted into him.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Boys voted. We’re takin’ on the mountains.”

I felt my brows draw together. “Pardon?”

“Expanding Ride, sugar. Boz and Brick went out, scouted locations. Durango or Grand Junction. It’s lookin’ like it’ll probably be Grand Junction. We’re movin’ out of just havin’ places along the Front Range and opening a new shop out west.”

I smiled and cried, “Wow! That’s cool!”

His lips twitched and he replied, “Yeah.”

I studied him. His lips twitched but I got the sense he wasn’t committed to his “yeah.”

So I asked, “What’s on your mind, darlin’?”

Shy didn’t hesitate to share. “Brick, Dog, and Boz are goin’ out next week, makin’ the final decisions on the locations we might buy. They’ll bring the info on the options to the Club, big meeting. All the boys from Fort Fun and C. Springs will come to town, we vote on one, it’s a go. Dog and Brick have already volunteered to up stakes, head out, and oversee start-up. We’ll be findin’ new recruits, gettin’ ’em started, since more boys will be needed when the store is up and running. Bat, Arlo, and Tug have already made it clear they’re good to go out and be part of that team. Leaves us down in numbers, so it’s time to build the Club.”

I nodded.

Shy kept talking.

“Brick and Dog both say already they wanna stay in the mountains for a while, change of scenery.”

“Right,” I prompted.

“That means Tack’s losin’ his lieutenants.”

My heart flipped.

“Right,” I said again but this time slowly.

“Deal’s done. Those two brothers are goin’ and gonna be gone at least a year, probably more. So Tack is makin’ decisions. He asked Hop to step up when they go.”

My shoulders drooped.

“He also asked me,” Shy finished.

My face split into a grin, Shy’s eyes dropped to my mouth then he rolled me so I was on my back and he was up on a forearm, looming over me but bent so our faces were close.

His other hand framed the side of my head and his thumb slid along my hairline when he muttered, “Don’t get excited, babe.”

“But that’s cool. That’s respect. That’s an honor, Shy.”

“Yeah. It is,” he agreed. “But you gotta get that, for you, that also means I might not be around as much. It isn’t like Dog and Brick are called to duty daily, but they got extra shit to do the other brothers do not.”

“Okay.” Again I said this slowly and when he didn’t speak, I asked, “What aren’t you saying, honey?”

“Not sure I wanna do it.”

I blinked.

Then I asked, “What?” I paused, but before he could speak I asked, “Why?”

He sighed, looked at my throat, then looked back at me as his hand drifted down to curl around the side of my neck. “My commitment to the Club is there. My commitment to the brothers…”

He let that hang and didn’t go on but my stomach tied in a knot.

“Really?” I asked quietly.

“Really,” he answered firmly.

The knot in my stomach twisted.

“Are you thinking of leaving the Club?” I forced out.

“Absolutely not.”

Well thank God for that.

“Okay, then, why?” I queried. “Why are you questioning your commitment to the men?”

He shook his head and looked at the pillow beside mine. “Thought I could, couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t what?”

He looked back at me. “Do not wanna drag you over old ground when shit is good, babe, but not one of them took my back when it went down and they found out about you and me. They made their calls, they patched things over, but I didn’t forget it, and I find they want more of me, I’m thinkin’ they gotta prove respect before I give it back.”

I beat back the urge to lick my lip before I asked, “Do you have issues with Dad?”

He shook his head. “Fuck no.”

At least that was firm.

Shy kept talking. “He had his reason and it was a good one. Them, parts of it I see, parts of it I don’t. Not one of them spoke up for me. That went down, I wasn’t a recruit. It wasn’t like I’d been in the Club two years, three, but near on a decade. They knew me and no one spoke for me?”

He shook his head but went on.

“Gotta say, your dad feelin’ that for me, thinkin’ I got what it takes to handle shit for the Club in his stead when he calls on me, speakin’ for him, the Club when they need me, that’s tight. I like it. That’s a tribute I didn’t expect, not at my age. I know the history with him and High. High seriously butted up against him when Tack was tryin’ to clean up the Club. Luckily, that shit got sorted but I know Tack didn’t forget, so I know why he doesn’t go there when High’s got more time in with the Club than me. I know Hound can go off on one, doesn’t have the disposition for diplomacy. Still, he could stick with Hop, have only one man he calls on and he called me up. I like that. But I’m thinkin’ I need more time with the brothers, I need it to feel solid again before I give more back.”