Own the Wind (Chaos, #1)(19)

I had to admit, she was right about that. Jason loved me and I loved him, and although it would suck huge for him as it did for me, if he lost me, I loved him enough to hope he’d eventually be happy.

“I get you,” she said softly. “I so get you, Tab, spending time with Natalie, calling a brother to take care of you, having the feelings you had. You are not doing anything wrong except being way too hard on yourself. In this time especially, my beautiful girl, you need to be gentle with yourself. Please, stop beating yourself up.”

Okay, I had to admit she might be right about that too.

“Okay?” she pressed, and I nodded.

“Okay,” I replied quietly, and a small smile curved her mouth.

Then she let my hand go but lifted hers to tuck my hair behind my ear before she ran a finger lovingly along my jaw and her hand fell away.

“Now, since I’m laying it out, what I say next does not take back anything I said before, but it has to be said. Shy is a good guy and he did right by you. What you felt was natural and part of healing. Going out with Natalie was what you needed, and when you felt the situation was unsure, you did the right thing and called a brother to take care of you. But I caution you, Tab, to learn from these things, how they went wrong and how they made you feel. I know you love Natalie, but I also know you know she can be trouble. From what you said, I know Shy handled you with care, but I also know you know how he can be trouble for a girl who’s lost something precious and may be vulnerable.”

One could say I knew that.

Tyra wasn’t done.

“I can’t imagine Shy would ever go there with you, but Shy’s Shy and everyone knows all the ways he is, the good and, for a woman, the bad. Don’t get mixed up feeling those good feelings you had with him or any man. Assess where you are and only move forward in that part of healing when you’re genuinely ready. Not going for that hit that is meaningless just because it feels good and makes you forget. Am I making sense?”

She was.

She totally was.

She was also right. Shy took my back and handled me with care.

But Shy was Shy, and that wasn’t where it was heading. I wasn’t that for him.

He’d made certain to heal the breach but that was as far as it went. I couldn’t really mess up and mistake it for something else.

“I made him cookies,” I told her, and she blinked.

“You made him cookies?”

“We played pool, we bet on the games we played, and he bet me for cookies. I made them for him. They’re in the kitchen. I also didn’t phone him for six weeks even after he was great with me and now, I… I… well”—I threw out a hand—“I don’t know how to face him. What to say. How to excuse the fact I didn’t call to say thanks or even hi.”

Her eyes moved over my face and hair, I saw something flash in them before she hid it, caught my gaze, and grinned at me.

“Shy bet you for your cookies.”

I grinned back and muttered, “Shut up.”

“Maybe Shy isn’t as sharp as Tack thinks he is,” she remarked.

“I warned him, he said he wanted cookies.”

Something else flashed in her eyes again before she hid it—again—and I gave her that play. I did this because when I needed my own head space, she gave it to me. It would be uncool not to return the favor.

“Okay, this is the plan,” she declared. “I take your car and the cookies to the roast. I tell everyone you aren’t feeling great and ask one of the guys to bring your car back tomorrow. You take tonight to relax and reflect.” She grinned. “Or not reflect and just relax. Whatever you need. Then, in your time, when you’re ready, you find your way to connect with Shy and share gratitude. He’ll know by the cookies you didn’t forget.”

That sounded like a plan and, as usual, Tyra sorted me out.

“Thanks, Ty-Ty,” I said softly.

“Anytime, honey,” she replied softly then shifted to move off the bed, ordering, “Right. Cookies.”

I rolled off my side, got her my keys and the cookies, got her long hug at the door and locked it after she was gone.

I moved back to my room, changed into a nightie and my robe, washed the makeup off my face and went to the kitchen. I grabbed the leftover chocolate from Christmas that I had a lot of. Tyra went nuts with stockings at Christmas, and not just with Rider and Cut, who expected Santa to go bonkers, but also with me and my older brother, Rush, who were too old for Santa. It was three months old but I was going to eat it.

I took it to the couch, sorted out my Hitchcock marathon, and scared myself silly through Rebecca and Rear Window before falling asleep among a mountain of green, red, gold, and silver foil during The Birds.





Chapter Three


It Was Family


The bell at my door rang. I jumped and foil wrappers went flying.

I saw blue screen on my TV and stared at it fuzzily for a second before I grabbed my remote, hit Off, and the screen went blank. My eyes went to the DVD player and I saw it was just coming on nine in the morning.

The bell sounded again, and I turned my head to look at the door.

“Who could that be?” I muttered, straightening from the couch amid a fall of silver, gold, red, and green.

It wasn’t quite nine, and I grew up Chaos. This meant I knew that my people didn’t often see that hour and definitely not after a hog roast. Not even if they got a wild hair with being worried about me and popped by, which happened more than occasionally lately.