Overture (North Security, #1)(41)

“In about five minutes.”

Emotions chase across her face, as clear as the notes she plays on her violin—excitement, apprehension, a tentative hope. “I guess you must be relieved. Your civic responsibility will be over soon.”

“Were you listening outside the door, Samantha?”

A soft laugh. “Guilty.”

How can I resist her? The girl was beautiful and strong. The woman is devastating. “I do feel responsibility for you, but it has nothing to do with civic duty.”

“Then why did you say that to the reporter?”

“I wanted her to leave it alone. And I didn’t want to tell the real reason.” I can’t resist the truth when she’s looking at me like that, her eyes liquid brown, full of desire. It makes me want to be the man she thinks I am—the one who could cherish and keep her. Have her and hold her. That man will never be me, but doesn’t she deserve to know?

Or maybe I want one night of truth.

“What was the real reason?”

“That I loved you as soon as I heard you play. That I saw the way your father left you to fend for yourself, well before he died. That I wanted to hide you away from the world that would hurt you and scare you and use you, and I was just selfish enough to actually do it.”

Her eyes widen. “You never said you loved me before.”

“Love isn’t something I ever wanted, Samantha. Especially parental love. That was the worst kind of all. It was dangerous. Cruel. I never wanted to do that to you.”

It’s more than I meant to give away, revealing what I think about parental love, how horrible it can be. She doesn’t miss the implication. Her brown eyes widen. “What did your parents do to you?”

Once a principal had called my father. This is incredible news, the woman had said. Your son is extremely gifted. I spent three days and three nights in the well because of those test scores. I learned to get the answer wrong enough times not to attract attention, after that.

I never really believed the devil lived inside me. If I believed in the devil, then I had to believe in God, and he had abandoned me too long ago for me to speak his name—even to myself. It wasn’t the devil, precisely. It was me. Simply me. As I’d traced my fingers along the moss-damp bottom of the well, I knew that I deserved to be down here. That every glimpse of sunlight was a gift I didn’t deserve.

That every sweet thing I’d ever have would have to be stolen.

“And then when that love started to change into something else, when it was spiked with desire, I didn’t know how to handle that. It was better and so much worse at the same time.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of it.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Maybe it’s time that I gave you the sex talk,” she says, her tone impish. “So that way you’ll know what you’re doing. Repeat after me: condoms are mandatory.”

A bark of laughter escapes me. “I never stood a chance against you, did I?”

Her humor fades. “You’ve done a pretty good job resisting this.”

Part of me still wants to deny it. Stubborn to a fault, that’s me. But I can’t pretend not to want her anymore. Lust thrums through my body in visible shudders. Being this close to her, touching her, but not having her—it’s enough to rip me to shreds. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“How much longer?” she whispers.

My internal clock is accurate down to the second. “A minute.”

“What would you do to me? If I were over eighteen?”

Heat races through my veins. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, but I would do it again. And again. And again until you moaned into my mouth. And then I’d move lower, down your body. To your shoulders and your stomach. Your breasts. It’s all I can think about.”

Her chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. “Keep going.”

How did I ever think I was the one with control in this relationship? Because I made rules and she followed them, but that was always her choice. I only ever had as much control as she gave me. And I’m helpless in the face of her desire. “I want to kiss you between your legs, to taste you, to drink you in and make you push your hips against my face. And all the while you’ll play the violin, so perfect, so perfect, because you don’t know how to make a mistake, not even if you tried.”

Her eyes are wide and dark and luminous. “Liam.”

“But then I would find your clit. It would already be hard and throbbing. Slick. I’d flick it with my tongue, again and again, ruthless, not caring that you’d beg me to go slower or softer. Your hands would falter, and there would be a terrible sound from the violin, because you would come hard enough to forget.”

“How much longer?” she says on a tortured breath.

At some point my words stopped being hypothetical. They became a promise, and every muscle in me strains for completion. My whole body aches to hear the beautiful sounds as she rises and the terrible screech as she comes for me.

“Almost doesn’t count,” I mutter, grim and aching.

“Now.”

I shake my head, my eyes not leaving hers. She’s heavy-lidded, her lips gently parted. “Ten,” I tell her. “Nine. Eight.”

She moves her violin back into place, her arms up as the bow goes into position. How many times have I seen her like this? And yet she’s completely different. It can’t be the seconds ticking away. Nothing as external as time. Something’s changed inside her.