Open Wounds (Harbour Bay #2)(45)

Darryl stroked her back with his hand and kissed her forehead. Despite their many couplings over the past few hours, to Kellie this moment was far more intimate. They lay, their bodies entwined on the bed and listened to each other’s breathing. She could get used to this.

Kellie suddenly stiffened. Could she even dare to hope that there would be a repeat? She knew she wasn’t the best in bed. There was always a level of control she needed to exert at all times which made letting go out of the question. Her previous partners had given her pleasure but they’d had to work hard for her to achieve it. She figured she wasn’t cut out for pleasure so intense she almost blacked out. Last night had proved her wrong.

Could she allow Darryl to slip past her barriers and into her heart? Could she permit herself to love and need him, to rely on him? He was one of the best men she’d ever met and her fear was debilitating. Trust had never come easy for her and she was afraid to give him any power over her.

Intimacy was a new thing for her. She liked her space. Which was why no one ever stayed the night. Not to mention she was prone to nightmares. The last thing she ever wanted to do was to scare the crap out of some unsuspecting guy or attack him in her sleep. She was afraid it would only be a matter of time before he thought her too high maintenance, and she couldn’t blame him if he chose to take back the words uttered during passion last night.

“Where did you go in your mind just now?” he asked, seeming to notice her distraction.

“Nowhere.”

“Liar.” He took her hand and linked his fingers with hers. “Do you still see a therapist?”

His perceptiveness amazed her. “Sometimes when the nightmares become debilitating. Not so often nowadays, but they sneak up on me.”

“When was the last time?”

“Yesterday morning.”

He nodded. He must have figured that was why she’d been at the LAC so early.

“The doctor says it’s due to the lack of closure in my case. That they’d probably go away once he’s caught.”

Even to this day, she could still smell him. Sometimes feel him on top of her, inside her. She could see his face when she closed her eyes and often had nightmares about that night. He’d been so strong she hadn’t been able to fight him.

“I try not to dwell on it. It only gives him more power.”

Darryl pulled her tighter against him and she kissed his chest, feeling the small hairs tickle her lips and chin.

“Tell me. How did Donovan react all those years ago?”

She smiled. “In typical Donovan Style. She huffed and puffed and harassed the detective. He pulled her aside one day and said, ‘it’s not as easy as it looks kid. If you think you have what it takes, why don’t you give it a go?’”

“I guess I know how that ended.”

Tears gathered. She blinked them away. At least something good came out of that horrible night. Amelia had fallen in love with the work just like Kellie had with Internal Affairs.

“How did you two drift apart?” he asked, breaking the silence that had fallen.

Kellie stared up at her ceiling. If she looked into his eyes, she would have refused to speak. She didn’t want to see whatever he might be thinking or feeling.

“I wanted to forget. But every time I looked at Mia I saw how much she thought about it. She blamed herself for not being able to save me. As hard as I tried, it was always between us. She would never forget.”

Back then, talking about it hadn't been an option. Her friend may have known all that had happened but not how deeply they'd affected her and she'd been unable to voice them. Until the end.

She hadn't meant to toss a friendship that meant so much to her aside, but by the time she’d come good it’s been too late.

She'd not fought and that was her worst mistake. It was something she'd agonised over and until the other night hadn’t thought she'd get the chance to explain and perhaps move on and start fresh. She was hopeful she can repair what she'd destroyed.

“In the end I left. I never meant to hurt her. I was selfish.”

He rolled them to the side until she lay beneath him. He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly over hers at first, then applied more pressure. His lips moved seductively and a moan caught in her throat. Kellie clung to him as wave after wave of pleasure threatened to pull her overboard into the swirling abyss. Her toes curled and she arched into him.

“You are the bravest, strongest woman I have ever met. I am in awe of you,” Darryl said when he finally broke the kiss, his voice ragged.

She blushed at his words and at the sincerity in his voice, then lifted her head and kissed him again. Her alarm sounded, startling them both. They chuckled at the reaction. He groaned and thwacked a hand over the incessant shrilling, effectively shutting it off. He stared back at her with eyes filled equally with promise and regret.

He ran a hand over his whiskered face. “I’d better go home and change.”

She didn’t want that morning to end. She didn’t want the day to intrude on this magic, and she had a suspicion she might never experience it again. Her bottom lip protruded as she sulked and he took advantage of it and nipped on her soft flesh. Heat infused her, but he rolled out of bed before she could retaliate.

She watched with pleasure as he strode about the bedroom collecting his clothes before winking at her. He slipped inside the bathroom and closed the door, leaving her alone in bed.